Admissions
by talentedgemx
Summary: Based after the events of 4x13 Gail attempts to come to grips with her feelings and eventually confronts Holly with what's on her mind, in her own specific Gail way. My first Rookie Blue fic after a while away from writing. Please let me know what you think. Now a multi-chapter piece.
1. Chapter 1

Gail stopped in front of her locker and breathed. She closed her eyes as she exhaled, slow and steady trying to calm whatever it was she was feeling.

She rested her hand on the cool metal in front of her and somehow that helped, the coldness of it attaching itself to her and for the first time that morning she felt a little more like herself.

Gail pushed the rest of her breath out as she let the light back in; her lips slightly parted and she tried not to think about her friends that were still in hospital, or the gorgeous brunette she left in bed at 6am that morning. She thought if she didn't concentrate on any of it, then maybe she wouldn't have to deal with it, and then maybe for a few minutes she might find a bit of peace.

She had that feeling in her chest again and she didn't know what to do with it. It was exactly how she felt when she woke up and realised where she was, and ultimately the reason why she had run – because Gail Peck didn't know how to have those reactions. She didn't know how to function in the presence of someone who provoked such a strong response from her and so she felt like she had to leave.

So that was what she did; even when she knew she was making a huge mistake Gail had gently closed the door to Holly's apartment behind her and headed straight for the station to begin her day. She threw herself into her no shit taking, bold and brash officer Peck persona that she had crafted so meticulously during her 26 years and she hadn't let a single thing touch her.

Gail Peck knew how to deflect, it was an asset she perfected through being the daughter of her mother and Gail knew better than anyone how to focus on whatever was needed in order to get the job done. In this case that was not to dwell on Chloe and Sam laying in hospital in critical condition with gunshot wounds; not to think about Oliver's abduction that made her relive her own with snapshot imagery and which in turn lead her onto Jerry's death.

She knew how not to talk about it in therapy so she certainly knew how to avoid the thoughts during the day. She would leave that for her dreams.

Gail felt the coolness of her locker again as she leaned her forehead against it. Even though nothing particularly eventful had happened during her shift it was still difficult. It was difficult to just keep going, to patrol the streets and keep the serve and protect image alive but someone had to do it, and Andy needed to be at the hospital and Dov wasn't in a good place so Gail came through for them. She always would, even for Andy.

"Hey," came a cheery voice behind her.

Gail spun from her locker and her mind felt a little slow to catch up with her body. It made her dizzy for a moment. She had to squint to focus on Traci walk towards her. "Oh, hey," Gail replied.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." It was an automatic response that came out without thinking. Gail wasn't okay, but it wasn't like she was about to admit it.

Traci looked at her as if she was aware of it all. She of course knew the pain of loss and Gail always felt like she had absolutely no place to even try and feel any worse than Traci. If Traci was able to carry on then so should she, and she would. She was a Peck, after all.

"Are you?" Gail asked in continuation.

Traci shrugged. "Yeah you know.." she trailed off, not being about to find a suitable word and just shrugged by way of an answer. "You free to go over to the morgue? I want a rush on some evidence and I figure you're the best person to get some quick results over there."

"What?" Gail responded, not being able to stop how quickly it came out. Her brow furrowed as she looked at her friend.

Traci nodded, not noting the bite in Gail's tone even if she did pick up on it. But then bite wasn't unusual for Gail. "Holly," she stated matter-of-factly, "is she not at work today or something?"

Gail held Traci's gaze for a few moments trying to gauge what she was getting at, unsure really if Traci was actually getting at anything. She was over analyzing it but then to be fair, what was Gail trying to protect? It's not as if most of the unit hadn't seen her holding hands with Holly in the hospital waiting room last night.

Gail decided to drop any pretence, people's lives were in danger for God's sake. There were more important things going on than Gail's personal life and it's not as if she didn't know exactly where Holly was at that very moment. She sighed, her shoulders slumping forwards slightly. "Yeah, yeah she is," she answered quietly.

"Sooo, any chance of calling a favour in?" Traci stepped forward as she eyed Gail carefully. She knew something was wrong, she had been in the locker room for at least five minutes and Gail hadn't come out with a single sarcastic retort. It had to be some kind of record.

Gail uneasily grasped the back of her neck; she was feeling stressed again and she could definitely do with Holly rubbing her shoulders like she did last night, just before Gail fell asleep soothing away her aches and the pain. Holly's body all casually pressed up against her side like it magically fit there, the feeling of her warming Gail right the way through to her toes.

Gail's expression glazed over as she remembered the way Holly's breath lightly tickled her neck as she spooned Gail from behind. Holly's body pressing against her as her arm circled Gail's waist, her fingers relaxing gently over her stomach and Gail was pretty certain of, as she drifted off into the most peaceful sleep she had experienced in a long time the gentle dance of Holly's lips across her shoulder…

"Gail?"

"Huh?"

"The morgue?"

Gail stiffened and prayed she hadn't blushed from the memory. She shifted a little awkwardly where she stood. It was the perfect opportunity to go and see her. It would mean that she wasn't desperate or anything, not at all like she was absolutely aching to being within a foot of wherever Holly was at that very moment. It would be a work thing. Mandatory.

So why couldn't she make herself go?

"Oh I have social services."

Traci quirked a brow.

Gail nodded her head, as if trying to make herself believe it. "My report needs to submitted by six."

Traci didn't believe her for a second. "Right well, better get on it." She smiled, heading for the door. "Not like you to swerve some paperwork so you can spend time in forensics."

"It's called work Traci," Gail bit back, "remember that, before you made detective? Having to fetch your own reports and chase your own evidence?"

Traci laughed. "That's more like it, wondered what happened to the real Gail there for a second."

Gail smirked. "I'm never hiding for very long." She paused, the irony not lost on her so she quickly shook the thought out of her head. She joined Traci at the door and they headed into the corridor together.

"So, you want to tell me why you're really dodging the morgue?"

Gail rolled her eyes. "I'm not dodging the morgue."

"Yes you are."

Gail stopped dead and gestured a little too furiously out in front of her. "Will you let it go?"

She was getting frustrated. Gail didn't want this to be a big deal. It wasn't a big deal. It was just Holly, and that annoying longing sensation she felt in her chest whenever she thought about her. The overwhelming urge she had to call her, or text her and tell her how much she missed her and how much she really wanted to see her again tonight. Maybe even fall asleep wrapped up in each other again in Holly's big comfy bed. And maybe even some other stuff beforehand…

"Nope."

"Fine," Gail glared at her. "Buy me a drink later and maybe."

"I'll give you half an hour," Traci smiled tapping Gail on the arm as she backed away. "I'm meeting your brother."

"Uh. Perfect."

* * *

Gail sat twiddling her phone in her hands, the familiar sounds of the Penny drowning out behind her. She had been half expecting text messages in the double figures from Holly seeing as how she hadn't messaged her once all day. Or called her, either, for that matter.

_You're an idiot._

She knew it was true. She was doing the exact opposite of what she wanted to do because of some defiant need not to be weak. To not give in, to not become a fool over her feelings or desires. To not get her heart broken, really. Not again, and she couldn't even remember feeling this way about Nick, not this soon after meeting. So if what she felt for Holly was stronger, then the amount of heartbreak after would be worse, right? So why the hell would she want to walk blindly into that?

She downed the last of her drink. It was sensible not to enter into it.

_But you want to._

"Make it a double," she told the bartender, pushing her glass towards him. The phone vibrated in her hand and she opened the message immediately expecting it to be Traci who was now eight minutes late.

**You may be a cop, but you're still blond. If you've fallen down any holes I want to know about it. I would be very okay with rescuing you, because I'm suave like that. Hx.**

Just like that her restraint dissipated and Gail laughed, a proper throaty laugh as she thought about how much this girl was getting to her. Suave. Holly was a nerd and the two didn't really mix.

Gail absently ran her thumb down the side of her screen as she stared into it fondly. Holly had been there for her last night, had opened up her home and her bed and by all accounts her life, taking care of her when she really needed someone and Gail was treating her like crap. Holly deserved better, she absolutely deserved a whole world of better.

Gail re-read the message. Somehow Holly could find it within herself to be sarcastic and funny even when she had every reason to be completely pissed off with her. There was no doubt about it, Holly was amazing and there was no point in trying to deny it, Gail came over all fuzzy every time she thought about her. Her pulse raced that little bit harder when she saw her, and her crooked grin sent a shiver down Gail's spine. The interrogation room had sealed it, without question. The nervousness in Holly's demeanor and the worry on her face and then the softness of her lips pressed against her own. Gail wanted Holly's hands on her again more than she dared to admit but luckily, her three double Jack and Coke's were making it a whole lot easier to confess to what she really wanted.

It really made her heart ache.

"I know I'm late but you've got twenty minutes." Traci sat herself on the stool next to Gail's. "Steve's picking me up-" She caught herself when she noticed Gail's expression, somewhere stuck between panic and, confusion? She put her hand on Gail's shoulder. "Gail what is it?"

Gail dropped her phone to the bar and put her head in her hands. "She deserves better than me."

Okay, maybe not confusion. "What?" Traci asked, her tone soft as she tried to look into Gail's face. She was having none of it though and Gail dramatically dropped her arm to the bar and rested her forehead against it.

"This about Holly?" Traci knew that it was, she just needed to try and get Gail to open up. Easier said than done with a Peck, though.

Gail sat up abruptly, frowning for all she was worth. "I don't know what to do."

Traci sighed. Trust Gail to tell her absolutely nothing at all but at the same time expect her to understand what was going on. Luckily, and it didn't happen often, but when Gail wanted someone to see, all her emotions could easily be read cross her face. Traci smiled and gently squeezed Gail's shoulder. "You like her."

Gail took in a heavy breath and her frown seemed to triple. She had to look away from Traci for fear of spilling her soul right there and then. She couldn't do that, and that was the whole problem.

It was all Traci needed to know. "You need to go see her. Tell her and just…" Traci shook her head, "let yourself be happy."

"What if it all goes wrong?"

Traci grinned. "What if it doesn't?"

For the briefest of moments Gail's frown disappeared. She picked up her phone but then stopped, staring once more into the black screen. "But I could lose a really good friend."

"C'mon, has she ever just been a friend?"

"Yes!" Gail gave Traci an offended look. "She's just a friend now."

Traci scoffed. "I was at the hospital you know." Gail went to protest but Traci cut her off. "Are you afraid of what people will think?"

"No," Gail said very quickly. "I don't care what anyone thinks."

It took a moment before Traci could voice her next question. "Not even your mother?"

Gail smirked. "I could marry Prince Charming and she wouldn't approve." A sad silence passed between them until Gail needed to gloss over it. That was something else she didn't particularly want to think about. She picked up her drink that had sat untouched since Traci arrived and she downed half of it, the sharpness of the liquor burning the back of her throat. "No, I don't care about that."

"Then, Gail do yourself a favour and take a chance. This could be exactly what you need." She got off her stool. "I have to go now but promise me you'll call her."

Gail's frown was back as she polished off the rest of her drink and in one last ditch effort to be defiant she said nothing, and simply looked out across the bar.

Traci laughed, "You'll regret it," she said as she passed behind Gail, "and I thought you Peck's didn't back down to fear."

That one hurt and she turned just in time to see Traci head out the door. "I'm not afraid," she mumbled to herself, turning back again to look for the bartender. "Hey! Another double."

* * *

Holly was caught up in a dozen reports. All of them laid out across her coffee table as she sat cross legged in front of it. Her hand was lost in her hair as she leaned on her elbow, her glasses slightly forward on her nose, lost in thought on a new testing method she could become involved in. It was exciting, but try as she might she just couldn't focus. She dropped the file to the table and pushed her glasses to the top of her head.

She looked at her phone on the sofa next to her and it reminded her of Gail's call last night. She chuckled as the memory came back and she picked up the phone, holding it tight against her chin. Yesterday Holly went all day without a single message from Gail; she had woken up alone then spent the rest of the day worried that Gail had freaked out and done a runner. That was of course until Gail called her, drunk after a night at the Penny.

"_Holly, I'm sorry."_

_Holly immediately knew she was drunk because Gail was never apologetic. Not without some kind of double meaning anyway. "Okay," she replied. "What for?"_

"_You know what for."_

_But even when drunk she was still annoying. Holly prayed for the day Gail was just openly honest. "Okay," Holly replied when it was apparent Gail wasn't going to elaborate._

"_You see, I'm like a Trojan horse."_

_Everything that had built up inside of Holly since that morning spontaneously spilled out when she laughed out loud. She couldn't help it, all her pent up anguish just vented and she felt relieved. For a moment there she suspected she might have scared off the only person she had cared for in a very long time. "A Trojan horse?"_

"_Yeah." Holly could hear the gravel in Gail's tone. "Are you laughing at me?"_

_Holly tried to even out her voice. "No of course not. Is this like the cat and the tree?"_

"_No, it's different."_

_Holly could hear the strength of Gail's pout down the phone line. She smiled affectionately, this woman was so cute. Holly settled into the cushions of her sofa and curled her legs up underneath her. "Why are you like a Trojan horse, Gail?"_

_There was a pause before she began, as if she was unsure but then flung herself into an explanation like it made every inch of sense. "Because I'm strong willed and I have to win. Even when I don't. But I try, I always want to win so I try harder than anyone else and I won't give up until I know I can do it. That I can do anything. I'm stubborn, but I won't fail. I'll fight. I'm a fighter, a big strong fighter but l hurt people I care about, I'll trample feelings. But I don't want to. But I will because, I'm like a Trojan horse."_

_Holly frowned. Maybe Gail was trying for cryptic. "Are you also hollow on the inside?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_You know, with a dozen or so Greeks in your belly?"_

_Gail swallowed. "You, you think I'm hollow inside?" Her voice sounded upset, maybe even hurt and in all the time Holly had known her she'd never really known Gail to get upset. Not visibly anyhow, and never so obvious it could be heard down the phone._

_Holly immediately tried to backtrack on hearing the panic in Gail's voice. "No, no, I really don't. I just thought you know, big impenetrable Trojan horse… ?"_

_The line went silent for a second. "I am impenetrable. I'm very, impenetrable. The most impenetrable Trojan there is."_

_Holly bit her lip. "And therefore you have to win."_

"_Yeah. Always. I always have to win."_

"_Gail, the Trojan's lost the war, you know that right?"_

"_Whatever." Gail breathed out heavily, seemingly leaving the Trojan horses to rest with the cats in the trees. "Holly?"_

"_Yes, Gail?"_

"_I like your arms."_

_Holly laughed again but tried to conceal it. "I like your arms too." She was too cute. "Gail, are you going to remember this conversation in the morning?"_

"_Maybe."_

"_Are you at home?"_

"_Yeah. You want to come over?" Her tone became more optimistic._

_Holly smirked. "How about you come over here tomorrow? Talk more about this Trojan horse."_

_There was silence while Gail pretended to consider it. "Okay. Holly?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_I'm sorry I left you in bed."_

_The smile lit up Holly's face. "It's okay. But if you do it again you won't be invited back."_

"_I definitely want to be invited back."_

_Even though they were slurred the words made Holly's heart swell and although she wanted to hear more, she wanted to make sure Gail would remember what she was saying. "Well if you're very lucky maybe you will. Now go to bed, Gail."_

Hearing from Gail was a huge relief, but clearly there was a lot on her mind that she needed to discuss. Holly also needed to remind Gail never to speak in metaphors again as she was shocking at it, but it just made Holly giggle to herself all the more. She couldn't wait to wind Gail up about it when she showed up. It was Sunday so Holly decided to work from home as there was no real reason to be at the lab on Sunday's, well when there was nothing pressing to attend to anyway. She knew Gail would be off shift at about 7.

Underneath it all though, Holly was concerned about how Gail was taking what had happened to her friends. She was worried about her as a friend first and foremost, a very good friend and that was before she even considered what all her other feelings were telling her.

They were driving her crazy, that's what they were doing.

Holly smiled, remembering the night before last curled up in bed around Gail. It was the most amazing night she'd had in a long time without there being any sex involved. It just felt right. Until she woke up alone with no sign that Gail had even been there, maybe she had pushed things too far, even though it was Gail who asked her to stay when they were standing toe to toe in her bedroom, that painstakingly cute look of vulnerability ghosting over her face as she dared to meet Holly's gaze.

Oh who was she kidding? Holly was in deep.

An abrupt knock on the door startled Holly and with slightly too quick a movement she was on her feet and at the door. If it was Gail she was early. It wasn't even 4pm. Holly leaned against the door. "Who's there?"

"It's me."

Holly opened the door and leaned against the jam, crossing her arms across her chest. She looked Gail up and down, she was still in her uniform. She looked a little nervous and apprehensive as she stood there like she was trying to look casual but was failing miserably at it. Regardless, she looked absolutely amazing just as she always did. Her hair pulled back and her eyes that stoic blue.

"Good afternoon, Officer," Holly grinned, her lips falling into that playful smirk like they did when she was trying to invoke a reaction.

Gail rolled her eyes and barged past her into the apartment. She hated feeling weak and this sort of helplessness she couldn't at all shake was doing her head in. Gail didn't like not having control and the rollercoaster of emotions she was on had to end. She had to do something about it.

Gail stopped in the middle of the room and Holly followed. "Come in," Holly continued.

It was the first time Gail took in what Holly was wearing. A pair of sweats that sat very low on her hips and a tight grey tee that barely covered her abs. Gail unabashedly raked her eyes up Holly's body making her swallow involuntarily. She suddenly felt hot.

Holly cleared her throat, loving the effect she seemed to have on this otherwise icy police officer when in actual fact it was Gail's uniform that was doing all kinds of things to her. Or more specifically the way that Gail wore it. She did that very, _very _well.

Gail tried not to blush but knew this was one Holly would have over her. The best of it was though, she didn't even care. She could have it. Holly's hair was loose around her shoulders and her glasses pushed high on her head. Gail loved her hair like that. She licked her lips and then shook her head, remembering quite quickly why she was there and not being able to afford to get distracted by thoughts of Holly's body. She would leave that for her dreams, too. Gail frowned and said the first thing that came into her head. "You're not dressed."

That wasn't what Holly was expecting. "You're three hours early."

Gail held Holly's gaze for just a moment too long and then threw her hands in the air. "I'm not this person."

There was a pause. "What?"

Gail sighed and looked to the ceiling. "This isn't me." And then she looked at the floor, anywhere but straight ahead.

Holly had no idea what was going on but for the umpteenth time in the last few weeks, she decided to give Gail a chance. She tried not to sound annoyed. "Then what is you, Gail?"

Her voice went small. "I'm mean, I'm angry, I'm difficult."

Holly nodded. "I know that."

Gail bit her words back and fidgeted where she stood. "I'm not good with words. I don't know what this, is. I don't know what's going to happen…"

The vulnerability was almost too much for Holly and she was over to her in an instant, reaching out for the side of Gail's face. "Hey…"

Gail immediately pulled out of the touch as soon as she felt it. She was panicking. "Don't." She swallowed heavily. "I'm not this person who.." she shook her head, praying for once she could find what she wanted to say. "..doesn't have control, who doesn't know what she's feeling. I don't know how to deal with it. I've never been here before."

Holly was taken aback; Gail was being honest. She thought maybe she should be careful what she wished for. She could see that Gail was really struggling, her chest was hitching erratically and her face displayed lines of worry. Holly needed to say something that would calm her down, perhaps rationalise Gail's thought process but she didn't want to crowd her. Of all the things Gail wasn't she certainly wasn't a good communicator, especially when it came to her own feelings so Holly took a few steps over to sit on one of the stools at her breakfast bar putting some distance between them. "And where is here, Gail?" Her heart felt like it was in her mouth.

"Here," Gail replied in a voice so tiny it barely came out. She gestured to the floor at her feet as if it was obvious. "Here, with you. It's different, with you, than with anyone else I've been with."

Holly's brow furrowed slightly. "Different how?"

Gail fidgeted some more. Her eyes stung and her chest felt deflated. She had never felt so anxious in her life; anxious to hold on to this, whatever it was without knowing how to. Anxious to not fuck it up like she had so many times before. Anxious to not let Holly down no matter what because the amount she cared about her was crazy but at the same time, this is exactly what she wanted to avoid.

She never wanted to have this conversation; she knew she would suck at it. She knew Holly would look at her all hurt and confused and like every word out of Gail's mouth was a blow to her gut. She didn't want to hurt Holly, that wasn't what she was trying to do. She was trying to explain how fragile she felt, so at a loss and drowning in the intensity of her own emotions but instead she was sounding like an idiot, and once again she had rejected the very woman she was falling for. Pushed her away so that now she was sitting across the room, slumped on a stool with her shoulders forwards, her beautiful face scrunched up in confusion. Or at least Gail thought it was confusion, but she didn't know. She even sucked at that. She had no idea what Holly was feeling and couldn't for the life of her gauge what was going on in that smart brain of hers.

She was probably upset though. So was Gail, but then that was totally all her own doing. Gail sighed heavily and rubbed her forehead with the side of her thumb. She cared about her, she wanted her, she didn't want to lose her. But how was she supposed to put all that into words? How did people even start to have these kinds of serious conversations? There was a voice in the back of her head telling her to run, to hit eject because this was all way too intense but she wasn't going to. Maybe she finally was growing up but as much as she was scared Gail Peck wanted this, more than she had wanted anything in a long time and there was one thing she kept coming back to.

_You're falling for her. This weird and totally smart, beautiful girl from forensics._

_You want her. _

She didn't want to, she had tried not to but it was hopeless. Maybe she should just take Traci's advice and let herself be happy. Gail closed her eyes and put her hands on her hips, biting on her lower lip as she was encompassed by this overwhelming feeling of warmth as she let this revelation come to her.

She moved closer to Holly and rested her hands on Holly's thighs. She couldn't look at her though when she spoke, she wasn't that brave. "It's different because you make me feel things I haven't felt before." She chanced a glance up at Holly before she lowered her eyes once more. Holly was looking at her with compassion and Gail couldn't really deal with it.

"It's usually on my terms, things happen when I make them. I don't let anyone in, not really. I don't like people that close."

"You don't want me close?"

This time Gail met her eye. "You're already close, and that's what's scary. You've seen pieces of me I don't let anyone see," she paused, looking back down to her fingers that were grabbing the material of Holly's sweats, "and it terrifies me because I don't do vulnerable, or needy, or just," she shook her head, "thinking about you all day so I can't think about anything else." Gail's face took on its more familiar defiant resistance. "It's pathetic."

Holly went to say something but stopped, not quite sure how to react. She waited a moment and then couldn't stop the massive grin that followed. She wanted to laugh in that completely inappropriate way she sometimes found herself in when she was with Gail but managed not to. One thing was certain; if she and Gail did progress further life certainly wouldn't be boring. Gail had somehow placed her own 'Gail spin' on baring her soul and still ended up being amazingly cute come the end of it. She covered Gail's hands with her own, "It's not pathetic."

Gail was incredulous. "No?" She scoffed. "Then what would you call it?"

"Erm, normal, really. When you find someone you like so much."

Gail rolled her eyes and then immediately softened when she felt Holly's fingers link with hers. She looked at them, her stomach doing that flipping thing it usually did when they were this close. Gail licked her lips as her mouth suddenly felt dry. "It's hard for me, all this, but I just really, really don't want to fuck it up."

Holly promoted her hands to Gail's waist, or as much of Gail's waist as she could find through the thickness of her uniform jacket and pulled her closer so Gail was stood just inside her knees. Gail didn't resist but let her hands drop to her sides.

Holly's grin turned into a smirk. "You won't fuck it up."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're having this conversation even though you don't want to. You're bothered-"

"-I want you to know the kind of person I am."

"I know the kind of person you are, Gail." She thought she'd be brave, seeing as how Gail was being nothing but. "And I really, really, really like you."

Gail felt something move through her, a shudder maybe, or like there had been a tremor somewhere and the aftershock was staying with her. It was intense, whatever it was.

"You're not going to scare me off," Holly continued, "I know how to handle you, I hope." Holly shrugged. "You know, I'm scared too."

Gail's ears pricked up at that.

Holly tried to squeeze Gail's hips through the thickness of her jacket. "I wasn't expecting this, I wasn't expecting to find you." She traced Gail's hairline with her fingertips. "But I'm glad I did."

Gail's hands were back in Holly's lap, now absently playing with the hem of Holly's t-shirt. Gail still had frown lines, her eyes ghosting over Holly's scantily clad torso. "Aren't you cold?"

Holly licked her lips and smiled. Gail was so good at deflecting. She wondered if Gail's brain really did splinter off at such tangents or if she had to search specifically for such random things to say. Holly raised her eyebrows as she ran her one hand up the front of Gail's jacket and rested it on the fur of her collar. "Aren't you warm?"

Gail just sort of pouted; the comfort she found in this sort of loose embrace with Holly continually surprised her. It reminded her of waking up in Holly's arms the other morning and then she remembered her drunken phone call. She wondered if she would have to ask before Holly let her into her bed like that again.

"I never thanked you, for how you looked after to me the other night." Gail met Holly's eyes. "Thank you."

Holly really didn't need thanking but welcomed it all the same. This soft side of Gail was amazing and she knew she was lucky to get to see it. "It was my pleasure."

It made Gail think of something else and she stood firmer, gripping Holly's t-shirt a little harder. "You've been great with me. I know I'm not easy-"

Holly couldn't help but make a noise in the back of her throat. It was out before she could stop it. _Understatement, much?_ "Sorry," she muttered.

Gail's eyes grew darker but she let it pass. Strangely, she didn't mind Holly mocking her. "..and I know you're being patient, even though you _really_ want to take things further-"

"Oh I do?"

Gail stopped and scrunched up her brow. "Uh, yeh."

Holly couldn't stop her laugh, sometimes she envied Gail's ability to just come out with it like she was immune to any impending awkwardness. Or maybe she just didn't think that far ahead. Holly however, knew exactly how to respond. "Like I haven't seen you undress me with your eyes, Peck."

"Oh we've already done it."

Holly thought she was hearing things. Her eyes grew wider.

Gail was nodding. "In my head. Twice."

Holly laughed, deep in her gut. She leaned forward slightly making her hair follow suit and braced herself on Gail's forearms. Gail was happy she was able to lighten the mood, and she really loved making Holly laugh although why her last comment caused such a reaction she wasn't quite sure. She waited for Holly to have her moment and smiled brightly when Holly finally looked at her.

"And how did that work out for you?" Holly asked.

Gail thought about it. "You were great and I sucked."

Holly laughed again, her right hand coming up to rest on Gail's shoulder. _This girl_ she thought, _is absolutely amazing_. She tried to curb it quicker this time and when she spoke her voice had a higher pitch, her stomach twitching a little as her mirth wore off. "Gail, I'm sure you won't suck." She wiped the corner of her eye with her thumb. "Besides, you strike me as a quick study."

Gail tilted her head. "I do pick things up pretty quickly." She pushed Holly's hair back behind her ears and let her fingers linger at the nape of Holly's neck. She moistened her lips involuntarily and traced the edge of Holly's t-shirt where it lay on her chest haphazardly. Holly was suddenly quiet, just the sound of her breaths as her chest rose and fell under Gail's hands. Gail dropped them back to Holly's waist and she clenched the material once more, pulling Holly closer to her.

Holly fell into the kiss, her neck craned upwards as her fingers bared down on Gail's shoulders, her one hand sliding around and up into Gail's hair. Holly massaged the back of Gail's neck, her lips moving rhythmically against Gail's as she tasted her, familiarity washing over them both. Gail parted her lips and she invited Holly inside, the electricity sparking between them as Holly's tongue flicked against hers.

Gail heard Holly moan, it was hypnotic. She stepped further into Holly so there was no space between them and her breaths became heavy, her lips more demanding as Holly's hands pulled a bit harder at her jacket. She felt Holly's thighs tighten on her hips and she felt an intense fluttering in her stomach that spread up into her chest, her desire heightening by the second.

Gail thought her heart might beat out of her chest she was so turned on. When their lips parted she could hear how out of breath Holly was and it was obvious she was experiencing the same high. Holly rested her forehead against Gail's and she tried to bring herself under control, she tingled all over and all she wanted was to take Gail to bed, to feel her body pressed against hers and to actually know what she tasted like.

"So," Holly exhaled, rubbing the palm of her hand slowly along Gail's collar. "Have you got to be somewhere, seeing as you're still in uniform?"

Gail's eyes had turned a very deep shade of blue. "I've got time," she whispered.

Holly pulled back a little and looked up at her, her eyes then falling to that ridiculously thick jacket.

Gail's lips fell into a satisfied smirk. "I know you've been thinking about stripping me out of this uniform."

Holly's throat went painfully dry and a shudder ran down her spine. "At least a hundred times," she husked.

Gail waited for Holly to look at her and then she pinned her with her eyes. "Show me."

Holly felt Gail's words thunder through her and the result settled between her legs. She couldn't remember the last time she was this turned on nor could she believe this moment was actually here; Gail stood in front of her telling her to undress her. Holly's hands started moving and they found the zipper of Gail's jacket, pulling it downwards until it came open, her hands then running back up to Gail's shoulders to rid her of the bulky item, it falling to the floor with a heavy thump.

Holly looked at Gail and a wicked glint featured in her expression. She took Gail's hand and lead her to the bedroom, set on making it a night Gail would never forget.

* * *

_Okay, this is the first thing I've done in ages and certainly my first Rookie Blue fic. Feedback very welcome :) thanks._


	2. Chapter 2: prequel

_First off, thanks everyone for the amazing comments! I am so happy you all enjoyed reading it and for those who took the time to leave feedback well, what can I say, you're awesome :)_

_So I decided to continue it as that's what everyone seemed to want and yes, it does seem to be a trait of mine to leave it just before it gets to the good bit (sorry) but then, I am kinda known for my intimate scenes, or at least I was, and usually they are quite intimate so, be warned... However they are a bit of a craft, if you know what I mean so I thought while I get busy with that I would tease you all further with this._

_A prequel. _

* * *

Gail stared out in front of her, her eyes unflinching. She felt cold. Numb. Empty, almost. She couldn't hear anything, and nothing really came into her head. She was blank.

Maybe it was pure exhaustion, her brain refusing to work much like the sensation of the body shutting down when it finally gets the chance to rest. Gail was resting now, a zillion lights zipping past her as she sat in the passenger seat of Holly's car, the darkness outside an inviting void to get lost in.

Gail was feeling hollow. Her friends could have died; they still might. They may not have found Oliver in time, they could've been too late, just like they could've been too late to find her last year. The thought chilled her and she shuddered. Gail pushed her head back onto the headrest and closed her eyes. They stung from the soreness of her tears and it made her wince.

The car stopped at some traffic lights and she felt Holly's hand reach her thigh and all of a sudden she felt a splinter of warmth, some familiarity, a tiny sensation that made her feel better. It started in her thigh and moved its way up through her stomach and into her chest and if Gail wasn't feeling so despondent, she would've berated herself for being so sentimental. But she needed it, so she allowed it and felt an ice-block somewhere inside crack and start to melt.

"Where do you want to go?" Holly asked, her fingers caressing the same spot on Gail's leg.

Gail opened her eyes and stared out the windscreen. "Anywhere," she said immediately not thinking about it, her face expressionless.

Holly sighed as her heart went out to her. She felt for Gail, could pretty much taste her hopelessness and she felt her entire being physically ache for her. She wanted to help but she wasn't completely sure how to, she felt a little useless and Holly wasn't used to that. All she wanted to do was wrap Gail up in a big protective embrace and never let her go, and she hoped Gail would let her. God how she wanted to kiss all the pain away.

As if she somehow heard Gail moved her head to the right to look at Holly. "Can I come to yours?" she asked, her voice pushed out in a whisper. "Please?"

The lights changed to green so Holly pulled off slowly, smiling as she felt Gail's eyes remain on her. She turned to pay attention to the road. "Sure," Holly replied, "we're about twenty minutes away."

The smallest of smiles touched Gail's lips as she was struck by a sense of belonging. She immediately missed Holly's hand when she took it back for driving, much like she missed it when she stood up at the hospital and it fell from her grasp. It was ever since she grabbed Holly in the interrogation room and experienced being pressed up against her, her hands cupping Holly's face and Holly clutching her biceps. It was like suddenly she was drawn to her, magnetized. Like if she could, she just had to touch her. Gail watched Holly drive; the simple and repetitious movements helping to calm her nerves. Holly was so graceful, not clumsy or awkward like Gail could be. Gail really wanted to hold her hand again, she needed to.

She didn't reach out though. Although she had jumped on Holly as soon as she'd arrived at the hospital earlier and clung to her for dear life, she wasn't ready for another such display of vulnerability. Not just yet.

She would wait.

* * *

Holly lead Gail into her apartment. The rest of their journey had been quiet and so was the ride up in the elevator. Holly made sure her hand was firmly in Gail's though; grabbing it as soon as they got out of the car and sliding their fingers together intuitively. Gail didn't seem to want to let it go, even once they were inside. She trailed after Holly, her eyes becoming wide as she took in her new surroundings trying to pick things out in the dark.

For a moment they just stood there, hand in hand in the centre of Holly's living room with about two feet between them. Gail seemed to be like some kind of lost child, like one of the lost boys from Peter Pan. Gail's curiosity was clearly peaked and even with her bleary eyes she scanned the room intently, pivoting where she stood to try and gather as much information as she could, all the while gripping Holly's hand as if it were her anchor, keeping her tethered to this moment just in case she were in danger of floating away.

Holly regarded her with concern. In the dim light Gail was even paler than usual, her skin pasty and her eyes, when Holly was able to catch a glimpse of them, were distant with the trauma of trying to get past it all. To try and forget. Holly smiled sadly and looked at the floor, pushing her toe into it as she let Gail have her ten minute examination.

Holly knew Gail needed protecting tonight; that she needed wrapping up and never letting go of but she wondered if Gail would let herself be taken care of like that. Holly knew that Gail hardly ever let her walls down, that this side of herself she was exposing was such a rarity that it meant she was trusting Holly with so much just by being stood here with her, like this. Gail's thumb was running along Holly's knuckle steadily and strangely, perhaps because of the guarded person Gail was the small and intimate gesture made Holly feel more needed than had felt in a very long time.

Holly squeezed Gail's hand and then broke the contact, walking to the light switch to give them some illumination. The apartment was open plan, the front door leading to one vast room that acted as a living room, a large sofa separating the kitchen that was at the opposite end and then a corridor to the side which housed the rest of the rooms.

Holly leaned on the wall as Gail carried on studying the open space now that she was aided by light. Holly took off her jacket and placed it on a nearby armchair. She walked back over to Gail, "Is there anything you'd like? Drink, food, sleep. Oxy trip?" Holly wasn't quite sure what the response would be but thought humour was the place to go.

"You have millions of books," Gail answered quietly, without any indication she'd even heard the question. She moved over to one of Holly's bookcases and ran her finger across a shelf, scanning some of the titles on there without recognizing a single one. Not that she was surprised, they were all sciencey. Nerdy.

Clearly a distraction was the answer. Holly grinned as she took her glasses off and dropped them to the coffee table. "Yeah," she said as she went over to the kitchen, expecting some sort of impending nerd remark. She opened up one of her cupboards and reached out two oversized mugs. "Make yourself at home," she started, extremely happy that Gail was here. It made her feel content that the person she cared this crazy amount about was there, looking at her things, wanting to know more about her. Maybe it was just the police instinct but Holly chose to think it was something more. She tried not to let the smile take over her face. "You won't find much fleece, or a single backpack."

Gail chuckled and it lit up her face. It made her realize she hadn't smiled in what felt like ages but then she immediately felt guilty. Sam and Chloe were in hospital, Andy and Dov weren't smiling and they probably wouldn't be for quite a while so why should she be allowed to? A heaviness hovered over her again so she took a deep breath and looked at the floor. She breathed it out slowly to try and keep a level head, not wanting to get overwhelmed by it all again like before Holly showed up at the hospital.

She took off her uniform jacket and dumped it on the same armchair Holly used for hers and followed swiftly with her Kevlar vest. All of a sudden she couldn't think of anything other than being out of her uniform. After wearing it proudly all day like she always did she wanted to be away from it as soon as possible. She wanted out of the clothes and out of the memories as fast as her hands could make it happen.

Holly stopped what she was doing when she heard the ripping of Velcro. She set the bottle she had rooted out from the cupboard on top of the counter and moved back into the living area. "Gail?" she asked gently.

Gail stopped moving her hands but she couldn't stop the rate at which she was breathing. She hadn't realised it but her chest was heaving dramatically and she didn't seem to have any control over it, like a lot of things, recently. She felt a soft hand on her shoulder.

"Gail."

Gail slowly turned to her and for the first time since stepping foot inside Holly's place she looked her in the eye.

Holly's brow was furrowed and she looked worried. She saw the emotion flood Gail's eyes and immediately pulled her into a fierce hug.

Gail didn't want to break down and it took all of her effort not to. She couldn't, not like this. She was still a little too proud and certainly didn't want Holly to see her in such a mess. Instead she just clung to her like before, her fingers digging into Holly's shirt at her shoulders and her head tucked in close at her neck. Gail's body wracked with silent sobs and Holly just held her close, not letting an inch of air come between them. She whispered comforting words into Gail's ear and rubbed her hands across and up Gail's back, wanting for all she was worth to be able to take this pain away. Holly knew Gail had experienced more than most people would in a lifetime and she hoped at least in some small part that she could help her come through it, if only through gentle touches, chaste kisses and whispered nothings.

Holly pulled back and placed her hands on either side of Gail's face, cupping her gently and rubbing her thumbs along Gail's cheekbones. "Gail, tell me what you need."

Gail looked more fragile than Holly had ever seen her. Her cheeks were red, her forehead contorted and she was holding onto Holly's waist with grim determination. The moment lasted for an age before Gail finally spoke. "I need you."

Holly's heart melted. It felt like an electric shock had left her through the rubber in her shoes and what remained was the trail, a blazing route from her heart to her toes that just wouldn't stop tingling. She drew Gail near and pressed their lips together in a slow and tender kiss. It was neither demanding nor was it fueled with desire; it was an affirmation and a promise that Holly would be whatever Gail needed, especially on this night.

When she pulled away Gail shuddered. She was always surprised by the softness of Holly's lips and this, the third time they kissed was no different. Everything about Holly was like velvet, smooth and soft and gentle and right then it was all Gail needed. She didn't need the kiss to be heated, she wasn't sure how she'd process it if it was. Somehow Holly was completely in tune with her and she always knew exactly what to do.

Their first kiss in the cloakroom was to combat Gail's snarky comment, to knock her off guard and that's precisely what it did. It left Gail's head spinning and her tongue tied in knots. The second kiss in the interrogation room Holly let Gail set the pace, kissing her back with just the right amount of intensity so not to take it too far but to tempt Gail into what more it could become and then now, when it was all about comfort and compassion.

Gail wondered whether Holly would know when to kiss her with such ferocity that it would all be about desire and raw need. Sometimes Gail needed that, maybe a little too much. She didn't always know when she would need it and usually it was up to her to initiate things with her ex's or indeed her random one night stands, but wondering if Holly would be able to gauge that in her made Gail's stomach do several somersaults and she felt a jolt right to her gut. She swallowed involuntarily; she knew that moment more than likely wasn't now, but she couldn't help the places her mind went to when she thought about Holly this way.

"Go to my bedroom." Holly instructed.

Gail felt another jolt go somewhere a bit lower. "What?"

"Down the hall, first door on the right." Holly pulled away from Gail so she could look at her properly. "In my top drawer I have some sweats and some tee's." She squeezed Gail's hands. "Go help yourself, I want you to be comfortable if you want to change out of those."

Gail remembered her actions that had lead them to where they were. "Oh," she replied, uncertain if she was relieved or not. "Thanks," and then she smiled as she headed for Holly's room. Holly was definitely more gentlemanly than any guy Gail had dated in the past. She didn't assume anything and it only made Gail want her more.

* * *

"How many degrees do you have?"

Gail was back to investigating Holly's shelves dressed freshly in a pair of Holly's shorts and a loose white t-shirt. She progressed quickly from the books and medical journals and was standing over her desk. It was stacked high with files and paperwork, an open laptop, pencils scattered all over and various knick knacks acting as paperweights. She decided not to comment on the flying pixilated spaceship that was Holly's screensaver.

Even though she was a complete nerd, Holly was quite easily the smartest person Gail knew and if it were anyone else Gail suspected she may feel a tiny bit self-conscious, but Holly wasn't full of herself with it. Even when Gail said something totally stupid, which she did a number of times Holly normally just smiled or said something sarcastic that Gail could easily brush off or come up with a counter-remark for. It was one of the many reasons Gail liked her.

"Two," Holly replied, walking back to the kitchen from her bedroom to resume whatever she was doing with those mugs. She had left Gail alone for a few minutes while she changed into something more comfortable as well and Gail supposed really, that should freak her out but it honestly didn't.

Gail pushed that revelation out of her mind as she found something at the back of Holly's desk and dug it out. "In something sciencey," she stated rather than asked already knowing the answer. She looked at the stethoscope in her hands and then hooked it around her neck, beating her fingertips on the chest piece.

Holly grinned as she poured hot liquid into each mug, her lips falling into her usual sideways smirk. "Yes something sciencey, and a medical degree."

Gail got comfy at one end of Holly's sofa. She sat with her feet under her and her knees close to her chest. She felt too tired for sleep, too tired for anything and the idea of being up for work at 7am was making her even more exhausted. She fiddled with the metal of her new toy, turning it over and over in her hands. It was helping to distract her, as was the conversation. Plus she loved finding out new things about Holly, although she'd never admit it. Gail frowned. "What was it like?"

"What was what like?"

"Studying for a medical degree?" Gail looked over at Holly and noticed her put a bottle back in a cupboard.

Holly picked up the two mugs and carried them over to the sofa, placing one on the coffee table in front of Gail and keeping the other in her hands in her lap. She got comfy. "Long. Just like the whole process of becoming a forensic pathologist." She brought the mug to her lips and blew into it, a distant look of reminiscence colouring her expression.

Gail looked at her. "How long?"

Holly tilted her head. "Including college, give or take fifteen years."

Gail couldn't stop her mouth from dropping open. _Fifteen years?! _Her mind screamed. _Fifteen years of study?_ Gail was shocked. Surely that was impossible. She felt another level of respect for this girl etch its way into her mind. _Wow._ "Fifteen years, really?"

Holly was laughing to herself. "Yeah. Well that's with the residency and the pathology fellowship."

Gail had no idea what that involved. She looked confused as she tried to get her head around a few things. "But, you're not that old."

Holly was glad she was yet to take a sip of her drink as it may have ended up being spat across the room. She figured that was probably some kind of weird Gail compliment. She chuckled, "I may have skipped a few years."

"Of med school?"

"Of high school. I had a head start."

"Oh." Gail looked back to the stethoscope in her hands. Maybe she should feel intimidated after all, Holly could be some kind of genius. She sighed heavily and went back to her fiddling.

Holly knew she needed to keep the conversation light. Gail was the sort of person who dwelled on things, Holly had gathered that from their last few weeks together. She nodded at the stethoscope. "That was the first thing I stole from med school."

Gail arched a brow, "The first thing?"

Holly bit her lip, her eyes cutting across the room to avert Gail's. "Uhm, the only thing."

Gail leaned her head back in the cushions and smiled. "Good. Think about me maybe having to arrest you the next time you decide to get nostalgic."

An image flashed in front of Holly, first of Gail brandishing handcuffs in her direction and then of Gail pushing her over the hood of a car, her legs eased apart by Gail's thigh and Holly's hands being pulled behind her back. The scenario lasted a split second but repeated itself in Holly's mind in glorious slow motion. She cleared her throat and found interest in the drink in her lap.

This really wasn't the time.

"Hey uhm," Holly stumbled, hey body enjoying the sensation that thought delivered. "Don't forget your drink."

Gail was oblivious. She was relaxed, almost lethargic. Comfortable in this room, on this sofa, and in the presence of her new favourite person. Holly was doing a good job, she was taking her mind off things and she was making Gail feel like someone was there for her. That someone cared enough about her to want to look after her, to make her this weird, thick looking drink that Gail could only assume was laced with something that would make her sleep. Otherwise why would Holly want her to drink it so bad?

Gail smiled to herself and flicked her eyes to the other end of the sofa, her only thought centering around why Holly was so far away from her. Surely she should be closer, Holly's hands touching her, or something. Gail's eyes settled on her; that thin vest really left nothing to the imagination but she looked really good. She always did and Gail's breath stuck in her throat. Holly ran her hand over the top of her head and tossed her hair sideways, almost as if she knew Gail was leering. Gail wished she wasn't so tired she would fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Being like this with Holly made her want to start something and she suspected that probably, that fact should freak her out too, but it didn't. It did make her wish she wasn't such a novice though, which did freak her out a little. Gail was good at sex. Great even, she'd never had any complaints and she didn't want not to be great for Holly.

Gail's brain hurt.

She shifted to her side so she was facing Holly more on the sofa, opening up the space between them. Gail decided to change the subject, she really didn't need anything else to be worrying about at this hour. "Are you really wearing Wonder Woman sleep pants?" she asked, amused.

Holly laughed and she leaned back, mirroring Gail's movement. "Yeah, you like them huh?" she replied, knowing that Gail more than likely had a whole entourage of remarks she could fire at her. That was the whole reason she'd put them on in the first place and was genuinely surprised Gail only just noticed. She must be really tired. "They're my favourites."

"They're nerdy." Gail grinned, and it was the first full grin Holly had seen from her all day. Gail's face seemed to magically relax and the worry and hurt somehow evaporated. Gail felt a little of her edge come back. "Do you _ever_ get laid when you wear them?"

Holly smirked. "I'll tell you in the morning." She leaned over and picked up Gail's mug from the coffee table. She held it out in front of Gail, "Here," she offered, "it'll go cold."

Gail took the stethoscope off and laid it on the table. "I'll take that as a no." She took the mug and stared into its depths at the dark brown liquid. It was a bit frothy. "It looks chocolaty."

Holly settled back to her side of the sofa. "I have no idea why you're not a detective."

Gail cut her eyes at her. "Just promise me you don't have a Star Trek uniform hanging in your wardrobe, because then we'd have to stop hanging out."

"I promise." Holly was glad she'd left that back at College.

Gail looked again at her mug and took a tentative sip from it. It was the smallest of tastes but the flavor flooded her senses and a burning sensation hit the back of her throat. She gasped and screwed up her face. "What's in it?"

"Bourbon."

Gail raised her eyebrows as the sharpness subsided and a satisfying heat spread through her chest. She had some more. "It's good."

Holly had a look on her face like she had achieved something, if only for a little while there was a happy Gail on her sofa. Or a happier Gail, at least. "So I've been told. It usually does the trick."

Holly was looking at her with that affectionate expression. Her presence reaching out across the gap between them and making Gail want to scoot closer and curl up in her arms. Holly's eyes said something like she had it all covered. That she would sit there with her for as long as Gail wanted, that she would talk to her about insignificant things until they were all talked out and that she would do whatever it took to cheer Gail up, whether that be wear geeky sleep pants or get her drunk on strange alcoholic concoctions. Gail felt so lucky and she considered for a second how many girls Holly had made this drink for in order for her to know it 'did the trick', and how many girls exactly she had been able to make feel this way.

She cast the jealousy out of her mind. Really, Gail had so many emotions floating around her she didn't need the green eyed monster jumping into the mix as well. After all, it was irrational. The only person Holly was here for, was her.

Picking up on the change in Gail's demeanor Holly moved closer, her mug getting demoted to the table. Her body wasn't quite within touching distance but was close enough for her to place an easy hand on Gail's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Gail felt Holly's hand squeeze and it was all it took. Gail leaned into her touch and she let Holly rub her shoulder and neck for a few comforting moments as her entire side lit up due to the proximity and Holly's soothing caress.

Holly took Gail's drink and deposited that too, then put her arm around Gail to pull her close. Gail didn't need any encouragement and she fell easily into the crook of Holly's neck, her arm snaking over Holly's stomach and grabbing onto her waist.

Holly held her close, running her hand up and down Gail's opposite shoulder. Her other hand resting on Gail's knee that Gail had pulled up and hooked over Holly's leg. The silence was easy and they sat there like that for a while, Gail's breathing becoming even and her fingers at Holly's waist teasing the skin just inside her vest. It sent a shiver through Holly's body and she tried not to react but it forced her to flinch ever so slightly and hold her breath. If Gail noticed she didn't do anything about it. Holly exhaled and tried to hold it together.

She looked back down to her hand on Gail's knee and it made her think. The only time she had seen Gail's legs before was at the wedding and she remembered thinking when they were sat in the cloakroom together that she wouldn't mind finding out what they felt like, but that was before she allowed herself to ponder such things so Holly just kissed her instead.

Holly smiled; who knew that action would lead them here. She kissed Gail's forehead as she felt her relax even further against her side, the exhaustion from the last few days finally catching up with her.

"Gail," Holly whispered, wanting Gail to be tucked up in her bed if she was going to fall asleep anywhere. All she heard back was a mumble. "Gail let me get you to bed."

Holly attempted to get up but Gail wasn't being very amicable. She finally managed to maneuver around her and then pulled her to her feet.

"Whu.. wher.. wuh?" Gail mumbled, her eyes barely open and her head slightly forward. She battled with herself to try and see what was going on but was fighting a losing battle. She was shattered.

Holly couldn't help her smile. Gail was absolutely adorable. She found it hard to believe the abrasive, hard to handle every day Gail could be this soft underneath. She loved it. "You're going to bed," Holly replied, leading Gail by the hands towards her bedroom.

Gail let herself be lead, trying not to bump into things as she went. When they got into the bedroom Gail was a little more compos mentis. She saw the bed, and then she saw Holly stood facing her, still holding her hands.

Holly caught the awkward look cross Gail's face and so she wriggled their hands, taking half a step closer so they were standing toe to toe. "Don't panic," she reassured her, "you're in here, I'm out there."

Gail frowned. "No, it's your bed."

"Yeah, so I decide who sleeps in it."

Gail forced herself to find Holly out in the dark. A small amount of light trickled in from the hallway but it barely lit the woman in front of her. Slowly as her eyes got used to it Holly came into focus and she was standing with her head tilted forwards, waiting patiently for Gail to get her bearings and decide what she was going to do. Gail knew she wasn't being herself, in fact she was hardly close to it. She didn't really do cuddles, and she certainly didn't do romantic ideas of falling asleep in someone's arms but oddly, that's all she could think of doing. "Stay with me?" she asked, refusing to think about it, her eyes falling closed once more.

Holly felt a lump form in her throat and it took her a moment to even realise before she swallowed to try and clear it. She felt her voice leave her as she spoke. "Okay," she whispered.

Holly rounded the bed and pulled back the sheets, waiting to make sure Gail wasn't going to change her mind before she got in. Gail didn't move for a minute, her head leaning towards the sounds of Holly readying the bed. After what felt like an age for Holly, Gail finally moved and went around to the other side. Holly climbed in, settling towards the middle and shuffling down to get comfy in the pillows. She watched Gail get in after her and she was suddenly struck with apprehension. Holly could hear her heart beating like a percussion in her ears and to make it worse she was sure she was trembling. _Smooth_, she thought, _very smooth_. Before Holly could lend anymore weight to her body's sudden reactions she felt the bed dip right next to her and Gail push into her side.

Holly was flat on her back with Gail's head resting on her shoulder, her arm across Holly's stomach and her hand on Holly's hip. Gail's leg then fell in between Holly's and honestly, Holly felt like she was burning up. Her mouth went dry and when Gail started moving her fingers lazily across Holly's hip bone she had to bite her lip to stop any moan that would've otherwise spilled out. "Gail…" Holly whispered, her hips ever so slightly arching up into the touch.

Gail sighed heavily and stirred a little, her hand moving up to Holly's side. Holly let out a steady breath not knowing if that was better or worse. She tried to look at Gail out of the corner of her eye and her face was peaceful in sleep, probably unaware of what she was doing. "…You're killing me."

Holly had no idea how she was going to get any sleep. There was a beautiful woman dozing in her arms, cuddled up in bed with her. A woman she cared for more than anything else on this planet and all she wanted to do was reach down and capture her lips, let her know how much she felt for her and force any thoughts of pain or sadness out of her mind for at least the next few hours. Holly was much better at words than Gail, more specifically stringing them together to form coherent sentences but sometimes not even Holly could clearly articulate how Gail made her feel.

Gail made Holly nervous, sometimes. She made her worry that everything she felt was completely one sided, even though she knew that it wasn't. Holly remembered the interrogation room, it was the perfect example. She had stuttered, and stammered, and Holly never stuttered and stammered. Only when placed in front of a gorgeous blond when she was trying to say how worried she was and how much she cared about her. Gail wasn't the easiest person to stand before and admit such things to. Gail was closed, impassive, apathetic, and that was on a good day. But she had broke a little bit, when Holly stared at her after asking about the gunman, willing Gail to give her some answers to put her mind at ease and she did. That was how Holly knew Gail cared just as much about her, because Gail cared that Holly cared, and then she sealed it with a kiss.

Gail took a sharp breath in and jumped awake, the whites of her eyes wide against the darkness of the room. She was panting for breath, her hand back on Holly's hip but this time it was grabbing at the material bunched up there. Holly raised up a little on her elbow and reached out to cup the side of Gail's face, her fingertips pressing lightly against her neck. "Hey," Holly soothed, trying to calm Gail's frantic jerks. She was obviously disorientated.

Gail instinctively flinched at Holly's touch, not aware she was with anyone until she heard her speak. One look at Holly calmed her down though, and her breathing suddenly became easier. Gail looked down and pushed into Holly's offered touch, closing her eyes as she felt the palm of Holly's hand against her skin. It helped.

Holly again was back to being worried. Did this mean Gail was having nightmares? How long had she been having them for? What was she doing about them? There were so many questions but Holly forced her wordiness back inside. That would keep for another day. Gail's blue eyes opened and looked at her, so heavy with sleep and so diluted with experiences she'd rather forget they practically pleaded with her.

"It's okay," Holly said with as much comfort as she could muster, "I'm here."

That seemed to do and Gail settled back against her. After a moment she pulled away as if suddenly she wasn't comfortable and went to turn over. Holly didn't want her to but she let her, knowing it was an inevitability. At the last moment Gail reached out for Holly's left arm and pulled her with her, holding Holly's captured arm tight against her chest as she snuggled back into Holly's body.

Holly's right arm was under Gail's neck and it stretched out in front of them across the mattress. Gail ran her hand up Holly's exposed forearm and left it there, her hand sprawled out and loose in Holly's grip.

Holly brought her knees up and tucked them behind Gail's, her body being that little bit longer making Gail fit neatly within her embrace. Holly sighed into the back of Gail's neck, her lips just inches away and her senses flooded with the scent of her hair, the scent of her skin. Holly couldn't help it; she reached up a little, just over Gail's shoulder and lightly pressed her lips to the dip where Gail's neck met her shoulder. She heard Gail's breathing get heavier which meant her heart was beating faster and when Holly kissed her again, just that little bit further up her neck Gail let out a moan that reverberated down Holly's spine.

Holly stopped and looked down at Gail who seemed to shift slightly to open up more of her neck for Holly to explore. Holly licked her lips as they had suddenly gone bone dry but she just stayed still, battling hard to douse the fire Gail's deep and sensual moan just ignited. Holly sighed heavily and tightened her hold on Gail's stomach, pulling her back to snuggle in tighter.

"Mm, don't..st.." Gail murmured languorously, but Holly knew she had to.

She pressed a final kiss to the back of Gail's neck and held her tight. "Go to sleep, Gail," she whispered in her ear, closing her eyes and settling back down into the pillows.

Holly wanted her so much her whole body burned with it, but Gail needed sleep. They both did; they had to be up in four hours.

She could wait.

* * *

_Feedback as always, is a great motivator!_


	3. Chapter 3: a crazy, wanting thing

_Okay, I know I've made you wait, apologies. But I am if nothing a tease, and it did just take me ages! I've not written anything like this in quite some time. Thanks again for all the great comments! I've replied to some, not all so apologies again for that. You're all incredible and very motivating. I did actually get sidelined by an idea for a further chapter which I just had to get down so that'll be coming later. Quite an emtional scene._

_Anyway I must issue a warning. If you DO NOT enjoy reading about two women getting it on then DO NOT go any further. That is all._

_It's A Crazy, Wanting Thing._

* * *

"Gail, answer it-"

"No!"

Gail dropped her lips back to Holly's neck and sucked the skin into her mouth, massaging over it with her tongue fervently, her hands getting lost under Holly's tee as she hungered to know what she felt like.

Her pulse raced, not being able to hear much of anything aside from her heart thundering in her ears, the adrenaline rush of Holly pushing her against the bedroom door as they'd entered and the feeling of Holly's lips moving against hers so eagerly was head spinning. Gail wasn't prepared for the bombardment of sensations that coursed through her as soon as Holly's body pressed up against her, Holly's leg pushing between hers and it just seemed to ignite a level of desire she didn't even know she possessed.

The journey to the bed had been a heated tangle of limbs as hands explored each other, moans went muffled into each other's mouths and clothes were pulled and tugged, buttons strained when they proved too time consuming to undo properly.

Gail had fallen to the bed first with Holly landing on top, her leg again pressing against Gail and the friction of clothes on clothes serving to heat them up with a level of frustration that demanded everything all at once.

Holly had managed to remove Gail's Kevlar vest with one swift motion at the door but her uniform shirt caused her more problems. All Holly could think about was getting Gail naked as quickly as possible, she had already wrapped her hand around the back of Gail's leg so it was hooked up over her hip, but all she could do with her other hand was pull at the shirt so it exposed her neck and collarbone, the sight of which drawing Holly's lips to that ever enticing dip where she placed her tongue and then nipped at the flesh, running her tongue up Gail's alabaster skin in a swiping motion until she pulled Gail's earlobe into her mouth.

It ripped through Gail like a thunderbolt and she moaned loudly, her body jumping involuntarily but that only excited her more, Holly's leg pushing further into her as her hips rose off the bed to meet it. Gail was breathing so heavily she couldn't even think; her hands roaming freely under Holly's top and over the expanse of her back and then her sides, and then her stomach, and then her sides, and then her breasts. The movements were quick, but it was helping. Gail didn't have time to think, she just reacted and as her hands got used to the curves of Holly's body they lingered over them more, venturing over her breasts more frequently and even taking an extra few moments so her thumbs loitered as they passed over Holly's nipples.

Holly moaned, and then sighed, taking a moment from devouring Gail's neck to process what Gail was doing to her. What she was feeling in her chest was stoking the sensations in her stomach and in turn igniting a raging inferno between her legs. She swallowed heavily before Gail pulled her back down into a smoldering kiss.

Gail needed control; she rolled them over taking Holly by surprise. Gail tried to pull her uniform shirt off but it took a moment, neither of them wanting to bother with the buttons so Holly reached up to help pull it over her head. Gail flung it into the corner and then looked down at Holly who was staring back up at her, drinking in Gail's bare skin across her stomach, her tight abs contracting in breathlessness and then her bra that was covering the rest of her. Holly licked her lips.

Gail wasn't sure if anyone had ever looked at her with such utter want and need before. She was used to guys ogling her, eyes that undressed her and then sized her up gauging her beauty but Holly's stare was different. It was something like adoration, a deep wanton need. They were busy with all the things she wanted to do to her and Holly's hands clenched at Gail's pants at her hips, trying to inch them down without losing the contact between them.

Gail groaned heavily, frustrated, her mind awash with what she imagined she should be doing and what her hands and legs actually were. She was kissing up Holly's neck, her tongue tasting her as her hand ran over Holly's torso. She loved the feel of her and she could feel Holly's chest heaving, her body writhing beneath her and she knew Holly was exceptionally turned on, which only filled Gail with more anticipation. Anticipation about what was going to happen, where exactly Gail was going to touch Holly and what exactly she was going to let her do with her tongue. It was like stars were shooting in her brain. She felt hot, so hot she couldn't be in her clothes anymore and she certainly didn't know why Holly was still in hers. Gail ran her hands up Holly's sides to pull her t-shirt up with them as they went.

Holly arched her back instinctively, her hands lost in Gail's hair. Her whole body was on edge and as she felt Gail's leg apply pressure between hers, her own legs falling further apart on instinct Gail rolled her hips and Holly grabbed Gail's face, pulling her into a searing kiss. She pushed her tongue into Gail's mouth and Gail sucked on it, accepting it fully and Holly knew this was it. No going back.

The vibrating happened again and Holly sighed into Gail's mouth. Then came the ringtone. Quiet but there nonetheless. It was the fourth time she'd heard it. She pulled her hand out that had found its way between their bodies and placed it on Gail's chest, pushing her back ever so slightly.

Gail's lips left hers reluctantly.

"Gail," Holly sighed, her breath shaky. "Just answer it."

Gail met Holly's eyes. Her heart was thumping, literally like she had never known it before. Something like a double bass drum. It was throbbing, penetrating. Gail's body was shaking and now she had a moment of pause she realised it. She tilted her forehead in and Holly met it with a kiss. Gail sighed loudly and rolled off Holly, reaching around desperately in her pants pocket for her phone.

Gail cursed herself. Why the hell was her phone in her pants? Why wasn't it in her jacket pocket? If it was in her jacket pocket then it would be out by the kitchen island, insulated by a wealth of heavy duty material. There it could vibrate away to its heart's content and no one would know the _fucking_ difference but no, she had to keep it in her pants so it could ring four times and interrupt this, of all _fucking_ moments.

Gail snapped the phone open as she sat over the side of the bed, "_What?_" she hissed, her hand running through her hair. _"This better be good!"_

Holly took in a few deep breaths trying to calm the rising inferno in her chest and more importantly, between her legs. She could feel her pulse everywhere and it was as if Gail's fingers left some kind of magical print all over her. It tingled and she felt numb and highly sensitized all at the same time. She closed her eyes. She could hear Gail saying something into her phone but she couldn't make any of it out. Holly honestly thought she might be on fire. She wanted Gail, she knew that ever since the wedding but all that had passed between them over the last few days made her want more than just a moment, as great of a moment as this was.

Holly tried to knock the thought out of her head. She didn't want to expect anything from Gail, she didn't want there to be any pressure. She wanted to be calm and collected, no intensity, not this early on. Holly snickered, not apart from the sexual intensity anyway. There was plenty of that.

Holly blew a breath out and shifted her head so she could see Gail and the curve of her back as she leaned on her knees facing away from her. She didn't want to but she couldn't help but think it; Gail was straight after all, wasn't she. Holly got up on her elbows and sighed. She shouldn't be thinking about this, especially now but then Holly had fucked straight girls before, she had dated them and it never usually ended well for her. Did she really want to go through it all again?

Holly felt the desire pulsate through her and she had to pull her eyes away. She had fantasized about this moment over and over, Gail here with her in her bed ready to let Holly do to her exactly what she wanted but, what would come next? Would she stick around for more or would she leave like she did the other morning? If she did stay, did that mean they were together, together ?

"Yeah, no, sorry. Yes, yeah, I was er, asleep. Yeah. Well, sort of."

Holly grumbled to herself with the inappropriateness of her thoughts and she shimmied out of her sweats with agitation, depositing them on the floor. Why was her brain choosing this moment to be such a girl? Why couldn't she just go with it, have this night and see where it went? _Because you have before and it got you nowhere_, she suspected. Plus it was difficult to just have fun when she cared as much as she did for Gail. Moodiness and all. She wanted all of her, and she wanted her for a very long time.

"It's great, of course it's great." Gail said with forced enthusiasm. "No, I'm really happy. Of course I am. That's great news. It's fantastic."

Gail was trying hard not to be so annoyed by the call. She forced her mind from five minutes ago and attempted to get in the moment. Chloe was awake. Of course she was happy, it was amazing news. Dov must be over the moon. What it meant for the husband though who knew, but for the moment it was fantastic. Gail managed a smile. "It's really great." She felt Holly press a kiss to her bare shoulder before she felt her get up and leave the bed. Gail turned her head just in time to see Holly leave the room. "Yeah, yeah, I'm at Holly's." She didn't know what to make of Holly leaving, maybe she thought Gail wanted privacy for the phone call. Gail frowned, she didn't need privacy for that. She wanted Holly to hear. Maybe it was something else.

"What?" Gail snapped her head back in front of her. "No. I mean…no. I don't know." Her brow creased. She hated questions about her and Holly. She closed her eyes and brought her fingers up to rub the furrow in her brow. "Yes," she sighed. "Yes I am." She rolled her eyes. "Again."

Gail listened to Traci finish her latest update from the hospital for another few minutes before the conversation came to a close. Gail was well aware she had been firmly in Hollyland for the last few nights but for Traci to pointedly remark about it made Gail worry. Was she really in so deep?

Was that a bad thing?

"Okay. Yeah." Gail hung up the phone. She put it on Holly's nightstand and stared at it. It fit there, like her body fit against Holly's ten minutes ago. She felt her blood start to boil again as she thought about it; her crotch bearing down on Holly's thigh and Holly's lips blazing down her throat, her fingers caressing her breasts through her bra. Gail shook her head; she felt hot.

She quickly got off the bed and stepped out of her pants almost tripping over them as she discarded them. She recovered barely before her knees hit the floor. She stood kicking them into the corner. Gail was about to go and find Holly when she went back over to her phone, switching it off just in case her brother called, or worse still her mother. As she left the room she picked up a sweater that was on the chair by the door. Gail wasn't the self-conscious type, but for some reason she picked it up and put it on feeling amazingly comforted by being in Holly's clothes.

Gail stood at the end of the hallway that lead into the living room and kitchen. She stopped as she observed Holly pottering around banging pots, as far as she could tell. She also observed Holly was no longer in her sweats, just her grey tee and panties and Gail couldn't stop her eyes from lingering.

When Holly didn't turn around to acknowledge her presence Gail shrugged, her hands out at her sides. "That was Traci."

"Oh yeah?" Holly replied, still without turning.

"Yeah. Chloe's awake, so Dov's ecstatic." Gail took a few steps toward the kitchen island, rubbing her fingers into her neck. "Sam's the same. Stable. So I guess that's good." She shrugged, again. "Or something." She placed the palms of her hands on the island top and stared into the back of Holly's head. Holly was being, odd.

Holly felt it, Gail was an arduous starer. Holly knew she was going to have to explain something but she so didn't want to sound so needy. She would laugh at herself, if the thought of Gail up and leaving again didn't cause her to hurt so much. She ceased her pottering at the fridge. "Is that all she had to say?"

Gail pulled a face. "It was the gist."

Holly turned round and leaned against the fridge. The door was cool at her back and it helped sooth her, a little. She immediately noticed Gail wearing her sweater and it warmed her so much a lazy smile touched her lips. Her chest all of a sudden felt funny and she could've died from the overwhelming sentimentality. Holly had to bite her lip and she chuckled, a little, at the way her heart lurched at such a simple action. Maybe it was the fact it was Gail after all, who was standing there like it was nothing special, like she had been walking out of Holly's bedroom and wearing her clothes for the past five years.

The sweater suited Gail and Holly liked it. It hung loosely from her shoulders but it really didn't matter. Gail's hair was also a bit of a mess and it immediately made Holly think that hers must be too, seeing as she was on the bottom just now. She ran a nervous hand through it.

Gail gestured behind her and kind of fidgeted. She wasn't sure what was going on. Her thumb pointed in the general direction of Holly's bedroom. "Are you.." but she came up short, not altogether sure if she should sound so eager or really, if she should be asking at all. If she had to ask, did that mean something was up? _Fuck it_, Gail thought, not at all familiar with how lesbians handled this type of situation. With guys there was no talking. "..coming back in?"

The confusion on Gail's face was endearing. Holly wrapped her arms around herself and approached the island, too. "Sure, of course but can we just, take a minute?"

Gail opened her mouth to say something but of course nothing came out. She had no words. She just nodded and tried to feign nonchalance. Then she shook her head, "Sure." She played with her hands on the counter top for a second, resting her whole weight on one leg as she quickly got nervous. Or more nervous than she was already. Was Holly like, having second thoughts? "Did I do something wrong?" She blurted, her face panicked. Then she got even more scared, a realization dawning on her. "Was it not good?"

Holly was round the side of the counter in an instant with her hands back on Gail's hips. "No, no. It was good. It was very good-"

"-Cuz I've seen The L-Word you know." Gail hurried, "I do kinda know what happens."

Holly paused and grinned, having to look away. Gail's serious expression at her last statement was resolute. "What, all of it?" Holly asked, raising a brow not quite believing The L-Word was one of Gail's must see shows.

Gail shrugged, "Some of series five."

Holly had that familiar amused expression. "When?"

Gail fidgeted. "The other week, maybe." Holly was nodding and Gail suspected she might've given away too much. Not that she ever felt abashed about anything.

Holly smirked, losing her hands in the material of her sweater across Gail's stomach. It was just like Gail to go and research something she didn't know. "Learn stuff, huh?"

Gail averted her eyes. "Maybe." She took half a step closer and rested her hand on Holly's hip. She was still nervous, still not knowing what was going on. All Gail wanted to do was kiss her. Holly was a great kisser…

Holly felt Gail move into her personal space and her whole body tingled. It made her sigh, deeply, her body's reactions betraying her. She balled her fists in the sweater.

"Holly what is it?" Gail whispered, the air between them suddenly electrified. It was odd how the simplest of touches could cause such heightened sensations. Gail didn't really understand it but she wasn't about to question it. It felt amazing. Her body was buzzing.

Holly sighed, the niggling doubt in the back of her mind just wasn't going away and as much as her entire being was screaming at her to just kiss Gail and take her back to bed, the sensible side of her wouldn't allow it. Holly closed her eyes and pulled Gail closer. "Gail," she breathed, swallowing heavily, her voice lowering several octaves. "I really, really want you."

When she opened them Gail was nodding at her with a, _'Well duh,'_ expression.

Holly tried not to smirk and worked to retain her focus. She exhaled slowly, so nervous about what she wanted to say next. "I just, I don't," Holly stammered. She hated it when she stammered. "I just, don't want you to be gone when I wake up in the morning." She felt scared, timid in the way that only Gail could make her feel. Her voice was quiet. "Not you know, after this."

Gail softened, her rigid frame becoming looser. She placed her hands on Holly's shoulders and for a moment she didn't know what to say. She didn't want to be that person, she didn't want Holly to always be worried about that but at the same time she knew herself. She knew full well what she was like. She knew at some point in the future, if she and Holly got serious there may well be some running, and Gail couldn't lie about that. Holly needed to know exactly what she was getting into. The exact kind of emotional coward she was getting involved with. The drumming in her chest was back. Tenfold. "Holly, I," she sighed, and Holly looked at her. Those big brown eyes gazing at her with such promise. Gail had to look away, her tears working against her. She had to hold them back. "I don't want to be that person," she said quietly. "But, I don't know if I can promise I won't run."

Holly flinched and went to back away but Gail held her firmly in place.

"But I do promise, if you don't give up on me I'll never go far, and I'll always come back."

That wasn't an answer. A hint of disdain washed over Holly's face. "You can't just keep running, Gail-"

"-I know, and in the morning I don't want to be anywhere other than in there," Gail gestured again to the bedroom, "with you." A tightness clamped in her throat and it made her breath shaky. Her voice was wobbly and it made Gail feel weak. She hated feeling weak. It made her frustrated. "But I don't want to lie to you. I can't promise that I won't get scared, or nervous and when I don't know how to deal with things I just run, sometimes." Gail's voice was pitchy and she started to panic, not convinced this was the right way to go at all. Holly didn't look happy and this was the last thing Gail wanted. "But it doesn't mean I don't want this," she whispered, forcing herself to be honest, desperately trying to stop the tears from falling. Gail felt the self pity in waves. "It doesn't mean I don't want you." She cupped Holly's face. "I want you more than anything, I just need you to understand. I really am trying to be better, at this."

Holly just looked at her. Her tongue poking out to run across her lips. If she had her glasses on she would have shifted her weight, brought her hand up to touch them with nervousness and agitation. She had taken them off though and so she had nothing. She felt exposed as Gail just stared at her and for the life of her she just didn't know what to say.

Gail removed her hands from Holly's shoulders, taking half a step back. She hoped to God she hadn't messed it all up. "I remember our phone call, you know," she began, trying something different. "The other night. I remember what you said to me."

Holly raised an eyebrow. A glimmer of hope perhaps as Gail seemed to desperately try and paper over this crack.

"I don't want you not to invite me back."

There was silence while Holly seemed to consider what she was saying. Gail thought maybe she wasn't being clear. "To your bed."

"I know where you mean, Gail."

Gail felt her insides plummet, her heart rattled around her chest violently. She was on edge. Her body still tingled from arousal however severely doused it was by her lame explanations. Everything had gone wrong and Gail just wanted Holly back. She wanted her to touch her again, to kiss her, so Gail could fit snuggly back into that new place where she belonged. With this girl. "I just can't tell you that I won't ever run. Because I do. That's what I do sometimes," she shrugged. "And I can't promise that I won't run from you if I can't deal with my feelings, about us," she swallowed, "because they petrify me now."

Gail figured she had to make a choice. Give Holly that piece of reassurance she needed or let her down and probably never have her trust her again and really, how hard was it? All Holly was demanding was for Gail to be there tomorrow, without her cold feet making her leave. To wake up side by side after a night of passion and honestly, where else would Gail rather be ? _Nowhere, you fucking idiot._

Gail grabbed Holly's face and pulled her close making sure she looked directly into her eyes. "But Holly," she took a second, composing herself, "I want you too. More than I know how to tell you. I need you, and I don't ever want to be anywhere other than in your bed, for as long as you want me in it."

Holly was overwhelmed and it hit her like a shockwave, spreading from her chest right through to her toes. She felt like she could melt. Gail's eyes were serious and Holly could feel her hands trembling as they held her. Holly was certain if Gail never said another kind word to her she could live on that statement for years. It was raw and suddenly Holly was thankful for the whole conversation. Holly's hands tightened on Gail's hips and she pulled them flush with her own, her one hand wrapping its way round and resting at the small of Gail's back. Holly massaged her fingers into her skin.

Gail's eyes hadn't left her. She felt it all bubbling up inside, all the emotions she never let herself feel and all the anxiousness about giving herself to someone, letting someone in that much and trusting them with absolutely everything, it all felt like it was on the verge of breaking down. Gail's chest jerked and her breath hitched as some kind of fog lifted and she realised that maybe, this was what life was really all about. What Chloe banged on about and what Andy was forever in search of. That thing that normal girls dreamed about, and she saw it all in Holly's eyes.

"_Now just fucking kiss me_," Gail whispered, her tone heavy with lust.

It was like an explosion. Holly pushed her lips against Gail's with such force she pinned her against the kitchen island, Gail's arms wrapping around her neck and Holly's hands up under Gail's sweater. Her fingers sought out every inch, retracing their movements from earlier in the bedroom but this time with even more ferocity, even more desire. Even more need. Holly felt it between her legs as Gail moaned into her mouth, their tongues dueling in a frantic race for contact.

Holly stepped into Gail so her thigh was between her legs and she felt Gail immediately grind down on it, so Holly leaned in more, the only material between them the thinness of their underwear. It hardly made a difference, Holly could feel how wet Gail was regardless and it made her head spin. Her hands ran over Gail's breasts and she squeezed them, eliciting a gasp from Gail's lips and then she teased her nipples through her bra, suddenly needing every item of clothing off of her.

The sweater was off in a split second and Holly flicked Gail's bra open in a single movement, discarding it in the same direction as the sweater. Gail felt Holly's lips on her nipple and she gasped involuntarily, Holly's tongue swirling around the hardened tip and then her teeth grazing over it, teasing it slowly as her forefinger and thumb did the same to the other.

Gail was glued to the spot, unable to move, almost unable to breath. Her hands were braced against the island top to steady herself, her chest moving uncontrollably and her legs she was certain ready to give out. She felt the moisture between them, now on Holly's thigh as it moved against her and more importantly the heat against her own leg from Holly. Gail's thigh was flat against Holly and when she flexed it Holly's moan echoed through the room.

Gail went to grab her, Holly's lips moving back to her neck and then possessing her lips heatedly. Gail hooked her thumb in Holly's underwear at her hip and lost her other hand at her back. It ran up her spine and then gripped at her shoulder. Gail quickly tugged at Holly's tee, wanting it off immediately and Holly complied, lifting it off and throwing it across the room. Gail drank her in, her lips parting and her head so clouded she couldn't process thought. The feelings were overwhelming her, Gail knew she wanted Holly's bra off; she wanted her naked and she wanted her on top of her but her limbs wouldn't move. Holly carried on taking the lead, she removed her bra and dropped it to the floor.

Gail's eyes were the darkest blue Holly had ever seen them. They pleaded with her, lidded heavily with desire but she was suddenly like a rabbit in headlights. It wasn't uncertainty, not even fear, just the knowledge of inexperience. Holly was standing all but naked in front of her and suddenly Gail was scared to touch her. She was so beautiful, like some kind of painting before her. Holly was breathing heavily, her lips parted with the force of her breath and her fingers grazed lightly up Gail's sides as this moment was drawn out.

Holly moved her hands to cup Gail at either side of her face, their bodies leaning against each other. The intoxicating sensation of skin against skin, of this amount of emotion coursing through both of them. It was exhilarating. Holly looked deep into Gail's eyes. "Are you okay?" she whispered, her lips mere centimeters from Gail's.

Gail just gave in. She surrendered, her walls physically crashing down and what's more she welcomed it. She decided there and then she would never feel more alive than she did in this moment. She held Holly's gaze, her hands resting at Holly's lower back holding her closer. She nodded wildly, "Yes," she breathed, then kissed her gently and when she spoke again it was into Holly's mouth, "I want you to touch me."

Holly felt the flood between her legs and was certain Gail must've too, the words resounding through her. Holly kissed her hard and lifted her on to the kitchen island, Gail helping as she pulled herself backwards and then lay herself down, Holly's body hovering over hers as she settled between Gail's legs, pulling her underwear off first so at last Gail was completely naked. Holly leaned over to place several hot kisses to Gail's stomach, inching her way down as much as her position would let her, appreciating every millimeter of Gail's beautiful, flawless skin. She lay most of her weight against Gail's one thigh pressing it flush against the counter, her elbow resting further up next to Gail's side. She ran her free hand over Gail's hip and Gail arched upwards into the touch, her shoulders bracing at the top edge of the island.

Holly nipped on Gail's skin around her abdomen, her hand teasing the inside of Gail's other thigh as it fell aside easily, allowing Holly to feast her eyes on Gail's waiting pink flesh. Holly had to swallow the boulder that formed in her throat. She immediately wanted to taste her, it was like a magnetic pull. Holly was enchanted.

She edged a little further down the counter, savouring Gail's body as she went, trailing kisses across her hips and along the tops of her legs until she reached the junction in between, pausing a moment and not being able to help breathing out a tantalizing breath across Gail's clit, eliciting a sharp moan from Gail's lips. Holly flicked her eyes up to see Gail momentarily lift her head before dropping it back down, her arms stretching out at her sides.

Holly's lips closed around Gail's taught bundle of nerves and her body ignited. She shuddered as she heard Gail moan something incomprehensible, her hips rising to further the touch and Holly just sucked all the more, her tongue experimenting in its rhythm against Gail's clit and trailing down to her opening before returning to tease some more.

Gail felt her mind implode, she couldn't contain it. It was like something in her mind was making everything even more responsive, even more sensitive so when Holly touched her it felt like a series of explosions all at once. Her tongue was making Gail crazy, she'd never felt anything like it. Gentle yet all-consuming in equal measure. Her back arched, she moaned Holly's name, her fists clenched and unclenched. She felt Holly's tongue enter her, then run back and forth over her clit tantalizingly slowly and then quickly, and then she felt Holly's fingers enter and she thought she might die from it. Her eyelids flew open, the light blinding her, the sensation white-hot within her.

Holly got lost in Gail's body, in the way she reacted to her touch, in the noises she made, in her scent and in the way she tasted. She took her time, adamant on taking Gail all the way to the edge and then bringing her back several times before she let her cascade over. She devoured her with her mouth, drank her in, teased her until Gail couldn't take it anymore and then she did it again. Gail wriggled beneath her and Holly was certain a couple of times Gail begged but she couldn't be sure. She penetrated her deeply, stroking her intimately and she just couldn't get enough of the feeling of Gail clenching around her fingers, holding her in place as she thrust in and out, over and over, again and again, her tongue working overtime to match the pace over her clit.

Holly felt on fire. Her pulse literally thumped through her and the slick between her legs was distracting. She was so turned on there was no point trying to control it, she was all in this and she wanted to demolish Gail's world. She pushed her further, kissed her everywhere she could and discovered exactly where she like to be touched, making Gail cry out with her deep administrations.

Gail heard her voice get louder, attempting to say something several times but nothing was formulating properly. Holly's rhythm was shattering, her fingers incessant, exploring her intricately as she massaged her slick pulsating walls. The feeling almost tipped Gail over more than once but Holly was adept, bringing her back expertly before driving the sensations through her again, her fingers playing her wondrously. All Gail could do was grip around them inviting her deeper, her hips responding to Holly's pace as they moved fervidly against her hand.

Holly's lips tightened on Gail's clit pulling it into her mouth, her fingers still moving within her and when she curled them Gail gasped, feeling it so deep her heart rattled her ribcage. She breathed Holly's name into the room deliriously as she felt all the warm sensations gather deep in her gut, Holly's fingers moving quicker as she released her clit and breathed heavily on her, her tongue darting out and trailing over her. Holly knew she was making Gail wild and she was desperate for release. Gail had reached down and lost her hands in Holly's hair more times that she could remember and her grip was tighter each time. Holly could hear the strain in Gail's tone and she thrust one more time, reaching even deeper and curling her fingers against that spot that sent Gail's mind reeling. She screamed out and Holly lips sucked on her clit a final time and the sensation tripled.

Gail erupted as the feeling burst from her, racing through her chest to her mind and back to her gut and she clamped down on Holly's fingers, her insides convulsing and her whole body juddering as she went rigid, her back arching before she slumped back down to the counter top.

Holly felt it too and try as she might she just couldn't control her breathing. Her chest was heaving as she panted for breath. She felt Gail relax beneath her and she leaned up to plant a kiss at her navel, on her hip, against her ribs. She removed her hand slowly which earned the most delightful sound from Gail's lips, a most lethargic, sensual and arousing sound.

Holly smiled, placing chaste kisses against Gail's skin while she let her recover. She honestly felt so happy she couldn't quite place herself, not to mention she was so on fire she didn't know how to contain it. She moved up Gail's body, trailing kisses as she went, her one hand gently caressing Gail's hip as she leaned her weight completely on the other one just to Gail's side.

With every kiss Gail's body shook, still reeling in the after effects of what was completely and utterly the best sex she had ever experienced. Not that she would ever, _ever_ tell Holly that. She was having trouble letting herself believe it as she just lay there, her arms still out at her sides and hanging off the kitchen island. She felt Holly grin into her neck and Gail felt herself come back to reality, her mind still hanging somewhere up in space though, she was sure. She felt fuzzy, and she groaned audibly when Holly nipped at the side of her neck, her hands coming in to wrap around Holly's shoulders and get lost in her hair.

Holly had to move, the burning between her legs was killing her and she realised for the first time that this really wasn't the most comfortable place to be. She lifted herself off of Gail and lowered herself to the floor, her head spinning a little from the movement. As she went Gail grabbed her hand and the momentum pulled her up and she swung her legs over the side of the counter, facing Holly who stood there looking up at her, the soppiest of grins plastered on her face.

Gail sat there looking at her, her hands gripping the counter at either side of her. There was plenty of things she wanted to say, completely lost in this moment but she just didn't have the courage to articulate them. She smiled and looked away, not the slightest bit bothered she was completely naked, sat on Holly's kitchen counter of all places. What she did care about was how wonderful she felt, still a little timid, perhaps even a little scared still but she felt safe, like Holly would take care of her no matter what.

Holly was stood between Gail's legs, again, her hands resting on the sides of Gail's thighs. She angled her head upwards, offering her lips for Gail to kiss who needed to reach down in order to comply. Gail did and the kiss was slow and languid, an overwhelming sense of familiarity passing between them now they had been intimate with each other. Gail tightened her hold with her legs and held Holly's face in her hands. She felt herself respond again and it made her wonder how Holly must be feeling. Just as she considered it she felt Holly's hand on her breast and she gasped, breaking the kiss.

She couldn't believe the jolt it caused. "God," she murmured.

Holly smirked, "No, just me."

Gail swallowed, still holding Holly's face. She looked into her eyes and saw the level of desire swimming there, the absolute need she was sure Holly was trying to conceal for her sake. Just in case she wasn't ready.

Peck's were born ready. She pulled Holly's lips to hers again and then she lowered her hand, snaking it between their bodies and towards the juncture of Holly's legs.

Holly felt Gail's fingers graze just inside the waistband of her underwear and she started, the longing feeling in her stomach making itself known once more. She gasped, the back of Gail's hand running over her groin and then stopping just at the juncture, her fingertips lightly touching the very tops of her thighs.

Holly closed her eyes tightly, her head still tilted up, her lips barely a whisper away from Gail's. She was certain Gail was torturing her and she knew without doubt it wouldn't take her long at all, especially if Gail kept this up.

"Hol…" Gail breathed, her chest starting its fluttering again. She wanted to comment on how wet Holly felt, how she could feel the heat radiating from her through her underwear and onto her hand but she couldn't, the words escaped her.

Holly however knew exactly what she was thinking. "You turn me on," she husked, her voice as deep as Gail had ever heard it.

Gail was sure she felt the words rather than heard them and her eyes explored Holly's lustful expression. Her eyes closed, her lips parted and it made her want to hear Holly cry out her name. She turned her hand around and cupped Holly over her underwear and Holly immediately leaned forward, her moan lost into the expanse of room and her fingers dug themselves into the counter top.

Gail leaned into Holly's ear. "Let's go back to bed."

Holly looked at her and her lungs lost all their air. She licked her lips and then grabbed Gail's hand, pulling her off the counter into a desperate kiss before she lead her back towards the bedroom. "You going to show me this Trojan horse ?" she asked with a grin, turning to grab Gail's waist.

Gail smirked, her hands already beginning their exploration of Holly's body. She knew that conversation would come back to bite her on the ass eventually. She leaned in close, pushing Holly through the door and shutting it behind them. "Just you wait and see."

* * *

_Reviews very happily received :)  
_


	4. Chapter 4

_Right, here we go. Apologies for the absence of updates but I do hope to make it up by having this extra long installment for you. I have actually spent the last week working on this somewhere very sunny in front of the sea, and on the plane home there was so much turbulence all I could think was, OMG, what if chapter 4 never gets uploaded ?!_

_Bit sad that, huh? Haha!_

_Anyway I must apologise to my fellow British, I said this would be up Sunday night, it's now the tiny hours of Monday morning (sorry Jen!) but at least you'll enjoy it on the way to work (I hope). _

_And thanks all for the reviews (totally awesome, really) and constant follows and favourites I get – you all make me so happy :) __ and I must throw some appreciation at QuickLookBusy, you'll see why…_

_So here it is. I have no name for it so, just Chapter 4._

* * *

Holly stirred. She stretched and leveled out onto her back, her arm reaching out above her head as she rolled over from her side of the bed. Her eyes were still closed and she sighed heavily, her fingers flexing against the pillow as she attempted to rise into consciousness. She looked peaceful, her eyelids fluttering, her tongue poking out to moisten her lips. Her head lolled in Gail's general direction but she wasn't quite awake. Not yet.

Gail had been watching her for easily the last twenty minutes. She felt warm, content in a way she hadn't before, like she didn't even know was possible and she thought that maybe, this is what happiness really felt like.

She reached out a hand gently and hovered it over Holly's body, hesitant in making any contact. Gail didn't really want to wake her but she wanted to touch her and if she was really honest, Gail wanted to see her eyes. They were beautiful and she had thought so ever since Holly teased her in the cloak room those few months ago, looking at Gail with a hint of mischief before she leaned in and kissed her. Not that Gail admitted it to herself back then, of course. That would've been way too scary.

Gail moved her hand up so her index finger lightly traced the exposed side of Holly's forearm, inching it down from her wrist to her bicep, Gail's eyes firmly on Holly's face to observe her reaction.

Holly's fingers flexed first of all registering the touch and then her head turned a little more toward the sensation. Her body flinched a little, her eyelids fluttering before she made a lazy sound of recognition somewhere in the back of her throat.

Gail couldn't stop the smile eagerly spreading across her face. It was so cute. Gail hadn't stuck around for this last time and she mentally kicked herself for it before forcing the thought out of her mind.

When Holly awoke she was facing Gail, her arm now parallel at the side of her head with Gail's fingers resting on her shoulder, ceasing their journey any further. Holly took a sleepy breath in and focused on Gail who was still smiling brightly at her, looking as if she had been awake for hours.

"Morning," Holly said thickly, her body tensing in a slight stretch before she relaxed.

"Good morning," Gail replied, still smiling. She removed her hand from Holly's arm and put it with her other one between her head and the pillow. "You're very cute when you're sleeping."

Holly was still battling the effects of being half asleep and half awake so she wasn't equipped at all to deal with the fact that Gail was grinning at her like a maniac. More besides the _actual_ fact that Gail was _still_ in her bed after such an _amazing_ night of sex and who had just now admitted to watching her sleep for God only knew how long. If it was some kind of alternate reality, Holly wanted to live there.

Holly gave her a mock glare. "You've been watching me sleep?" she asked trying to stifle a yawn, "And how long for 'cuz, you know, that could be construed as being a little weird." Holly arched a little more this time and stretched properly before turning on her side so she was facing Gail, pretty much mirroring her position.

Gail thought about it. "How long would be acceptable?"

"No longer than five minutes." Holly moved to wrap her arms around her pillow, pulling it down so her chest was resting on it. She felt amazingly comfortable, wonderfully lazy and was completely enjoying this banter with Gail first thing in the morning. As she shifted she felt the sheet rub against her naked skin, only emphasizing the reality of Gail being there with her also completely naked, sort of wrapped in the sheet next to her. Watching her. Those frosty blue eyes examining her every movement except they weren't frosty, they were warm and inviting. Holly flicked her eyes over the sheet covering Gail's body; _Well she better still be naked, _she thought.

Gail's lips upturned into a smirk. "So is that how long you were watching me sleep for the other night, then?" Gail pulled up and leaned on her elbow, the palm of her hand against her cheek. "No longer than five minutes?"

Holly was caught. She laughed, pulling her legs up a little under the sheet so she was that bit closer to Gail. She honestly had no idea how long she watched Gail sleep for, all snuggled in her arms after the night at the hospital. It was probably hours but then a lot of it was spent trying to calm her mounting desire at being so close to this woman she wanted so badly. Holly raised an eyebrow, maybe that was Gail's point… ?

"You're too quick for me this early in the morning." Holly pouted, "It's not fair."

It made Gail smile, again. She flashed her eyes. "Well, I have to occupy myself with something while I'm waiting for you to wake up."

"And you do that by dreaming up smartass remarks?"

Gail looked satisfied with herself. "Of course."

Holly shifted onto her back, the sheet sliding down a little as she did so and the result caught Gail's eye.

"Well you could've woken me sooner, you know," Holly began, her tongue moistening her lips as she saw Gail's attention drop to the sheet.

"Huh?" Gail asked, momentarily distracted.

Holly grinned, shuffling closer. "Your tracing the contours of my body technique, again, while I'm sleeping." It was Gail's turn to look caught out. "Down my arm, I liked it," she teased, "but if you'd done it sooner, I could've kept you company."

Gail was totally at a loss. Her eyes met Holly's and she was stuck, certain her face had flushed as her skin prickled, a wave of pleasure flooding her senses. All Gail could do was swallow nervously, her pulse beating that little bit quicker.

It was odd but reliving that moment of intimacy and knowing Holly had been awake for it did something to her. Everything they had shared the night before registered and cascaded from her mind and tumbled through her body. Gail had had sex a million times before but she was rarely intimate, and certainly never even remotely _loving_, both of which were translated in that gentle touch while she thought Holly was sleeping. She felt warm in the most pleasurable of places. So content and Gail was certain she would struggle with her insecurities about this later on and worry inexplicably about all the possible ways this could end so badly, but right then all she wanted was for Holly to kiss her.

"I guess you just can't keep your hands off me, huh?" Holly continued, "Pretty much like last night?"

This time Gail really did blush and the only thing she could think to do was avert her eyes. She stared at the mattress with new found interest.

Gail could hear Holly's smirk. "Don't say I've stunned you into silence."

Gail frowned, not happy that Holly was winning their game but Gail was far too preoccupied by the reactions her body was having. She felt the moisture between her legs and the longing feeling in her stomach was back. How was Holly managing to do it, with just a few simple words and the sheet slipping ever lower down her body?

"Shut up," Gail sulked, she hoped for emphasis.

Holly slid down the pillows to try and peer under Gail's downturned expression. She was conscious she should try and give Gail back some semblance of control as she had lost it somewhere along the way, and Holly knew Gail wasn't particularly comfortable unless she at least had the illusion of control.

Holly linked her fingers with Gail's. "What time is it?" she asked softly, a genuine smile pulling on her lips.

"You fidget a lot in the morning, you know." Gail stated, out of nowhere.

Holly just waited, squeezing her hand that little bit tighter and patiently waiting for Gail to have her mope.

"A little after six."

Holly edged further into Gail's space. "You know," she whispered, "you've not even kissed me yet."

Gail smiled despite herself and it lit Holly up. Gail looked at her, her forehead crinkling as she refused to move her head even a millimeter. She had been thinking the exact same thing for ages. "Seeing as I'm the guest, I think you should be the one kissing me."

"Oh," Holly murmured, getting up from her position and lowering herself on top of Gail who laid down under her in response. "You're much more than just a guest."

Holly's hands were firmly planted at either side of Gail's head, her hair falling around them practically blanking out the rest of the room. "What time do you have work?" Holly whispered, her lips just a hairsbreadth away.

The sudden arrival of Holly's naked body sliding against hers was verging on euphoric. Gail gasped, her hands finding Holly's waist and sliding them around to her back, pulling her hips down as Holly lowered them onto her, her leg slipping between Gail's at the same time. The rushing feeling was intense, setting her body alight and Gail immediately spread her legs, letting Holly get as much contact as she could.

"Nine," Gail breathed, her eyes falling closed.

Holly's lips met hers and they moved painstakingly slowly, capturing Gail's lower lip between her teeth before she let it go and then she ran her tongue across it, making Gail reach up in order to claim her mouth properly, her own tongue practically begging for entry by-

"PECK!"

Gail slipped from the wall and had to catch herself at the last minute before her whole body hit the floor. The result ended in her lurching across the corridor and spinning around to come face to face with Frank who was glaring at her with a more than agitated expression.

"Why aren't you with Collins? I saw him head out to the cars twenty minutes ago."

"I'm just going there now, Sir," Gail hurried, embarrassed for the second time that morning she'd been caught remembering her last 24 hours with Holly. Her face flushed and she looked at the floor remorsefully, digging her phone into the top of her thigh as she clenched it in her hand. Damn Holly and her suggestive texts...

"Well get a move on! We have people out of action, Peck, which means everyone else has to pick up the slack. I expect you on your game which doesn't mean idling about in the corridor!"

"Yessir." Gail acknowledged, the words rushing out and she immediately felt bad for thinking about sex at a time like this. She pocketed her phone and turned on her heel, rushing down the corridor to go and find Nick. He was the last person she wanted to be partnered with today but then life tended to suck like that where Gail was concerned. As if she wanted to spend an eleven hour shift with his face when all she had on her mind was Holly's. Those eyes and those lips...

Gail had to shake it out of her head. She was never going to make it through the day like this, it wasn't even 10am. She took a deep breath and went out into the yard, praying to God Nick wasn't going to piss her off. She didn't want any questions or innuendo, and she certainly didn't want any talk about Andy. In fact she wanted silence, silence would be good, and a constant stream of calls to keep them occupied so she wouldn't have to focus much on him and what he could possibly say to her. Nor did she want to run the risk of reliving last night while sat in the squad car beside him because that would just be plain weird. Not that she hadn't enjoyed Nick once upon a time but there was just something different in the way that Holly touched her, in the way that she would run her hand through her hair for example, or in the way she would kiss her. Last night Holly had worshipped her body, devoured her with her lips and set a fire that burned in her for hours. Her fingers knew exactly what they were doing and Holly's skin was like liquid silk against her, and then she had done it all over again this morning. Gail had no idea how to categorise it or how to explain it, it just made her feel absolutely amazing inside.

"You about ready, Gail?" Nick asked, turning from the car to see her standing just a few yards away, sort of staring into space.

And then she was back to reality. "Yeah," she grimaced, her mind being rudely pulled from her current to her ex, and it wasn't a pretty thing. She opened the passenger side door and got in as awkwardly as she could.

Nick got in and just sat with his hands on the wheel for a few seconds and Gail got that sinking feeling in her gut. "Look, Gail," he started, turning to her in his seat.

She rolled her eyes and looked away from him. "Just don't, alright, I don't want to hear it."

"You don't know what I have to say."

"Whatever it is I don't want to hear it," she said raising her voice, her body language getting rigid as she got more annoyed. "I'm not interested." All she could imagine was that it was something about Andy, or him and Andy, or her and Andy, or even worse her and him! She couldn't even begin to contemplate him talking about what the hell their relationship was now, or maybe even how they should forget about it all for the sake of the job. Gail's eyes became wide as she glared out her side window, her expression impassive. She could do her job very well without having to be on speaking terms with him.

"Gail this isn't about us, it's about the unit."

That struck a chord but she remained stoic, not giving anything away. Her eyes twitched, however. Gail cared immensely about the unit, as he well knew.

"Dov. What he's going through with Chloe."

She cared about Dov. She was loyal to him. Just like she was with Oliver.

"Oliver," Nick continued, as if he could read her mind.

Gail closed her eyes, the emotional blackmail working wonders.

He stopped and waited a moment. "Andy."

That ruined it. She opened her eyes and scowled. She hadn't forgiven Andy, and hearing _him_ mention _her_ name after that nervous pause made her angry, and it made her even angrier that she was getting so angry. It wasn't the fact that she loved or even wanted him anymore, it was just the fact that he hurt her so much and she had let him, not once but twice. And then he had betrayed her with her friend, which meant her friend had betrayed her too. For someone as loyal as Gail that hurt more than anything and she just couldn't let it go. She wasn't sure if she ever could.

She wanted to hurt him. "What about Sam?" she asked, looking at him squarely.

"Sam, of course," he answered with a shake of his head. "All of them, Gail. They need us-"

"-It doesn't bother you that she cares more for him than you?"

He looked uncomfortable.

"She loves him, you know." Gail wasn't sure how true it was, but it seemed to do the trick all the same and if she wasn't mistaken, somewhere deep inside her chest she almost regretted it.

As Nick's eyes lowered and his shoulders seemed to slump ever so slightly, Gail felt a twinge of remorse. She disregarded it however, steeling herself as she was so used to doing and waited for his reply.

He started up the car and stared out of the windscreen. "It's bigger than us, Gail. Our colleagues need us to work together so that's what we need to do."

She scoffed just to be flippant. She knew he was right but it would be a cold day in hell before she ever agreed verbally with him, about anything ever again. She cared deeply for all of her colleagues and would never wish this on any of them, not even Andy. She actually felt for her and Gail was very certain it had everything to do with Holly and all these feelings she was making her feel. Or maybe it was the heightened emotions spurred on by last night and this morning that were very readily still lingering just below the surface.

"I hope you can get over it." Nick finished before pulling out of the lot.

Gail laughed in her head. _If only he knew._

* * *

"Shit," Jamie murmured, quickly reaching to mop up a vial of solution she'd just spilled all over the test area. Holly looked up from behind her microscope. "Sorry," Jamie said quickly, averting her eyes, she was hoping Holly wouldn't notice.

Holly smiled as she got up and approached her new colleague. "Don't worry about it, I used to drop everything when I first started." Holly leaned on the counter and watched as Jamie continued to get flustered. It was a lie, Holly never dropped anything but she thought it was a comforting thing to say to the newest recruit who was quite clearly extremely nervous.

"I'll just erm, get a replacement." Jamie scurried out of the lab in half a second not even waiting for an acknowledgement.

Holly chuckled, mopping up the rest of the mess with Jamie's abandoned cloth and then she deposited it in the trash. Holly always seemed to get dumped with the newbies, apparently it was because of her 'easy manner and charming personality' as her boss had told her, and of course her 'in depth knowledge of the job and her amazing communication skills'. Holly knew when she was being manipulated but loved hearing such forced praised all the same. She didn't really mind being a babysitter but she definitely didn't need it today. Holly loved the silence and the solitude, and especially now she had the opportunity to perve over nights spent with her new girlfriend she certainly didn't need someone translating her facial expressions from across the room every five minutes.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, the tip of her tongue popping out and she held it gently between her teeth, a satisfied grin starting to creep its way across her face. Holly couldn't help it, thoughts from last night were assaulting her and her body would spasm as she remembered Gail being on top of her, her entire length pressed against her and that delicious thing Gail did with her tongue just behind her ear. The recollection was paralysing.

Holly let herself get lost in the memory, as inappropriate as it was in the workplace. It was ages since Holly had felt anything remotely like this and she wanted to enjoy it.

_Gail's hands were in her hair, her thumbs pressing heavily at the base of her jaw and her fingertips massaging into the skin at the back of her neck. The kiss was all Gail as if she was trying to prove something, her tongue dominant as it searched out Holly's commanding a multitude of reactions, all of which Holly felt thunder through her, each like a rapture inside her gut and making her heart lurch with every flick, with every curl._

_Holly's chest felt heavy, desire cascading through her like she'd never known. Her breaths were laboured, her limbs felt numb and it was like a million butterflies were trying to escape her stomach. The thought of Gail touching her had been shattering her for weeks and now it was actually happening she couldn't contain it. Goosebumps rippled through her and every time Gail's fingers trailed over her hips and across her ribs she gasped, her skin extremely sensitive there and Gail seemed to want to torture her even more with it as soon as she discovered it._

_The only piece of clothing left between them was Holly's underwear and the knowledge of Gail being completely naked and only mere inches from her was maddening. Holly wanted to feel her so she reached out, her hands gliding from Gail's back to her hips and to her ass and then she pulled her closer, Gail gladly invading all of her personal space and pushing her up against her bedroom wall._

_Holly set her hands free, enjoying every contour and she squeezed Gail everywhere, the moan she let out when she felt Gail's thigh rub against her full of need and desperation. Holly was so wound up, their time on the kitchen island firmly planted on the tip of her memory and she knew it would be there for quite some time. She slowed the kiss as she pressed down onto Gail's thigh and Gail pushed up, tensing her leg and Holly broke the kiss, her lungs expelling all air making her lightheaded, a sound emanating from her throat that was pure, aching lust._

_Gail looked at Holly, her chest heaving__ sporadically__, her eyes a deep and wild blue and they searched Holly's face, her tongue moistening her lips and for a moment she seemed unsure. Her cheeks were red and her breaths trembled when they came out, her brow furrowing a little as she looked down to where their bodies met, their skin merging together, Gail's pale alabaster a stark contrast to Holly's dark olive tones._

_For a horrible moment Holly thought Gail might stop, just turn abruptly and leave as something washed over her face, something Holly couldn't quite place. She knew Gail was going to be nervous, probably even scared but Holly hoped she was able to convey in her body language and gentle, encouraging touches that it didn't really matter. Gail had touched her out by the kitchen counter, felt her through her underwear and Holly could still feel it, Gail's fingers moving slowly against her. If Holly was brutally honest she didn't particularly mind how much Gail touched her now as she was certain it wasn't going to take much anyway. Vivid on Holly's mind was Gail, laid out gloriously naked in front of her, her back arching in ecstasy, her legs spread and Holly's name being screamed as she swirled her tongue around Gail's clit, her orgasm claiming her powerfully as she came hard around Holly's hand._

_Holly swallowed. She was certain she would only need Gail's thigh pushed against her along with that memory on repeat and that would pretty much do it. Gail being inside her at the same time would just be the icing on the cake._

_She felt Gail's hand sneak between them and Gail moved slightly, allowing a path for her fingers to inch down grazing lightly over a nipple as they went. Holly sucked in a breath, their eyes meeting as Gail's hand continued down, lingering once more over her ribs and then making a point of dancing around her hip, gently caressing the skin._

_Holly flinched, she couldn't help it and she bit her lip delighting in the touch, all thought of Gail writhing beneath her on the island somehow forgotten with just the idea of what was to come left behind._

_Gail leaned her forehead against Holly's, her hand loitering at her hip, nervousness evident in her eyes. "I don't really know what I'm doing," she breathed, her uncertainly giving way to an honest confession spoken so softly it was heart wrenching._

_It made Holly feel it all the more. "Well," she said shakily, bringing her own hand up and resting it on the top of Gail's. "This is always a good place to start," she whispered._

_She clenched Gail's hand and trailed it over her abdomen heading toward the juncture between her legs. Gail's eyes darkened and they shimmered with such lust it screamed out in her expression. It told Holly that she wanted this, that she wanted to touch her and by the way Gail's other hand was holding onto her, her fingers digging into her skin and clinging onto her so passionately Holly knew she wasn't going anywhere. Gail was silently reaching out to her and in that moment Holly loved her for it._

_Gail's fingers came into contact with the top of Holly's underwear and Holly let her hand go, Gail carrying on to run her fingers lower, to cup her over the material of her underwear between her legs and Holly gasped, her hands gripping the tops of Gail's forearms._

_Gail stopped, not breaking eye contact for a moment and then she curled her fingers, dipping them again into Holly's warmth and Holly thought she might pass out. There was something in the way Gail looked at her, as if she was trying to gauge if she was doing the right thing, almost like she needed to know and it sent Holly's mind reeling. The connection was intense and Holly suspected this was how Gail approached everything, notorious in making sure she did it exactly right._

_As Holly gasped at the sensation, the feel of Gail's fingers touching her so intimately she pushed back against the wall, her hands braced on Gail's arms and Gail sighed deeply as well, as if it was making her weak too. Gail's mouth fell open and she started to breathe more heavily, her fingers beginning to explore a little and when she found Holly's taught bundle of nerves she pushed against it making Holly grip tighter and her groan was so loud it surprised her._

_Gail leaned in close at Holly's neck, her breath thick and hot on her. "Like that?" she asked tentatively, her voice so low it sent a shockwave down Holly's spine._

_Holly shuddered, her head tilting to the side as Gail's breath caressed her skin, practically like a feather being trailed along it. It tickled in the most glorious way. She squeezed Gail's arm in encouragement as her fingers continued to play with her and when Holly spoke her words came out in a whimper. "Yeah. Like that," she breathed, her tongue alleviating the dryness of her lips and when she felt Gail press a chaste kiss to the edge of her jaw her next words she could only murmur. "Just like that."_

A vibration suddenly shot through her leg and Holly jumped, her heartbeat tripling at the shock and surprise. As it all too quickly came back to her that she was at work and not at home last night with Gail (mores the pity), Holly couldn't suppress her smile at her daydream and she leaned on the counter to attempt to bring herself under control.

Holly took her phone from her pocket, rounded the counter and sat back behind her microscope, her heartbeat returning to its normal steady rhythm.

"David's just handed me these," Jamie said as she entered the lab, holding some files out to Holly who took them, favouring them with a quizzical look. "Told me to make sure they got to you."

Holly flicked the top report open and ran her eyes across the data. "Damn," she sighed, recognising the inconsistencies in the information across the page. She looked up at Jamie who continued to ease droplets from the new vial of solution she had fetched onto her rows of samples. "Did he say anything else?" Holly asked, flicking her phone open to see she had a new message from Gail.

"No," Jamie replied, not looking up from her task.

"I bet he didn't," Holly sighed. The inconsistencies in the data meant she was going to have to go into another layer of testing in order to determine the validity of fifty different DNA samples. This process was exceptionally time consuming and the findings needed to be presented in two days time. So if David was ignoring this fact and couldn't even be bothered to bring this bad news to her personally, it meant that she wasn't going to get any help and would probably be working till gone midnight the next two nights in order to get it done.

Holly looked down at her phone.

**Gail: So is it always like this?**

Holly smiled, any message from Gail would've had the same effect but her typical air of mystery in text messaging always managed to amuse her. Holly could kind of read her, though, and she knew Gail would totally be struggling if she was experiencing the same kind of pleasurable flashbacks.

**Holly: So is what always like what?**

Holly smirked as she hit send, knowing Gail would be uncomfortable in thinking and therefore in typing the actual words but she wanted to make her type them all the same. She could imagine Gail trapped in a squad car with someone she'd really prefer not to be trapped with while typing out a message about how last night was making her feel, and then getting all annoyed with herself because Gail hated addressing her feelings at the best of times.

She imagined Gail sighing and rolling her eyes as she held her phone close in at her chest, just on the off chance whoever was with her would somehow be able to see. Holly chuckled and it earned her a sideways glance from Jamie in the otherwise silent lab. Holly cleared her throat as another message hit her phone.

**Gail: You know, afterwards. With the images and stuff...**

Holly couldn't stifle her laugh quickly enough but then she swallowed it so it sort of came out like a choked cough. She then made a show of coughing properly to cover it up.

**Holly: ...and stuff ?**

**Gail: Oh shut up. And answer my question.**

It was fun making Gail squirm, she could only imagine what whoever had been partnered with her that day was having to put up with.

**Holly: Yes, I suppose it is. If you enjoyed it, I mean.**

Holly took a look into her microscope and adjusted a few settings. She needed to get a move on with this last tray of samples if she was going to get a start on the marathon of DNA evidence that was going to keep her at work until all hours and really, there was plenty of other things that Holly wanted to spend her evenings doing and all of them included a certain blond Police Officer. Holly loved her job, and she would quite happily spend every waking second in her lab which she had done many a time in the past but now it was different. Now she couldn't pry her mind away from thoughts of Gail even if she wanted them to be pried. Which she didn't.

**Gail: Did you, enjoy it?**

It made Holly smile. Gail was definitely at her cutest when she was vulnerable.

**Holly: You couldn't tell by the way I screamed you name? Yes I enjoyed it. Very much.**

A warm feeling spread through Holly's chest the way it did when she started to feel all girly and mushy for someone. Holly really wished Jamie wasn't in her lab as she didn't think she could string out reading the same report, or messing with her microscope for much longer. She suddenly felt like she was in high school getting all bashful now she knew her secret crush fancied her back. She was fairly certain she had a stupidly happy expression on her face that reading about DNA algorithms shouldn't particularly generate.

**Gail: I thought maybe you were faking.**

Holly stared slack-jawed at her phone. It still surprised her sometimes how blasé Gail could be, even though she thought she knew her pretty well. That was the kind of thing that even if you did think, you wouldn't just come out with it like that, you'd hide it in a joke or at least skirt around it with some heavy hints. But nope, not Gail. Holly shook her head and before she could type out a reply another message came through.

**Gail: You know, to make me feel better.**

Holly raised an eyebrow. She was used to the normal straight girl phobia of being rubbish at lesbian sex and it normally cropped up in conversation a day or so later, so she didn't know why she was surprised at Gail bringing it up now. For some reason it just made her heart lurch to think Gail thought she had faked anything.

**Holly: Nope. Definitely no faking. In fact I've not been able to forget about when you curled your fingers inside me for the first time and what that did to me... **

She smiled, somewhat pleased with herself. That should get Gail's mind off thinking about stupid things like faking.

**Gail: You're not helping with the images.**

Holly grinned. It made her really happy to know Gail was as hung up on their night together as she was, and even happier that this conversation could most definitely be considered as bordering on the edge of girlfriend territory. Or she hoped. Holly definitely wanted that, and she wanted Gail to want that too. Although whether or not Gail was ready for it was a different matter altogether.

**Gail: I want to take you to dinner. Tonight.**

If she didn't have the soppiest of grins on her face before she certainly did now. Holly didn't think her chest could feel warmer, or her heart could beat any happier

**Holly: Are you asking me out on a date, Officer Peck? Because convention dictates you should've done that before last night, really.**

**Gail: Still with the words. Is that a yes?**

**Gail: And nothing about me is conventional.**

"You can say that again," Holly mumbled under her breath. She sighed and cast a sideways glance at Jamie who had lifted her head in recognition of Holly saying something. Holly just coughed again and looked down the list of samples in the report in front of her. There was no way she could delay it, or even skip any part of it. She adjusted her glasses and bit her lip, annoyed.

**Holly: I would love to go to dinner with you but there's no way I'm getting out of here before midnight tonight.**

Gail's reply was instantaneous.

**Gail: What? Why?**

**Holly: Report's just crossed my desk and evidence needs to be presented in two days. I won't get wordy but it will take ages, unfortunately.**

**Gail: Can't someone else do it?**

Holly smiled at Gail's apparent lack of work ethic. She looked at Jamie, thinking about it momentarily before she decided that would be such a bad idea. She looked again at Gail's message. There's no way she could palm the work off but maybe she could coerce the new recruit into helping.

"Jamie, have you cross-indexed multiple DNA samples for correct sample attribution yet?"

Jamie looked up at her. "No."

"And you look like you're pretty much done with those samples in front of you."

Jamie dropped some solution onto the last of her samples. "Yeah, I've just got to put them in the freezer."

Holly smiled. "Then today's your lucky day. Bring back the first batch of DNA results that are in there, would you? And then I'll show you how it all works."

Jamie picked up her tray and left the lab, walking incredibly slowly to be sure she wouldn't drop anything. Holly wasn't particularly sure if she was doing the right thing letting a newbie loose on such important evidence but two hands would be quicker than one, and she did have to learn sometime, right?

**Holly: No, that's not the way it works over here. But if it looks like I'll be done sooner I'll let you know.**

There was more of a pause this time before Gail replied and Holly busied herself preparing the lab for Jamie's return. She was really happy that Gail seemed to want to see her so desperately because if she was being honest with herself, she was initially concerned that Gail might have freaked out and wanted to put some distance between them for a few days to see if this was what she actually wanted. But it seemed good, so far, and Holly really didn't want to jinx it. She was gutted this report was going to keep her tied up for the next two days, and the idea of inviting Gail round at midnight just for sleep (and/or sex) struck her as being a little full on for this early in their relationship. Plus Gail wanted to take her out on a date which was amazingly cute and sweet and totally something they should do rather than be one of those couples who just saw each other for sex because of their demanding schedules. She had been there and done that before. Holly really wanted to avoid starting out that way with Gail.

**Gail: Fine. But work faster.**

She smiled, running her thumb over the screen of her phone.

**Holly: I will. Now leave me alone so I can work!**

Jamie came back in with the samples and stood sort of awkwardly in the doorway with them. "So where do you want these?"

Holly sighed as she eyed the tray and probably for the first time in her life she wished she didn't have to do her job. She ran her hand through her hair and jumped to her feet, attempting to perk herself up a bit. "Anywhere. The whole counter will be covered with them by the end of the day so it doesn't really matter. Surprise me."

* * *

"Gail, why are you so wound up?" Nick asked, gripping the wheel tightly as they cruised. He chanced a look at her. "I mean I know you're cranky at the best of times, and I know you really don't like me right now but honestly, it's like you're set to explode."

She stared out her window and gritted her teeth. "I'm not wound up." Why did he have to talk to her? Why couldn't he just understand that silence was the best way for them to work together at the moment, and probably always, if she was honest.

"Gail, you are. I know you, remember."

She sighed, heavily. That was it. "Oh you do, huh? Know me so well?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah, we were together years, Gail. I think I know how you tick."

"We were off and on for years," she countered quickly. "That's not the same as being together for years."

He looked at her like he didn't think there was a difference.

"It's different," she finished resolutely and Nick had the good sense not to argue the point with her. Maybe he did know her, a little. She smiled widely, deciding she wanted to have some fun with him. "So, seeing as you know me so well, why don't you take a guess? Tell me why I'm so wound up." She looked at him, an exaggerated genuine look smeared across her face.

Nick kind of shrugged. "Like I said earlier, we hurt each other."

"You hurt me," Gail cut in.

Nick ignored it. "But it's done, you know. Maybe you need a distraction. Something to get it out of your system, you know."

"Oh it has to be about you, doesn't it."

"Well who else is it about?"

"You know you lost the right to ask about my personal life when you fell in love with Andy and left me, again."

"This isn't about Andy, Gail. This is about you."

"No, this is about you thinking you can give me advice about my life-"

"-I'm just trying to help, Gail."

"Well I don't need your help, or your concern, or anything from you. I told you before, I don't even need you talking to me." She was getting angry and she didn't like it. Her eyes were furious and they were digging into him as he concentrated on the road.

"Fine. I just, I still care about you, Gail-"

That stung, for some reason and she wished it didn't, but it did. Her eyes shot forward. "Well don't," she spat. "I don't care about you, so I don't want you caring about me."

"Fine."

There was silence. Gail bit her lip and the sharp pain it caused helped to distract her. It pissed her off how much this conversation got to her; how much he got to her. "Anyway, what makes you think I haven't moved on already?"

He looked at her, his attention darting between the road and her now much more relaxed face, the one that had the slight look of the sadistic. He didn't answer, which made Gail want to elaborate all the more.

"What if the reason I'm all wound up is because all I can think about is the totally amazing sex I had last night, and then again this morning, and all I want is to be able to do it again but instead I have to sit here all day with you. You and your little speeches about me still being hung up on you. Like everything is still all about you."

Nick just stared at her and Gail smiled. Happy that she'd floored him.

"I never said that, Gail." He eventually said.

She rolled her eyes.

"And if that is true, I'm glad. That is if it's someone you actually like and not some, one night stand or something."

She sighed. He wasn't ever going to let that go, was he? "It is someone I like," she admitted quietly. "And someone who likes me."

Nick didn't respond and Gail just looked at the dash, her mind wondering to why she decided this moment was the best to tell Nick about her and Holly. She'd wanted to get one up on him, that was for sure, but it made her feel like somehow she had cheapened what this new relationship actually meant to her, and that made her feel terrible.

She really needed to see Holly.

"So are you going to tell me who it is?" Nick asked.

Gail stared back out of her window. "Just drive the damn car."

* * *

"You know what they say about a watched Petri dish," Gail started, pushing herself from the door jam to Holly's lab and walking inside. She had been standing there for the past ten minutes just watching as Holly did something technical with what she assumed were the evil, taking Holly away from her DNA samples. Her attention fully on that little plastic dish.

Holly's head jerked up and she looked over her shoulder as soon as she heard the familiar voice, spinning with a dropper in her one hand and a sample in the other. "Hey," she smiled brightly, and Gail thought she had never looked more beautiful. "What are you doing here?" A look of concern washed over her face, not wanting Gail to have made a wasted journey. "Did you get my message? I called you earlier and left a voicemail." She put her sample and dropper down carefully. "I figured you were busy so." She trailed off, automatically smoothing the invisible creases from her lab coat.

"The one telling me you were probably going to be here till midnight? Yeah I got it." Gail shrugged as she approached the counter where Holly stood, she had a coffee in her hand and she held it out for Holly to take. "I bought you coffee," she offered before smiling at Holly's look of surprise. She stopped bout a foot from her. "I also brought you me." Gail glanced around quickly and at the apparent lack of anyone else working past nine, she leaned in and kissed Holly gently on the lips.

Gail's eyes immediately fell shut and the familiar tingling sensation in her chest gripped her as soon as she made contact. When she felt Holly's lips move against hers all Gail wanted was to kiss her harder but she was very wary of where they were, and also if Holly would be bothered by it or not so she pulled back reluctantly.

Holly was clearly flustered and she had to clear her throat a little before she spoke. She really wasn't expecting Gail to show up but was certainly glad she had. "Well, thank you," she replied, taking in a deep breath. "For the coffee, I mean." She held the coffee up as if in recognition. "I shall think of you as I sip from it."

It made Gail stumble over her thoughts; the smirk on Holly's face was definitely a flirtatious one. Her heart started to pound heavier in her chest. She ran her eyes over the counter with about a million samples clearly indexed and organised but unfortunately looking like they weren't even half way processed. Gail frowned. "Are you sure you can't skip outta here earlier?"

Holly took a sip from her coffee and she ran a hand through her hair, placing the coffee down on a separate workbench to her samples. She went back to her stool and perched on it, her lab coat falling past her knees as she hooked her feet on the cross-frame. "I really, really wish I could." She looked into her microscope and adjusted something, "But I won't be out of here tomorrow at all if I at least don't get half of these done."

Gail leaned behind her against the opposite counter. "And where are you at now?"

Holly scrunched up her face as she peered through the lens. "Erm, maybe a third."

Gail sighed; she really wasn't the patient type. "Could you at least take a short break?"

Holly carried on with what she was doing. "A break?" She didn't look up.

Gail raised her eyebrows. Really for such a smart person Holly said the weirdest things sometimes. "Yeah. Have you even eaten?"

"A sandwich at 1ish." Holly replied, a little detached.

It was almost ten. "Then you need to eat." Gail went back to the doorway and picked up a bag she had stashed there earlier. "And I bought you Chinese food."

Holly immediately looked up from her work. "You bought me food?" Her expression was between surprise at the sentiment and concern that she just didn't have time.

Gail held the bag out in front of her and smiled like she had done the most amazing thing ever. "Well I bought us Chinese food. You wouldn't come to dinner so I bought dinner to you."

Holly melted. "That is so sweet."

Gail tried not to look ecstatically happy that she'd made Holly so sentimental looking by bringing her dinner, but internally she was dancing. "Well not really," she shrugged. "I'm used to getting my own way and I wanted to have dinner with you so, here I am."

Holly just smiled at her from her stool. "I love Chinese food."

"I know. Although I had no idea what to actually order so I got a mix."

Holly got off the stool and approached Gail, peering into the bag as Gail lowered it, who also took a look inside.

"So I got noodles, Thai chicken, something spicy that I think might be weird. This crispy beef that kinda looked nice on the menu, some rice..." She trailed off as Holly put her hand on her forearm and Gail moved her head to look at her.

The expression on Holly's face was amazing and Gail thought if this is what Chinese food always did to her then she would buy it for her every day.

"Thank you, really." Holly said, softly.

Gail quickly found herself lost in the moment as Holly's eyes looked right into her and it reminded Gail of the night before, when they both got completely lost in each other's gentle touches, demanding kisses and passionate caresses. Gail's skin prickled all over and she had to look away, the intensity of it catching her off guard. She was certain her face must've flushed. "I just wanted to see you," she admitted, not altogether sure why. "You can take twenty minutes, can't you?"

Holly hadn't dropped her gaze at all. "Yes," she replied. "I can take twenty minutes."

"Good!" Gail snapped brightly, taking a step away and out of their moment. "Because you don't want to disappoint this face," she said, pointing to herself, "not after the day I've had."

Holly laughed, apparently following Gail out of the moment, too. "I have a feeling I wouldn't enjoy being the reason for a despondent Gail."

Gail raised her eyebrows. "Definitely not."

"Not here though," Holly started, grabbing her coffee and gesturing for Gail to follow her outside. "We can't eat that in here."

"Oh, sorry." Gail quickly followed Holly out of the lab and stood next to her in the corridor, waiting for her to decide where they should go.

Holly eyed the lab. "I can't leave those unattended, either."

They stared at each other for a few seconds and Gail got a little apprehensive. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all but then Holly grinned at her, apparently amused at the whole situation. She cast a look either way down the corridor and then took a seat on the floor against the wall opposite her lab, her legs stretching out in front of her.

Gail favoured her with a look of disbelief. "Romantic," she quipped, before joining her, sitting just about as close as she could without them actually touching.

"Well it's either this or spend the next hour sealing all those up and packing them away just for me unpack and unseal them again when we're done." Holly gestured to Gail for the bag of food, "And I can think of much better things I'd rather be doing with you than that."

Gail paused mid-pass. Her eyebrow shot up and an appreciative grin touched her lips. "Such as?"

Holly grabbed the bag and gently leaned in to press a kiss to Gail's waiting lips. It was so slow and chaste it sent Gail right back to the cloakroom. When Holly pulled away Gail's eyes remained closed and she let her tongue trace the sensation that remained across them.

Holly dove into the bag. "Eating. You know, talking."

For a moment Gail had no idea what Holly was talking about.

"That kind of thing."

When Gail opened her eyes Holly was looking at her with such an awfully smug expression on her face that just seemed so unfair. All Gail could do was smile in return, and take the offered food container Holly was holding out to her. Gail was well aware of the effect Holly had on her, and clearly Holly knew it too. Gail was just glad no one else was around to witness what a pile of un-cool she turned into sometimes when in Holly's presence. Gail put on a minor sulk and stole Holly's chopsticks right out of her hand and started to eat her noodles with them, smiling around her mouthful when Holly started laughing at her.

"You're something else, you know that?" Holly asked, opening up another pair of chopsticks from the bag.

Gail grinned even wider. "All part of my charm."

Holly was still laughing, her shoulders hunched forwards slightly. "I'm learning."

Gail watched out of the corner of her eye as Holly peeled back the lid of her crispy beef and started eating, almost as if she was ravenous. Her hair was loose around her shoulders as it always was, and her glasses sat forward on her nose. She was wearing her usual white coat with a purple v-neck underneath and black slacks, her feet in black boots that gave her a little extra height. Gail examined her, every inch and curve and she thought, probably for the millionth time since they first met, how devastatingly beautiful she was. Gail had thought women to be beautiful before, of course, in that general way that women did but when did that actually turn into Gail finding her sexually attractive? Had there been a specific moment? Was it the kiss in the cloakroom? Would she have wanted Holly in this way if Holly weren't gay? Would Holly have wanted to be around her so much if she were straight? Because there's a difference between wanting someone as a friend and wanting to shag their brains out, isn't there? Like they had last night...

"It's not exactly what I had in mind for our first date."

Holly's voice brought Gail careering out of her reverie, her mouth halfway through chewing some noodles. Gail looked at her quizzically.

Holly smiled at her, almost knowingly. "Sitting on the floor outside my lab eating Chinese food." She gestured with her chopsticks. "You so owe me a nice restaurant. With wine. Copious amounts of wine."

Gail frowned. "This is not our first date."

"No?"

Gail looked at her aghast. "I took you to a wedding."

Holly laughed, her voice raising a little, "Only because you had no one else to take!"

Gail looked hurt. "Oh yeah, rub it in that I was completely alone and friendless."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Gail, you have plenty of friends."

"Mmm."

"You just don't like any of them." Holly leaned away and laughed at her own joke, bracing herself for the shove she knew was to come.

Gail forced her elbow into Holly's arm and glared at her. "I'm not sure we're at that stage in our relationship where you can be that honest with me."

"Oowww!" Holly grimaced. "Okay, I'm sorry." She rubbed her arm. "That really hurt." Holly sat back up, a pout covering her face. Not that the pain really mattered, of course, not with Gail's mention of their relationship just now. Gail thought they were in a relationship. Holly grinned stupidly. _Awesome._

Gail invested her attention in her noodles. "You're a doctor, you can deal with it."

Holly looked at her and then tapped her on the shin with her foot. "So the wedding was a date, huh?"

Gail felt her grin come back. "As much as a date as the batting cages."

"That was so not a date." Holly shook her head, remembering how funny it was watching Gail attempt to hit the ball. "I don't think I've ever seen you be so girly."

Gail started laughing, her head lowering in shame. "I think I should get points for trying even though I knew I'd suck at it."

They were both laughing, their shoulders casually leaning into each other, their eyes stealing glances when they thought the other wasn't looking.

"Oh you lost major cool points there, Peck." Holly managed when her laughter subsided.

Gail pulled her face into a sulk but she couldn't hold it before another smile broke across her face. "But I was trying so hard. I really wanted to impress you."

Holly laughed again and then she played with her food inside her carton. "Good job I'd already fallen for you then, huh?"

Gail's head snapped to her but Holly averted her gaze. Gail was kind of lost for what to say but her heart flipped in her chest, her pulse suddenly beating faster and she felt it thudding in her neck. Gail swallowed involuntarily and her mouth went all kinds of dry. She felt nervous before she realised that was ridiculous, and she became completely envious that Holly could so freely voice her feelings, just like that.

Holly was still poking her beef with her chopsticks. "Because left until after that, you'd of had no chance." She lifted her head and met Gail's gaze. She grinned happily, not apologetic in the least for how much she was teasing her. "Sorry."

Gail smiled back and looked down at her own food, feeling quite stupid for not saying anything and getting quite annoyed Holly was able to stun her into silence like this so easily.

"This, by the way, is fantastic." Holly said, deciding a change in subject was in order. She popped another piece of beef into her mouth and chewed on it, savouring the flavour of the Cantonese sauce against the crispiness of the beef's coating. "Where did you get it?"

"Just around the corner from the station. I've been there a few times, the noodles are really good."

"Uh-huh." Holly acknowledged. She picked up a piece of beef with her chopsticks. "Here," she offered, holding it out between them, "try some."

Gail knitted her eyebrows together and lightly shook her head, shoveling some more noodles into her mouth.

Holly looked at her. "What you don't like beef?"

Gail swallowed her food and looked at the piece Holly was still holding between them. She eyed it suspiciously. "No I do, I just, don't like the idea of crispy beef."

Holly frowned, trying to work that one out.

Gail was still shaking her head. "No. I just, no."

Holly chuckled, "C'mon. You'll like it. It's real good."

Gail moved her eyes from the beef to Holly who was looking at her with a mix of amusement and bewilderment.

Holly moistened her lips. "I thought you were into sharing new experiences with me?"

Gail's eyes grew wider and a smile tugged on her lips. Once more she was left speechless and her mind shot back to last night, the best new experience of her life. She thought if nothing else, she needed to try and get one over on Holly, because Holly right now was on a roll.

Gail looked Holly square in the eye and poked her tongue out for it to loiter momentarily across her bottom lip. She then leaned forwards and closed her mouth around the offered food, taking her time in dragging her lips along the ends of Holly's chopsticks, Gail's eyes remaining fixed on Holly's with every movement. She chewed delicately, breathing slowly and then she rested back against the wall, her head tilting against it so her hair fell away from her neck. She swallowed and licked her lips. "You're right," she said quietly, and she watched as Holly's attention moved from her lips to her neck, the chopsticks she was still holding trembling slightly. "Tasty."

Holly started nodding. Clearly caught. "Good," she said, returning her chopsticks to the rest of her beef. "Told you."

Gail smiled, mission accomplished. It was hugely satisfying to know she could render this otherwise totally composed and professional individual speechless just like she could her. Gail thought she would push her luck. "And by the way you've totally ruined kitchens for me."

"Excuse me?"

Gail busied herself with her noodles, trying to come off casual. "I had to go into three apartments today and therefore by default three kitchens all of which had one of those islands like yours." Gail scooped some noodles up on her chopsticks and shook her head, "It was a good job none of the calls were emergencies because I just couldn't get my mind past it. All I could do was just stand there and stare at them." She sighed for show.

Gail put the noodles in her mouth and started chewing, very aware of the look of shock splayed across Holly's face. It was almost like amazement coupled with a hint of awkwardness, and Gail was certain Holly's cheeks went a little red and then suddenly, Holly's chest started to hitch and she started to laugh.

"Definitely left a lasting impression then huh?" Holly asked, her eyes still wide as she couldn't quite believe Gail brought that up, right then.

Gail mirrored Holly's expression. "Oh you have no idea," she admitted, her head resting back against the wall. "Nick thought I was losing my mind."

"You were partnered with Nick today?"

"Yeah," Gail replied, setting her noodles down beside her, the recollection of her conversation with him in the squad car coming back and hitting her hard. She frowned, and then sighed, her hands folding in her lap. "I sort of, half told him about last night, earlier."

Holly set her beef aside, too. If she didn't particularly like the idea of Gail spending the day with her ex, she wasn't sure what she felt about Gail choosing to share that with him. She could only imagine the line of the conversation that lead them to it. "Oh?" was all she managed.

Gail felt the atmosphere change in a heartbeat and she was immediately regretful. She felt like she needed to talk about it, though. "Yeah," she continued, reluctantly. She moved her leg an inch or so over so it was leaning against Holly's, her foot moving to bump against Holly's boot. "We were kind of arguing, and I don't really know why I thought that was the best time to tell him but, it just spilled out."

Holly had concern etched all over her face. She shrugged. "What were you arguing about?"

Gail knew this wasn't going to go well for her. "Him and Andy," she mumbled. "It was dumb," she shook her head. "So dumb."

Holly flexed her foot to maintain the contact Gail offered. "So what did you tell him, exactly?"

Gail pulled a face and her voice was quiet. "Just that I'd found someone. And it was great." She emphasised the _it_ with a flash of her eyes. "Last night I mean, I told him last night was great."

Holly was quiet and she focused her attention on their playing feet. The gentle dance they did numbed by the thickness of their footwear. It was nice all the same. She bit on her lip awkwardly, her chest suddenly heavy. "So you were scoring points?" It wasn't an accusation as such, Holly didn't mean it like that but it still hurt her all the same to think it.

Gail breathed out heavily. "He just really made me mad and I guess I wanted him to know I was happy," she looked at Holly's downcast face, "with you."

Holly looked hurt and Gail hated it. She knew it was the truth and she cringed at how awful it sounded. She never wanted to be the reason Holly's face looked like that. She took a deep breath. "Holly, you do know you're no kind of rebound, don't you?"

Gail sneaked her hand from her lap and ran it over Holly's that was resting on her own thigh. Gail linked their fingers together and squeezed gently, trying to convey everything she felt in the simple action.

Holly smiled, looking at their hands and then she leaned all her weight into Gail's shoulder. "Yeah," she replied, looking into Gail's sparkling blue eyes. "I do now."

"You've never been any kind of rebound." Gail didn't think she'd ever been more sincere and she meant it more than she'd ever meant anything. She didn't know how she could make it anymore clear, and she hoped that Holly believed her.

"I've never really thought that." Holly started, shifting a little so she was more sort of, facing Gail where she sat. Her eyes wondered as she thought about it and Gail gave her a disbelieving look. "Well, okay maybe," she conceded, "but you know, you are straight, and everything." She looked down at their entwined hands. "It's kind of easy to assume something like that."

"You probably can't call me all that straight now," Gail pondered aloud. That seemed fairly obvious, to her. "Not anymore," she said with a leer, making Holly smile and in turn it made her immediately glad she'd said it. It was definitely Gail's new favourite thing, to make Holly smile like that. "And anyway, weren't you straight too, once, before you realised you didn't like men?"

Holly smirked. That was of course so true, until she met a girl she wanted to be with, at least for the night, anyway, and then she had figured it all out from there. Girls = beautiful = Holly is a lesbian. Was what Gail was doing really any different? "Touché," she sighed, a very lazy smile puling at her lips. "How very insightful of you."

"I can be insightful." Gail retorted, her knees bending a little so she could rest them on top of Holly's legs. "Occasionally."

Gail ran her thumb over the back of Holly's hand and amazingly she felt her body light up when Holly squeezed her fingers back in return. It was like something out of one of those stupid chick flicks that she refused to buy into, because no one ever felt like that ever, not at stupid things like holding hands or playing footsie. Gail felt a realisation hit her, like a sudden epiphany landing on her from out of nowhere and she froze, her back stiffening and she quickly tried to stifle it. She looked at Holly and she knew, but she also knew that she wasn't anywhere ready to start admitting something like that, let alone deal with feeling it gave her so she shifted, and moved to get up pulling herself rudely away from wherever the moment may have taken her.

"Are you okay?" Holly asked looking up, the sudden loss of warmth next to her startling her.

Gail held out a hand and pulled Holly up so they were standing opposite each other. "Yeah," Gail replied casually, looking anywhere but at the brown eyes in front of her. "I just remembered all that work you have to do and felt guilty for keeping you from it."

"Oh," Holly nodded, not believing her in the slightest but she decided not to push it. "Yeah, best get back to it, then."

They picked up the remnants of their dinner and deposited it in the recycling units in the hallway.

"Thanks for dinner," Holly continued, making sure Gail wasn't a foot from her.

"Anytime." Gail replied, putting her hands in her pockets as she felt a little awkward, suddenly.

Holly glanced at her watch and then poked Gail square in the chest. "And it's so your fault I'm not going to be out of here before 1 now." She pulled a face and yawned knowing she literally had a marathon of a task yet to come.

Gail thought it was adorable. "Well, I could stay and help?"

Holly looked at her, her face scrunching up. "What?"

Gail shrugged. "If you want. Then you'll be done quicker, right?"

Holly thought she was being absurd. She put her hands on Gail's hips. "Gail, you've just done an eleven hour shift yourself. You should go home and sleep."

"It wouldn't be very Police Officery of me to abandon you here on your own. I've not seen a single other person since I came in an hour ago." She exaggerated with her hands. "I mean, anything could happen."

Holly smiled. "There is security here, somewhere."

"Anyway, I feel obliged to since I dropped you at work this morning. It's only right I drive you home when you're done."

Holly raised a brow and pulled Gail closer to her. "Ooh," and she lowered her voice seductively. "Do you have the squad car?"

Gail felt a shiver run through her, "No but uhm," she looked around them, just to be safe and then ran her hands up Holly's shoulders and linked her fingers at the back of her neck. "I can have a go at making you see lights..."

Gail was silenced by Holly's lips as they tasted her, gently kissing the words from her mouth as her fingers got lost under Gail's top, their bodies moulding together and as Holly's tongue requested entry, Gail pulled harder at the back of Holly's neck and she groaned, remembering last night and exactly what every inch of Holly's skin felt like as it writhed against her.

Holly stepped back, a hand placed against Gail's chest. She was breathing hard after what must have only been a few minutes. She shook her head. "Bad idea."

"Uh-huh." Gail breathed, her head still totally in the kiss.

"You really should go."

"Nu-uh," Gail sighed. There was no chance.

Holly grinned. "Then no more distracting me," and then she walked back inside her lab.

Gail followed her, not missing a beat. "Er, you kissed me."

Holly snapped on a pair of gloves and sat behind her microscope. "Minor detail."

Gail folded her arms across her chest. "I think it's you who needs to control herself, Doctor Stewart."

Holly really liked the way Gail said that. "You'll need some gloves if you're really going to help, there's some behind you."

Gail got excited and hastily put them on. "Do I get a sexy white coat too?"

Holly gazed at her. "Those are only for qualified medical staff. I don't think you're quite there yet."

"Awe," Gail pouted, clearly put out.

"Maybe later," Holly smirked. At Gail's exceptionally wide grin and over-exaggerated expression of enthusiasm Holly stopped, really not too sure about this at all. "Gail, are you sure you just don't want to go?"

Gail leaned on the counter, "What are you kidding? This is one of the reasons I like dating you, it's interesting and I learn new things."

"I hope it's more than that," She confessed before she stopped, pausing at the double meaning laced behind 'new things' and more importantly, Gail's admission that they were in actual fact, now dating.

Gail smiled, happy that she had rendered Holly speechless again. "Oh, it's also a lot of fun." She leaned a little more seductively over the counter and put on her best alluring voice, "So c'mon, Doctor, why don't you show me exactly what it is you want me to do..."

Holly reached for her glasses as she closed her eyes and took in a deep, calming breath. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

_Don't kill me for not overdoing the night before from Gail's POV! All in good time. Oh and say hey on twitter you know, if you want talented_gemx_


	5. Chapter 5: the first date

_First of all, so sorry this has taken ages! It was meant to be a quick update but, you know, things got in the way. Namely Lost Girl series 3 on YouTube! Can't believe I'd never seen that show before. It's like the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it? I seriously love Canada right now!_

_Also I've been completely excited by Aliyah O'Brien favouriting a few of my tweets! I was like OMG that's the best thing ever and shes liketotallyawesomeandamazingandItotallylovehervcbdshfjgsfdnfmdmfdksfvnlk etc etc. Me = pile of uncool for the last two weeks *sigh*_

_Anyway! So I promised someone I would write all things cute and cuddly, you know with puppy dogs and rose petals so here we are, right before all the drama begins!_

_And thanks to my newest twitter friend Jen for the inspiration at the bottom. Enjoy The First Date._

* * *

Gail had no idea why she was so nervous, really. It was bordering on stupid. She looked amazing of course, she knew she did but still she couldn't settle herself.

Her chest felt tight, her mouth uneasily dry. Her arms felt heavy and her hands when she held them out in front of her, as she had several times now for closer inspection, trembled.

She tried to push it out of her mind and so she examined her dress for possibly the trillionth time, in the full length mirror in front of her. It was blue, and short, cut above the knee because she knew Holly liked her legs. She always made a point of touching them whenever they were sat together, even if it was just the briefest of touches and Gail had noticed how Holly kind of ogled them whenever they were on display so that, she decided, pretty much proved it. The dress also showed just the right amount of cleavage, not in a slutty way but it did really accentuate her breasts with its plunging neckline. Gail turned where she stood, again probably for the trillionth time just to confirm how it fit her; snug in all the right places and she smiled happy with herself, knowing Holly would be impressed.

Gail imagined how Holly would look at her, those brown eyes trailing from her head down to her feet and back up again, taking in every curve and every movement. Holly's eyebrows would rise up, her head tilting and she would try to look at Gail from the side. Her lips falling into that playful smirk and she would twitch them, as if she was biting her tongue, holding in her first comment and trying to rationalize her thought process. Gail had seen her do it quite a few times, holding herself back a little in order to say or do something once she'd thought it through. Just like in the interrogation room after they pulled apart from their kisses and Holly seemed to wrestle with herself for the right thing to say. Even in Holly's bedroom during that first fantastic night six days ago, when Gail was so so nervous about touching her, even kissing her once Gail had laid down on top of her. Holly was still conscious about saying the right thing, finding the right words of encouragement and the right actions to get Gail to feel more comfortable. Holly always seemed so controlled, even then when she was falling apart under Gail's touch, her body reacting and responding so strongly, inspiring Gail to touch her all the more. At every moment she was making sure Gail was okay, Holly's eyes constantly on her, her hands in Gail's hair, on her arms and across her back. Everything about it made Gail feel amazing, Holly made her feel amazing and being inside of her was just something else.

It was definitely one of the most magical moments of Gail's life. Even after, when Holly's eyes finally opened and her breathing regained some semblance of normality, she reached out for Gail, pulled her close and Gail held her until the trembling gave out.

It made Gail's heart melt just thinking about it and if she was being honest, she was still waiting for the penny to drop. For her brain to go crazy and freak out about what the hell was happening and what the hell she was doing. Sometimes she felt it but she could discount it and chase the feeling away. She hoped she'd always be able to do that.

She focused back on her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was loose around her shoulders with just a little bit of bounce and on her feet she wore a black pair of heels. As she checked out her ass which she knew also looked damn good, the material wrapping around her and pulling in all the right places Gail wondered which part of her was Holly's favourite. She faced front again and bit her lip as she thought about it.

She knew her legs of course, especially her thighs as they seemed to get an awful lot of attention, but maybe that was because they were an acceptable body part for Holly to touch in public, and obviously not such a blatant thing to grab when they were alone. Either way, Holly's roaming hands always usually started out on one of her upper thighs which then lead to her hips, her sides, across her ribs and then to her breasts where they would play and her fingers would tease.

Gail caught herself in the mirror as she felt her body respond, her eyes staring back at her and she smirked, managing to stop her mind from delighting yet again in the memory of their first night. It had been six long days since then and Gail had just about figured out how to stop the memories from assaulting her so vividly but now she was suffering from something else.

Now she was feeling frustrated. They hadn't spent another night together since.

Well, they had spent one, the night of Holly's court appearance but Gail had pulled two double shifts in a row after the all-nighter in the lab and so as soon as she sat on Holly's sofa she had fallen asleep. Only to wake up alone the next day around noon in Holly's Wonder Woman pyjamas, Holly having left her in bed to go to work. She had left a note on the nightstand though, thanking Gail for the 'most memorable second night together ever', with a winky face following it. Gail knew it was sarcasm but she felt gutted all the same, it certainly wasn't how she wanted to spend the night with her new girlfriend. Thus followed three very long night shifts with Holly constantly ribbing her about falling spark out asleep on her at their only opportunity to spend a night together until of course, tonight.

Gail straightened and picked up her coat that was lying on her bed, putting it on as she felt the nerves return and she swallowed apprehensively. She still didn't know exactly why but she knew she was preoccupied with making tonight special. It was their first official date. Somewhere away from the station or the lab where they had spent an hour here or there grabbing lunch over the past five days, Gail stopping by whenever she could swing it while she was on nights before Holly went home, stealing the odd ten minutes to make out in a quiet corner before Gail had to go back to work.

It was torturous, and serving to get Gail exceptionally worked up as she had plenty of time to think about how much she was missing close contact with Holly. Missing her hands on her and really missing the idea of being able to go and see Holly and just enjoy being in her company without the restraints of work hounding them. The last six days had been a matter of minutes grabbed whenever they could, long phone calls and even longer text conversations.

Gail wanted her, more than she knew how to deal with and tonight was it. Four days ago she decided to ask Holly out properly, on a proper date seeing as they weren't able to have one that night Gail ended up staying late at the lab. Her mind was full of Holly's comment about a nice restaurant and plenty of wine, so Gail decided to ask her out for tonight and she had been working herself up about it ever since.

The absence of Holly's calming presence didn't help either.

She took a deep breath. If she was completely honest, and she didn't want to admit it to herself, now it had been six days she was nervous about being with Holly again. What if she really was shit the first time but Holly was just being really forgiving because she was nice like that? Or maybe, if it really was good it was some kind of fluke and Gail wouldn't be able to repeat it? What if she couldn't find the right places to touch her again?

Luckily her phone started ringing and it was a welcome distraction. Gail smiled as she saw the screen. It was Holly. She pressed the phone to her ear. "Hey," she smiled.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Home. I'm just heading out."

"Okay. I've just got in."

Gail's forehead creased. "What?"

"Its fine, I'll be ready in twenty minutes."

Gail raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause on the line and Gail really was envious. Holly was beautiful; any idiot could see that but really, twenty minutes to get ready? That was absurd. Gail shook her head and as she thought about Holly getting dressed there was a part of her that just wanted to tell her to forget it and just wait naked in bed for her and she'd be there in ten. But no. Gail wanted to take her out properly, like a proper couple on a proper date and so that's what she was going to do.

"You sound surprised I can be ready that fast." Holly continued, pulling Gail from her thoughts.

"No," Gail replied quickly. "It's just," she paused, all words escaping her. "Well, it's taken me an hour and a half." It was the 'getting dressed part' of the date; of course it took her ages. It was a date she was bothered about after all.

There was another pause and Gail assumed Holly was trying her best not to laugh.

"Well hurry up and get here and you can enjoy waiting for the other girl to get ready for the date too."

Gail pouted. That kind of took the magic out of it, she thought.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." Gail really thought Holly was trying to do everything she could to ruin the excitement of their first date for her.

"How am I supposed to know what to wear if I don't know where we're going?"

Gail sighed, and then she shrugged. She found her bag on her dresser and she played with it with her free hand. "Just wear something nice, I dunno."

Another pause and Gail was certain she heard Holly drop something.

"Are you saying I don't normally look nice?"

Gail rolled her eyes. "Of course you do." Holly started to snicker and Gail soon got annoyed at Holly's lack of preparation for their night. "You always look amazing," she sulked.

Gail heard muttering as Holly hurried around her apartment, obviously turning clothes out of her wardrobe and dashing between the bedroom and bathroom. "Okay. Have you left yet?" She was clearly trying to gauge exactly how long she had.

Gail ignored her question. "Why have you only just got in? Did you have to stay over at work?"

"Uh," Holly pretty much spat, completely exasperated. "I'll fill you in later, okay? I'm just jumping in the shower. I'll see you in half hour, yeah?"

Gail was half way through her front door. "Okay," she replied, and Holly was gone.

Gail didn't know why it pissed her off so much Holly was completely rushing getting ready for their date. There might well have been an emergency at work, and it was perfectly fine if Holly didn't need at least ninety minutes to get ready for a date but, it made her think Holly just wasn't as excited, or anywhere near as apprehensive at the whole thing. She sighed and as she left the building she didn't even notice Chris walk past her.

"Going out tonight, Gail?"

Gail spun and saw him standing about three feet from her. She rolled her eyes. "No. I'm staying in." She walked closer to him, "Can't you see me? Sat on the sofa in my onesie?"

Chris looked at his feet, his hands tucked deep into his coat pockets. He forced a smile. "You meeting Holly?"

The mention of her name seemed to throw any impending sarcasm right out of Gail. It was weird but in such a good way, even if the phone call did bug her. "Yeah," she replied, not looking at him so he wouldn't see the happiness on her face.

"Things going well between you two, then?"

It was like a floodgate opened in her mind, everything from Holly being swamped at work to Gail having to pull double shifts and all those irritating things in between that meant they had only spent around eight full waking hours together during the past six days. That was just plain stupid, as far as Gail was concerned. "Great yeah," she mumbled, "apart from I've hardly seen her the last week."

"Yeah you have been home more than usual lately," he smirked, before he curbed it at the death look she threw him. He cleared his throat. "Well, I'm sure you'll have fun tonight. Are you coming home?"

Gail scoffed, "What are you my mother all of a sudden?" _No I'm not coming home_, she thought. _Well I better not be..._

Chris laughed "Have fun okay, Gail?" He turned and headed toward their building. Before he got far he looked over his shoulder at her, "Say hey to Holly for me, and bring her to The Penny sometime soon." His smile took on a mischievous glint, "I like the effect she has on you."

He disappeared inside and Gail stared after him, a little perplexed. It was annoying Chris checking up on her like that, but then everything was annoying her tonight. She was certain it was the levels of frustration building up inside of her. She spun and headed toward her car, eager to get to Holly's. As she walked she thought about Chris asking her to bring Holly to The Penny. She hadn't really considered it before, whenever Holly had turned up there it was so Gail could sit quietly in the corner with her and have her all to herself, not really to socialise with her friends. But then she supposed that was something she should do now they were more serious; the relationship becoming more solid and everything.

Gail felt something in her chest and it made her stumble, a little, before she rightened herself and got into her car. She sat and took a calming breath behind the wheel. It felt odd, like panic, maybe. She didn't like it and she tried to ignore it. She put the key in the ignition and made her way to Holly's.

* * *

Gail knocked on Holly's door and it fell open. Gail stood there with her fist raised, the door creaking as it swung inwards a few inches. Gail automatically went on the alert, her hand going for her gun which wasn't there, her heart thumping erratically as she immediately thought something might have happened to Holly. "Holly?" she yelled, moving around the door carefully. There's no way that could've happened, no way. Not to Holly. Not to them. Not now…

"Come in!" Holly shouted back, from somewhere within the apartment.

Gail still looked apprehensive, but ventured further into the apartment nonetheless. Her body was completely tense. "Are you okay?" she asked, moving into the living room.

"Yeah, I'm just finishing up."

Gail suddenly relaxed, her shoulders easing and her heart sort of returned to a normal rhythm. Holly's voice was coming from her bedroom. "Why was your door open?"

"So you could come in."

Gail pulled a face, her mind exploding with how amazingly dangerous that was. She rolled her eyes, annoyed. She had to shout a few things in her head to stop them from coming out in her next sentence. "That's really dangerous, you know," she responded in a loud voice, to make sure Holly heard. "Anything could've happened." Gail dropped her bag on the sofa and took a calming breath.

"I only opened it when I saw you walk up a few minutes ago."

"Oh." Gail kind of shrugged. She still didn't like it but didn't think she should go into a rant about it, not at the start of their date. "Still," she said, a little quieter, "don't do that next time. Keep it locked."

Gail stood facing the kitchen island and she stopped. She was standing about three feet from it, not noticing it when she came in to start with what with all the panic of Holly's wellbeing and everything, but now she stared at it, a fluttering immediately engulfing her insides. She swallowed and she felt it, a warm and tingling feeling shooting around her abdomen and then a rushing deep inside. She tilted her head and her eyes widened, a shiver running down her neck.

"Sorry, Officer," Holly began as came out of her bedroom. Her head was down as she was finishing buttoning up her shirt. "I just didn't want to open it without any pants on." She stopped and leaned against the wall as she watched Gail just standing there, sort of in a trance as she stared at her kitchen island. A smug expression settled on Holly's face.

Gail felt some warm familiar hands snake across her stomach and strong arms hug her from behind. Her hands immediately settled over them and she sighed content, her mind pulling away from her first time with Holly right there on that counter. She had to take a deep breath.

Holly leaned into Gail's neck. "See something you like?" Holly whispered.

Gail shuddered as she leaned back into the embrace, Holly's breath tickling her in a most pleasurable way. "Just remembering," she replied softly before she turned in Holly's arms, noting the extremely satisfied expression on her girlfriends face. Gail looked unimpressed. "You don't have to look so smug about it."

Holly just grinned, her arms comfortably around Gail's waist holding her close, her hair long and flowing across her shoulders and her eyes unhidden, her glasses nowhere to be seen. They sparkled with playfulness. "You don't have to walk by it every morning. If you did you'd be this smug too."

It made Gail chuckle.

"Hey," Holly said softly by way of a greeting, staring into Gail's eyes and leaning in a little closer.

Gail felt the electricity between them and she hoped it wasn't obvious it was making her blush. Her hands were resting half way up Holly's arms and she leaned up that tiny distance to meet Holly's lips for the kiss. "Hey," she breathed, before their lips touched and her eyes fell closed.

The kiss was slow and gentle and seemed to last for an age, both of them relaxing into each other and enjoying the fact that neither had to rush back to work. Gail's hands found their way into Holly's hair and Holly's hands explored Gail's lower back, loving the material of her dress and how it felt under her touch. Both were reluctant to break it, not wanting to move from the safety and significance of the moment but both knowing the importance of going on this date.

Eventually Holly pulled away and stepped back, breathing out slowly and holding her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyes fell to Gail's dress and she looked at her appreciatively, taking another step back to get a better view. Gail's hands had fallen from Holly's hair and so Holly held onto one of them, just by the tips of her fingers. She raised a brow, "You look amazing," she said, her eyes not quite making it back up to Gail's.

It was Gail's turn to look smug. She grinned and walked back over to the sofa to retrieve her bag, relinquishing the hold of Holly's fingers. "Oh, so now you notice what I'm wearing."

Holly's eyes followed her and focused on her ass as she walked away from her. They then trailed all over her legs. "Well, you did have your back to me when I came in from the bedroom."

Gail picked up her bag and walked back over to Holly, enjoying how Holly's eyes examined every inch of her as she moved. Gail stopped just in front of her, noticing for the first time what Holly was wearing and the unbelievable tightness of her pants. They were ridiculously figure hugging, and they almost looked like they were painted on. They were black, stretched down to Holly's ankles where she could see the smallest amount of skin before Holly's feet disappeared into some impressive heels. Gail licked her lips and her eyes travelled back up, taking in the casual (or not really) way Holly had buttoned up her deep red shirt. The buttoning stopped mid-chest and Gail could pretty much see her black bra because of it. The shirt itself was fairly tight, hanging from her shoulders perfectly. The whole outfit just made Gail want to touch her and she had to physically stop herself from doing so.

Gail swallowed. "You look good, too."

Holly laughed. She gathered as much from the last two minutes of Gail's obvious leering. "Thanks."

They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them particularly wanting to move and Holly was beginning to wish she had suggested meeting Gail at wherever it was they were going. All she wanted was to take Gail to bed and make up for the last six days.

Holly broke eye contact. "Shall we go?"

Gail nodded. "Uh-huh."

* * *

"Gail," Holly whispered, "You didn't have to bring me here."

Holly sided up to Gail after their coats were taken and they waited by the bar for their table. It was going to take five minutes, apparently, and Holly watched the waiter scurry off before more people followed them into the bar.

"Why not? You like Italian food." Gail replied.

Holly felt a little apprehensive. She was close in at Gail's arm and when she spoke it was close in at her neck, worried that Gail had taken her comment about the nice restaurant a little too seriously.

"But it's Sergio's, Gail."

Sergio's was the best Italian restaurant for miles. It was renowned for its eloquence, fine dining, and Michelin Star chefs and therefore it cost the earth. Holly had only ever been once before and it was amazing but there was no way she expected Gail to bring her somewhere like this.

When Gail turned to her Holly looked at her with wide eyes. "Yeah I know," Gail said, "but it's supposed to be nice."

"Nice?" Holly blurted. "Gail, you cannot understate Sergio's. The chef has two Michelin Stars."

Gail shrugged. "Do you want a drink or do you want to wait till we get to the table?"

Gail was trying her best not to feel any pressure but it was hard. She had to remind herself to breath at the right intervals. Gail didn't do fuss, nor grand gestures, nor anything as romantic or as heartfelt as taking her girlfriend to the best restaurant in town for fancy food. She was dreading having to sit down and act like this wasn't bothering her, but she knew Holly would enjoy it and so it was all worth it. Or she hoped, wondering briefly if it would be bad taste to order tequila in a place like this.

"Ms. Peck?"

They both turned to look at the waiter who was walking towards them. "I can take you to your table now, please follow me."

Gail forced a smile and followed him with Holly trailing after her.

Holly reached out and touched Gail's forearm. "We can go, you know. If you want?" Her eyes were sympathetic because she knew Gail would hate every second of this, even though the gesture was wonderful.

Gail looked at her over her shoulder. "No, we're staying. I wanted to bring you here."

They got to the table and the waiter pulled out a chair for each of them. As Holly sat down Gail leaned over the table toward her as she too took her seat. "Besides, I had to drop my mother's name to get a reservation here with less than three months notice. So we're going to enjoy it."

Holly just stared at her, absolutely amazed the kind of sentimental things Gail did sometimes. And they were all for her. She had to look away because the warmth of her smile heated her cheeks.

"Would you like some drinks? Some wine?" The waiter asked.

"Yes," Gail responded rather brightly. Holly could tell she was trying to force a comfort level to way above where she was actually sitting. "We want copious amounts of wine."

It made Holly chuckle.

"And what wine would you prefer?"

A blank expression crossed Gail's face and she cast a glance to Holly who was less than helpful, just nurturing that amused look she had when she was trying to suppress a laugh.

"Erm, what would you recommend?" Gail managed to pluck from somewhere, saving herself from having to know _anything_ about wine.

"Bianco, certainly? Pinot Grigio, or Piemonte. Beautiful, dry wines. Or you prefer red?"

Gail just raised her eyebrows.

"Not red," Holly offered. "Pinot will be fine." She hated red wine.

Gail just smiled and the waiter handed them a menu each before making a speedy exit from the table.

"So," Gail continued, looking down at the list of dishes in front of her.

Holly just looked at her and the bashful way Gail held her hands in her lap, her shoulders hunched forward slightly as she considered the options presented to her. Holly could sense the apprehension from across the table. She wanted to reach out to her but didn't know if Gail would like that, not in such a public place as this, but the effort Gail had gone to for this date made her soul dance. Holly loved her, without a shadow of a doubt. She knew it.

"Gail," she said softly, and Gail raised her head to look at her. "Thank you, for this."

Gail smiled and she seemed to relax, ever so slightly. The expression on Holly's face made her feel more comfortable, like there was only the two of them in the room, and Gail's eyes seemed to smile, too.

Gail felt Holly's shin slide against her leg and she enveloped Gail's one foot between her two under the table. Gail had to look down again to contain how wonderful that made her feel. It was exactly the sort of thing Holly always did, trying to ground her, somehow, and it always worked.

Maybe this whole thing wasn't going to be so bad after all.

* * *

The wine arrived shortly after and Gail suggested Holly should taste it, seeing as she was the one who wanted wine. It wasn't Gail's drink of choice but she would share it, it was alcohol, after all. It would do. As the waiter took their order and Gail looked apprehensively around the room, she felt self consciousness settle in. It was a completely romantic setting, dimmed lights, lush decor, fine table wear. She actually wondered where the candles were. Every table was for two, and at every table sat a man and a woman. Apart from theirs.

Gail immediately looked at Holly, who was still talking to the waiter and she wondered if it bothered her, that kind of thing, or if she had ever stopped noticing it. She had been a lesbian for a while, after all. Gail reached for her wine and took a sip, holding the glass close to her as she swallowed the clear liquid. It was dry, very dry and it cut through her. She liked it.

Gail realised that no one was looking at them. No one was interested, apart from a guy two tables over who seemed to be taking an interest in Holly and the waiters conversation. Or rather the way Holly's top exposed just a little more of her cleavage when she leaned back in her chair. Gail drank some more wine and gave the guy a glare. He noticed and looked away just as his wife, or whom Gail assumed was his wife, gave him an even worse look. It made Gail grin and feel distinctively proud that the woman sat opposite her was hers.

"What?" Holly asked when the waiter walked away, catching Gail's look.

"Nothing," Gail responded, not being able to stop her eyes from spilling around the room once more.

Holly followed Gail's gaze. "You see someone you know?"

Gail scoffed. "What in here?" she asked incredulously, "Not much chance of that. It's an Italian but they don't do pizza." She raised an eyebrow, "The people I know would think that's crazy."

Holly laughed as she leaned back again in her chair. She felt relaxed and totally charmed by Gail actually bringing her here, regardless of how uncomfortable is was actually making Gail feel. She had done it for her, and she knew she was going to have to do something to make Gail feel just as special soon too. "So why are you people watching?" Holly asked, drinking some more from her glass.

Gail stared at her for a moment, not really sure if she should be honest and tell Holly what she was thinking. It probably wasn't the time or place but, when did that ever stop her? She raised a brow. "Do you ever feel awkward?"

Holly immediately wondered where this was going. Her lips fell into a tight smile. "Awkward how?"

Gail shrugged and she leaned on the table. "Just, around everyone else." She looked to the table next to them as if to enforce her point.

Holly glanced that way but then looked back at Gail and tried to gauge her thinking. Was _this_ really _that_ gay conversation? Here? "I'm not sure I follow."

Gail was making herself feel awkward. She flicked her hair over her shoulder and had some more wine. She didn't want to say the words to make herself clear. Instead she just looked at Holly and tried to make her understand with the power of her bullish look.

Holly guessed Gail's meaning by her apprehensive expression and decided to throw her a rope. She leaned forward on the table, too. "Honestly? No."

Gail felt the intensity of Holly's eyes on her. She had to look away, briefly. She didn't particularly believe her, either. "What, ever?" she asked, feeling a little hot, all of a sudden.

Holly just shook her head, and the way she held herself in that moment, her body language open, her shoulders back, her one hand around her glass and the other resting half way across the table between them made Gail instantly changed her mind. Right then Gail thought Holly had never been ashamed in her life. Holly finished the wine in her glass. "Do you feel awkward, Gail?"

Gail's tongue poked out and absently softened her lips. She thought about it, being sat here, out for the first time as a couple with her girlfriend, in public, and she wondered how she'd react if someone she did know was there. Seeing her sat across a table from Holly and having a romantic evening together; anyone could see it was a date.

And she didn't care.

She reached out her hand and laid it on top of Holly's. "No," she said, "I don't feel awkward being here with you." It lit her up how big Holly's grin was. "I really don't care what people think."

Holly knew there was something though, Gail was feeling apprehensive about something but she didn't particularly want serious conversation. She wanted more than anything for this date to be fun and easy. "I'm glad," she responded.

Holly grabbed the wine bottle and topped up their glasses. "So," she started, feeling not for the first time in the company of this woman absolutely amazing. "Why don't you tell me about your day?"

* * *

"So," Holly began, tucking heartily into her tagliatelle. "Chloe's better, then?"

Gail frowned around her mouthful of linguini, remembering her manners for the type of establishment they were in before she spoke. "Sort of," she replied, reaching out for her wine. "She's awake and alert but she's going to be in recovery for a while."

"Mm, that's common with that type of neck injury." Holly gestured with her knife about her plate, "She was very lucky it wasn't much, much worse." Holly had seen many a gunshot wound during her medical training and the vast majority of them never turned out well. Her eyes flicked over Gail momentarily as her mind jumped to when Gail told her she was shot at while responding to a call with Oliver that very same day, before she quickly returned her attention to her food. She shuddered, not allowing herself to think about such things, not right now. She knew she would at some stage though, and she could quite realistically see herself worrying immensely about Gail's job and all it entailed but right now she couldn't. Right now all she wanted was the banter and the stolen glances and the lazy lay ins whenever they both could swing it, and so she pushed the thought of guns right out of her head.

Gail raised her eyebrows and nodded, not wanting to think about how Dov would've coped with anything other than Chloe getting better.

"They'll want to keep an eye on her for quite a while." Holly finished.

Gail thought back to all the waiting and heartache Dov went through while they were waiting for Chloe to wake up. All the not knowing whether she would live or die. It frustrated her even to remember it; he was so distraught. "Her doctor wouldn't tell Dov anything for ages. He was so worried; I've never seen him like that before." She frowned, trying to remember what the Doctor actually said. "He eventually said something about a carotid artery injury..."

Holly nodded, taking a sip from her wine and leaning back in her chair."The problem is there's a huge amount of important structures in such a small area with the neck, injury to any might not be readily apparent on initial examination so that's why it's important to carry out thorough and repetitive checks. It takes time to get it right."

"See, this is another reason I'm glad I have you. You cut through all that psychobabble crap."

Holly watched Gail eat another mouthful of pasta and she wondered if she was just trying to push her buttons. Holly couldn't resist, though. She had to bite. "It's not psychobabble, sometimes it's the most accurate diagnosis there is."

"Being told nothing is an accurate diagnosis?"

Holly smirked at the glint in Gail's eye. She sighed. Gail would be one of those people in the waiting room, wouldn't she? Argumentative. "A doctor always presents the most relevant information-"

"-No they don't."

Holly sighed again, and drank some more wine. Gail was playing with her. She laughed, "Yes they do! There's an acute psychology to it, you know that. You're a police officer, you know about delivering bad news in the worst situations." Holly absently ran her thumb down the side of her glass. "It's awful."

Gail leaned forward on the table. "Is that why you prefer working with people who are already dead?"

Holly felt a little like she was under interrogation and she shifted in her seat. She knew Gail was challenging so she didn't know why she expected anything other than tough questions. She sort of, leaned her head to the side as she pondered how to answer. "There are certainly benefits. I like figuring out the story a dead body has to tell."

Gail just looked at her, and Holly got the distinct impression she was analysing every word she said.

Holly grinned. "Besides, I've always preferred patients who don't talk back."

Gail smiled. She could definitely see the benefit in that. "You were one of those kids weren't you, dissecting everything you could find."

Holy chucked and nodded, remembering how much fun that was. "Yeah, it fascinated me. I spent way too much time poking that frog in school while all the other kids went out to play."

Gail could imagine and it made her smile thinking about a little Holly with pigtails getting excited over a dead frog, getting crazy with a scalpel and not being bothered about blood and guts. "Was it always what you wanted to do?" Gail watched as Holly's face delighted in the memory. She was so cute.

"I always wanted to do something with science, and when I grew up I became fascinated by the human body, how it works and how it's constructed. I just loved the idea of being able to solve a puzzle by examining a body and applying what I know. There's an element of Sherlock Holmes to it, isn't there? It's just intriguing."

Gail stifled a laugh at how animated Holly got through that. It was like her body couldn't contain the excitement of what she was saying and it translated in little flicks of her wrists and twitches of her lips. She was such a nerd. "I knew that was going to end with some kind of nerd reference," Gail said as she physically felt her heart opening to this wonderful creature with each passing second. "I saw it a mile off."

Holly shrugged. "I can't help it. Just as well you're into nerds huh?"

"Only the hot ones." It was out before she could stop it and it caught both of them by surprise. Gail checked herself and decided to refill their glasses from the bottle cooling at the side of their table. She knew she was blushing and wished she could dunk her face in the ice bucket.

Holly didn't think her smile could get any bigger and she just stared mesmerised at Gail in front of her. She obviously knew Gail found her attractive but hearing her say it out loud like that was very welcome. So off the cuff. She nodded as Gail held the bottle up indicating she would very much like some more wine. She wanted to ask so many things, there was so much about Gail she didn't know and she wanted to know everything. Nothing could be too much information. Holly had a naturally curious mind and she always sought out more information. She longed for the day she knew Gail inside out but she had also been told in the past that her thirst for knowledge could be a little overwhelming so she had learned to curb it, and she suspected this was the best way to approach Gail. She would share when she wanted to. Holly bit the inside of her lip; she would love to know when it was Gail started thinking about her in this way, when it was she started to want her, but she knew that kind of conversation would have to wait for another day.

Holly picked up her wine and sunk back in her chair; playful banter was the way to go, that's what they did, after all. "Well I guess you really did luck out, huh? Smart, funny and hot." Holly rested her elbows on the table and smiled cheekily. "What did you do to be so lucky?"

Gail really did blush and she dipped her head bashfully. She knew exactly how lucky she was. The corner of her mouth upturned. "I have no idea," she whispered. "So what did you do to deserve me?" She asked, a little more brightly.

"Wrong place, wrong time I guess."

Gail looked honestly hurt and Holly burst out laughing. "I'm kidding. It was the best wrong place I've ever walked into." Her mouth fell into that sideways grin as Gail looked at her a little lost. Gail did an uncomfortable look very well.

"You need to watch it," Gail tried to quip, but she still felt a little flustered. "Or I'll stop being nice to you."

"Oh this has been you being nice, huh?"

"Yeah!" Gail pulled a face, "I could switch it off, you know." She shrugged.

Holly immediately backtracked. "Oh no," she hurried, "don't do that. I happen to like the nice Gail."

"Well then," Gail smiled, "don't push it."

Holly waited a moment, deciding exactly how to put the next thing she wanted to say. "That was the best crime scene I'd walked into in a long time," she started seriously, before she smiled warmly. It was heartfelt. "Even though you were rude, and tried your hardest to make me feel uncomfortable." She sighed, remembering the odd feeling of familiarity she felt with Gail even then, "I knew you were going to become important to me."

"How did you know that?"

Holly shrugged, not completely sure herself. She shook her head. "No idea. I just felt it."

Gail grinned affectionately. "Then I guess you really are lucky."

* * *

"You want to get dessert?"

Gail looked at her like that was a stupid question, "That's the best part of any meal. Of course I want dessert."

Holly didn't know why she was surprised, she had shared enough meals with Gail to know she wasn't a healthy eater and could certainly put away enough calories for them both, quite easily. Holly didn't like to think what her cholesterol was like. Personally, Holly could take dessert or leave it. "I'm not sure; I'll have to check out the menu." She looked around to try and summon a waiter.

Gail stared rather wide eyed, her mouth open slightly. "You don't want dessert ?" That was like morning without coffee. Holly had to be kidding.

When Holly looked back she laughed at Gail's incredulous expression, her elbows on the table and her hands clasped in front of her. "I didn't say that, I'm just a bit picky with puddings."

Gail was getting more shocked by the second. She sort of gasped, "Every pudding is a good pudding!"

"We're not all gannets like you, Gail. Not everyone has the ability to inhale food and keep the body you do." The very mention of it made Holly think back six days ago to when Gail was very naked in her bed and she had to look away, for a second.

Gail found it funny. "You so got a flashback, then," she teased, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Holly knocked back a generous sip of wine, swallowing it hard and her cheeks flushed a little. She felt the stirring in her gut, the one that had been keeping her awake at night, lately. "What are you kidding? It's been six days, Gail." She wasn't at all apologetic for the desperation that flashed across her face.

Gail tried to hide how happy that made her, as it meant Holly must've truly thought she was good if she wanted to do it again so badly. Gail picked up her glass and bought it to her lips.

Holly knew how it must sound but she didn't care. It was the truth. She was dying to be with Gail again, it was in her every thought distracting her every minute and with each day that went by it only got worse. She became very aware of her heavy heartbeat at each pulse point and the tension sizzling away between her legs. She sighed frustrated, trying as best she could to hold it all in. "When I was in court the other day, I was petrified I was going to say 'orgasm' instead of 'organism'-"

Gail had to stop her laugh from spraying wine everywhere. She managed to swallow it, but only just and then she brought the back of her hand up to wipe her lips. She giggled loudly finding that absolutely hilarious.

Holly started laughing too. "It's all I can think about," she admitted gleefully. "You're all I can think about," she added, a little more seriously.

Gail's sides hurt from how funny she found that. She looked at Holly, the smirk that touched her lips and her eyes that seemed to laugh, too. The way her shirt opened just enough to tease her, and the way when Holly leaned forward Gail could see exactly where she wanted to trail her tongue as she lay on top of her.

"Shall we skip dessert?" Gail asked suddenly, shifting a bit in her chair.

Of course Holly wanted to skip dessert. "Only if you can live without it," she conceded, not wanting to be the reason Gail missed a sweet treat.

Gail swung around to find the waiter, summoning him to bring the bill as she drew her signature in the air. He nodded his understanding. "Trust me; pudding isn't what I'm craving right now."

The look of urgency on Gail's face only turned Holly on more. "You know, I got you some cheese puffs in case you need a little extra sustenance next time you stay over," Holly admitted, biting her lower lip trying to look as cute as possible. She knew how Gail's mind worked and she knew that line was a winner.

Gail's face lit up in wonder, knowing without a doubt the best thing she ever did was kiss this girl in that interrogation room. "Are you asking me to stay over?" she asked, even though the answer was obvious.

"Definitely."

The waiter came over and placed the bill on the table and Gail threw a wad of notes down to cover it, pretty much jumping up from the table and pulling Holly up by her hand. "Let's go," she hummed, her eyes colouring with desire. They picked up their coats and Gail quickly lead Holly out of the restaurant, their fingers entwined and Holly hot on her heels ready to take her home and make up for lost time.

* * *

_I know I keep saying it, but thanks for all the reviews, faves and follows! it makes my day seeing them all in my inbox :) thank you so, so much!  
_


	6. Chapter 6: the penny

_Hey! Sorry to keep you waiting for this, it was meant to be done on Saturday but ya know, what with Christmas things going on and all that._

_So I know I said 'all the drama' and there's a teeny amount of drama in this but not as much as I had planned as, well, this scene just seemed to want to go on forever! So more drama will ensue, but I shall also try and break that up with some stuff I know you guys probably want ;) So keep your eye out for the next one._

_Thanks again for all your reviews and constant faves and follows! Some of you guys have awesome usernames :)_

_So here it is and oh, Merry Christmas :)_

* * *

Gail threw her jack and coke back and landed her glass heavily on the bar in front of her, gasping dramatically as if the whiskey burned her throat. It didn't, it was just something she did. She was nervous, and she was getting sick of always feeling so nervous.

"Isn't that your third?" Traci asked, eyeing Gail cautiously as she came up to stand next to her.

"No." Gail responded, her face contorted. The bartender placed another drink in front of her. "That's my third," she said, moving to pick up the glass.

Traci put her hand on Gail's wrist to stop her from knocking that one back, too. "Gail, do you really want to be on your back when Holly gets here?"

Gail looked at her and an eyebrow shot up.

"Don't answer that." Traci said quickly with a muted shake of her head. She sighed. "Just relax, it's not that big of a deal. It's just drinks."

"I know that," Gail hurried.

"And it's going to be fine. Everyone is going to love Holly."

Gail took a deep breath. "I also know that," she admitted. Why would anyone not love Holly? She was very loveable. "It's just-"

"-Just what?"

Gail looked at her, and she honestly seemed terrified. Her eyes screamed it. Traci felt for her, she really did but Gail needed to learn how to let it go, just a little bit.

"Are you going to tell me what you're really scared of?" Traci continued.

"It's the 'S' word," Steve offered, knowing exactly what the problem was. He approached the bar to the other side of Gail. "Little sister is worried it's getting serious, isn't that right?"

Gail turned to Steve and he looked right through her. She hated how much he knew her. She rolled her eyes, already having enough of this conversation. "Oh shut up."

Steve smiled, and Traci threw him a wide eyed glare thinking he was being entirely inappropriate. "Is that the best you got?" He asked, laughing.

Gail was awash with emotions, least of all thinking this whole thing was such a bad idea. She blamed Chris. 'Bring Holly to the Penny' he had said, and now here she was, dying inside.

Gail clocked Holly enter the bar and she panicked. They were all going to know weren't they, how much she felt for her. What exactly she meant to her. They were all going to see her affection plastered all over her face and then that would be it.

Steve leaned in closer to her. "Are you going to go and say hi?"

Holly was talking to Oliver over by the door. She hadn't got very far seeing as how packed the place was, and now Dov was talking to her too. Gail swallowed, hard, and licked her lips. She moved toward Holly without saying another word.

Traci slapped Steve on the arm. "That was mean."

Steve was grinning. "This is going to be a train wreck," he snickered and Traci hit him again. Harder.

"Steve! She needs our help."

"No," Steve started, shooting a look at the bartender. "She needs to help herself." He shook his head. "Gail always learns the hard way, I'm just glad Holly wants to stick around for it."

Traci watched as Gail stood awkwardly opposite Holly, Dov and Ollie carrying on with their conversation with no one particularly taking any notice of the disjointed blond who had joined them. She examined Gail's body language, her awkwardness and her nervous demeanor. "You think Gail loves her, then?"

Steve grinned. "Yep. It's written all over her."

Traci leaned against the bar, observing the softness in Holly's expression as she looked at Gail who held her gaze for only a few moments before she dropped it to the floor, her thumbs hooking in her back pockets and she sort of fidgeted, a bit. Traci could see the apprehension, but not so much of the love. "Really?" She frowned, shaking her head. "I don't see it."

Steve turned around and leaned next to her, handing her a drink. "Well, that's because you didn't grow up with her," he drank from his glass and then pointed in his sisters direction. "Gail has always been petrified of her feelings, that'll never change." He drank some more. "But just watch her eyes. It's all in her eyes."

Traci frowned as she considered how that must be, to be scared of being in love. "That's sad."

"Yeah, but it'll be fun watching her come to terms with it." He hustled Traci towards a table where the rest of their colleagues were gathered. "C'mon, I want to get a front row seat."

Traci looked disgusted. "You are the worst brother ever."

* * *

"Hey," Holly said, as soon as she was able to catch Gail's eye. She had been doing a great job of not looking at Holly since she walked over to them.

Gail smiled tightly, exceptionally conscious of the guys either side of her. "Hi," she replied softly, her rugged exterior softening when she saw the warmth in Holly's eyes.

"So it'll be okay, then?" Dov asked Holly, ignoring the momentary lapse in their conversation. "She won't disrupt anything, or pull anything, or make anything any worse?"

Gail took note of the conversation for the first time since she came over. She had been too busy trying to silence the paranoia in her head and douse the apprehensive nervous feeling in her chest. She wondered when it would go away permanently, but then tried to shake that thought away as well.

She managed to catch a glimpse of Holly out of the corner of her eye as she looked at Dov, so of course then she tried to ogle her in that discreet way where she'd hoped no one would notice. She screwed her face up in Dov's general direction. "What are you talking about?"

"Dov here is asking Holly for her medical opinion in regard to Chloe breaking doctor's advice and socializing in a group situation, such as this one." Oliver chipped in.

Holly smiled that big, beautiful smile she did when she found something entirely amusing. "I'm really not that kind of doctor-"

"No but you know, right? You can give a kind of general, professional opinion?" Dov was clearly looking for an out so he could command his girlfriend back to rest.

Holly fidgeted a little, and ummed and ahhed for a second or two.

Gail glared at Dov wishing he would just go away.

"I wouldn't recommend anything against doctors orders, she hasn't been discharged that long, has she?"

"Two weeks," Dov replied.

"What happened to her husband, anyway?" Gail chimed in, not seeing the awkward look Oliver was giving her.

Dov shifted, not really expecting it so blatantly but then it was coming from Gail, after all. "Err, well, he's gone. Or backed off." He raised his eyebrows, hoping that would do but the inquisitive looks from both Oliver and Gail told him otherwise. Holly just found interest in the floor. "And Chloe's changed her next of kin so hopefully he won't be showing up again unannounced."

There was a pause, and Oliver was ready to accept that before Gail spoke again.

"But he's still her husband?" Gail shrugged, not at all afraid of the elephant in the room. Or at least the one concerning Dov's relationship.

Dov sighed. "It's complicated. He wouldn't grant the divorce so they have to wait. She doesn't want him though, and that's the main thing. I'm more bothered about her getting better which is why I don't think tonight is a good idea."

He was clearly trying to change the subject so Oliver thought it a good idea to intervene before Gail could say something else, and if Chloe wanted a few hours away from her four walls she really didn't need Dov being so protective. He placed a hand on Holly's shoulder. "Right so, if Chloe takes it easy, doesn't drink and is home before 9 there can't be much harm in her coming out, right?"

He looked at Holly for support who was actually glad for the conversation to return to her being the wrong kind of doctor. That was slightly less awkward than this. She decided putting Dov's mind at rest was the way to go. "An hour or so really shouldn't make too much difference and a change of scenery might help."

Oliver looked pleased with her reply and Dov seemed to concede his argument, knowing he was beaten. Gail was annoyed Holly was even being asked the question. As if she wanted to be dragged into the middle of something like this ten minutes after walking in.

"But definitely no alcohol, or stress. Of any kind." Holly finished, hoping they could now move onto something different altogether.

Dov went to protest but changed his mind at Gail's loud sigh and roll of her eyes. She was clearly unimpressed at the entire situation but honestly she was happy for the distraction Chloe might bring with her. If they were all too worried about her it might take some of the focus off her and Holly. Not that anyone seemed all that bothered right then. It was Gail's mind that was causing the problem.

Instead Dov turned to Gail. "Hear that, Gail?" he asked. "No stress. So when she gets here be nice."

Gail frowned and then played up the exaggerated smile on her face. "Oh, Dov. I'm always nice." She batted her eyelids for emphasis.

Oliver scoffed and then covered it with a cough at Gail's poisonous look.

"What?" She directed at him.

Holly was giggling at the exchange. She was yet to experience Gail amongst her friends so close up and it was funny how they teased her. The look on Gail's face told Holly she hadn't really been expecting such a thing from Oliver, who was standing there trying to look innocent under Gail's glare. Holly knew that probably out of all of them, Gail liked him the most. He was certainly the one she usually talked about whenever she volunteered information about work.

"Nothing!" Oliver grinned, grabbing Gail's arm and shaking it a little. "Now can we all get back to what we're here for? On the good doctor's advice," he gestured toward Holly who offered him a cautionary look. He held his hands up, "Who isn't really that kind of doctor, I know, but is the next best thing at this hour, I declare it drinking time!"

Holly started laughing and Gail watched as Holly's neck tilted back a little, her hair falling away from her face. Gail couldn't stop the smile from touching her lips as her eyes examined how beautiful she was. The moment maybe lasted a little too long and then she heard Oliver's voice. Gail immediately dropped her attention to the floor.

"So!" Oliver began, slapping Gail on the back. "You lovely ladies care for a beverage?"

Gail saw the knowing look on his face and she tried to shoot him with as much contempt as she could. It wasn't working however, and she knew it.

He pointed at her. "I know what you drink." His smile was getting bigger by the second. "Holly?"

Gail rolled her eyes and her uncomfortable feeling tripled. Right then she wished she was anywhere but where she was. She looked at Dov who thankfully wasn't paying any attention, tapping a message out on his phone.

"Jack and coke, please." Holly replied.

Gail cringed, knowing what was coming.

"Aw. Same drink." His grin was off his face. "Isn't that sweet."

Holly was certain Gail was going to hit him, or something. Her eyes were getting steelier by the second.

Oliver wasn't that mean, however, even though he had enough ammunition on this to make Gail uncomfortable all month. But he wouldn't do that. He was sure he caught a glimpse of happiness there in Gail's eye when she looked at Holly and he was just glad it was happening. He threw a smile at Holly. "Dov? A hand at the bar, please."

They walked away and Gail's eyes followed them, unbelievably grateful they'd gone. Holly touched her arm and Gail's head snapped to her and for the first time that evening, she felt a calm settle over her.

"You okay?" Holly asked, knowing she wouldn't be.

Gail pressed her lips together and stepped a little more into Holly's touch. "Yeah," she breathed, nodding her head.

Holly could see she was lying, her body language similar to when she surprised Gail at the station before 15 went to find Oliver. She squeezed Gail's arm one more time before she returned her hand to her pocket. "Do you want me to go?"

"No," Gail said almost immediately. She didn't want that.

Holly tried to gauge what it was Gail did want. She could feel the apprehension coming off her in waves. It had to be because she was there; Holly was the only variable in this 'after work at the Penny' dynamic. Holly frowned, a little. "Do you want _us_ to go?"

Gail looked at her, and she felt her chest warm at Holly's concern. She shook her head again. "No," she repeated, and then she swallowed. It was funny, but strangely she felt like she could do pretty much anything as long as Holly was there to hold her hand. Gail looked away and pulled her head out of that thought. She was coming over all emotional and she didn't want that, not here. She looked back at Holly and she wondered, albeit briefly, when it was that she had turned into such a girl. "I want us to stay," she smiled, trying not to think about it.

"Okay." Holly replied, although she did ponder where this evening would take them, but luckily Holly wasn't daunted by this sort of social interaction. She was just really worried about Gail.

"Gail, Holly!"

They both turned in the general direction of Oliver's voice. He was stood by a table where everyone else was already gathered.

"Over here!"

Gail sighed and pulled her shoulders back. "Right," she said, plastering on her steely veneer. She licked her lips and reached out for Holly's finger tips. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

"Dov," Gail started, nursing easily her seventh drink but still feeling worryingly sober. She smiled at him wondering not for the first time in her life, why men were so stupid. "If you don't put your phone away it will be shortly enjoying this drink with me, from the bottom of my glass."

Dov sighed heavily. He finished his message quickly and thumped the phone down on the table. "It's Chloe," he stated, grabbing his beer and taking a long drink from it.

She faked surprise. "Really?"

"I just really don't want her to come. She needs rest."

Gail sighed. "Let me explain something to you." She swiveled in her seat so she was facing him square on. "If Chloe wants to come she will, and no amount of text messages you can send will change that."

Dov was instantly confused as to why Gail wanted to give him advice, especially regarding Chloe.

"It's the female prerogative. The more you protest, the more she'll want to do it." Gail swung herself back around to face the table and shrugged. "It's what we do. So just let it happen. No stress, remember?"

Dov contemplated her words and for some reason it made a lot of sense. He didn't like it, but maybe he should just go with it. He raised an eyebrow, "Thanks, Gail." It was an odd feeling, having Gail say something to try and help his relationship with Chloe. It made him wonder if she was winding up for a killer blow, but nothing came.

Gail just nodded her head and went back to her drink. She looked at Holly who was sat next to her, deep in conversation with Oliver to her immediate right and Celery next to him. It was obvious the bulk of the conversation was between Holly and Celery and Oliver was just caught in the middle.

Dov started a conversation with Chris who was sat to his left and Gail took the opportunity to examine the people sat around her. She got lost in her own thoughts; something that happened quite a lot to her, even more so since she'd met Holly. She could sit for hours, just thinking and staring into space, her mind working overtime on possible scenarios; her life up until this point and where it might go from here. What Holly meant to her, how she fit into her life. How much Gail actually wanted her to be in her life and what that would mean to other people. Like her family... That's where Gail usually stopped thinking and started doing something else. Like laundry, or something.

She finished her drink and put the empty glass down on the table, her fingers remaining gripped around it, however. Not that she thought her family would have an opinion about it, other than outwardly supportive, and by her family she meant her mother. She was sure her mother would be perfectly amicable, would probably comment about Gail not telling her sooner, and then she'd pretty much make a show about wanting to meet Holly. As with anything else that Elaine Peck became involved in, it was about the underlying connotations and the snide remarks, the overwhelming sense of disappointment that Gail always seemed to provide her with that she just _had_ to point out at every opportunity. She didn't really want Holly to see it, or to get sucked into the politics of being a Peck that she of course would, if she was going to date one.

Gail sighed heavily and looked at Holly, or rather at the side of her as she was still talking with Celery and she felt her face soften. Gail always wanted it to be how it was now, because in this moment it was easy. Pretty much most of her friends were here and it was just like any other night at the Penny. Drinks, laughter and easy banter. Or easy banter for them. Not her. Gail never found banter easy, except when it was with Holly.

Holly fit right in; she had joked with Chris across the table, spoken with her brother and Traci and for the past half hour had been lost in conversation with Celery about something Gail had no idea about. No one had asked any questions, made any awkward innuendo or gay reference and Gail was simply in awe at how Holly did it. In an evening she had made friends with strangers; she was relaxed and her body language totally open. She was never closed and every now and again Holly would flick her hair over her shoulder and cast a glance in Gail's direction just to make sure she was okay. It made that big wall inside Gail crumble a little each time Holly did it and Gail was very aware she was more than likely very unprepared for the relationship she was embarking upon. She knew she didn't really know how to deal with it but she gravitated toward it all the same. She couldn't help it. There was just something about Holly she needed to be around.

Holly made her happier than she had ever been and it was enough to make her want to brave it. She made Gail feel safe and she made her laugh. She made her happy to wake up in a morning and go to work, even though some awful things had happened and awful things continued to happen, in their little bubble everything was amazing because Gail got to come home to her at night. It was all so sickeningly normal but Gail loved it. She loved every second of it.

It scared her, though, and Gail was still waiting for the fall. When it all came crashing down around her when the fear got too much for her. Gail swallowed it back, though, choosing not to go there.

Holly leaned back in her chair as she laughed at something Oliver said. She moved so she was centre on to the table and her hand reached out and found out Gail's thigh, squeezing it gently under the table before she moved it to pick up her drink. Their eyes met briefly before Holly looked away and Gail was filled with not only a sense of such utter calm, but also that familiar connection between them. That sense of belonging and Gail's chest immediately tingled. She was suddenly warm and she felt satisfied in a most peculiar way. She still didn't understand it, how Holly could do such a thing to her with a simple look but she loved it, and her eyes glistened with it.

Traci leaned into Steve and nudged him lightly, her eyes not leaving Gail for the last ten minutes. "I see what you mean," she smiled warmly, whispering into his ear.

Steve pulled out of his conversation with Chris and Dov and followed Traci's gaze to Gail. He smiled, too. "Told you."

Steve went back to his conversation and Gail caught Traci's look from across the table. Gail's brow furrowed at her friends rather tender expression and even more so at the knowing grin and Gail immediately rolled her eyes. That was bound to be an inquisitive conversation next time they were alone. Gail sighed, again, pointedly.

Dov shot up from the table and everyone turned to him before they heard Chloe speak.

"Hey guys," she said happily, approaching the table from the bar.

Dov was at her side immediately and Chloe sort of shrugged him off.

Traci was on her feet first, followed quickly by everyone else. "Oh my God, Chloe!" she began, "how are you? It's so good to see you!" Traci went over to her and hugged her gingerly, the bandage covering the side of her neck glaringly obvious against her skin.

"I'm fine," Chloe smiled. She gestured in front of her. "Really, guys, don't get up." She held onto Traci's arm as they pulled out of the hug, Dov hovering just behind her.

"Chloe it's really good to see you," Chris offered.

"Thanks, Chris," she said in reply.

"It's great to have you back kid, seriously," Oliver started, "we missed you."

Chloe started giggling and everyone sat back down, each making their own greeting to Chloe as Dov lead her back to his chair. Dov gestured for Chloe to take his seat and she paused as she met Gail's eye. There was an uncharacteristically sympathetic look on Gail's face and Chloe didn't know what to do with it. "Hey, Gail," she said, forcing a smile.

Gail smiled and she was off her chair enveloping Chloe in a massive hug before she knew what hit her. Gail didn't really know what prompted it, it just felt like the right thing to do. "I'm glad you're okay," Gail said softly before she pulled back, smiling at her with something that resembled kindness.

Everyone looked at Gail a little shocked, Dov most of all and even more so when Gail offered Chloe her chair. "What?" she asked, glancing around her. "I can be nice."

Everyone sort of laughed and Chloe took the offered seat, Dov sitting in his feeling like he had entered an alternate reality. Holly's hand touched Gail's back as she stood up and Gail turned, choosing to ignore Holly's raised eyebrow and opting to try and figure how both of them were going to sit in one chair.

Holly sat down first, pushing herself to the back so Gail could sit in front of her between her legs. It wasn't the most comfortable position and Holly had to hook her heel on the cross-frame and sort of sit a little to the side. Gail sat more toward Chloe and immediately started asking her about her injury without an ounce of tact. Luckily Chloe didn't seem to mind and Holly just laughed, turning back toward Oliver as she felt him tap her on the shoulder.

"You can definitely stay," he said quietly with a gentle nod to Gail.

Holly didn't really get it, but it made her smile nonetheless.

* * *

Holly had been holding off on the physical contact all evening, not too sure really where the boundaries were but honestly, it was completely difficult with them being sat like this. She wanted to wrap her arms around Gail's waist, pull her back a little so she could tighten her thighs against the outside of Gail's. She wanted to run her hands up Gail's arms, across her stomach, along her legs…

Holly wanted to lean in to the back of Gail's neck and whisper in her ear, kiss the edge of her jaw, move her hair away from her neck and trail her lips along it.

Actually, Holly just really wanted to take Gail home.

She smiled to herself and tried to quieten the thoughts in her head. She was here to socialize with Gail's friends and she couldn't be more happy in doing so. It meant something, didn't it, when your girlfriend invited you out with her friends for the first time. Even if Gail had looked completely terrified when she was doing it.

Holly watched as Gail talked enthusiastically with Traci across the table, her body language considerably more relaxed than when they first walked to the table, Gail's fingers immediately dropping from hers as they picked their way through the crowd and came into view of everyone else.

Gail was perched on the very edge of the chair and she was leaning forwards, her elbows resting firmly on her knees but when she laughed she leaned backwards, momentarily reaching out to place her hand on Holly's thigh as if she had forgotten where she was. It was only there for a second though before she lifted it off again as if her brain was slow to catch up with what her hand was doing.

Holly flinched at the contact, not expecting it at all. Gail looked over her shoulder and saw Holly was looking at her, her lips apparently unsure whether they should be in a smirk or not and so they were somewhere in between as if to compensate.

"You look like you're thinking something," Gail inquired, turning slightly so she didn't have to crane her neck so much to talk to her.

Holly just smiled, trying not to let her eyes betray her. "No," she started with a shake of her head, "just wondering what you're talking about." She gestured to Steve and Traci with the glass in her hand.

Gail frowned. "Liar." She pulled her lips into a playful smile and scooted a bit further towards Holly in the chair.

Holly grinned. Even though Gail usually hid it, she could sometimes be amazingly perceptive and it seemed she could see right through Holly, just as Holly could see through her. More often than not though Holly wouldn't call Gail on it, because she didn't want her to feel awkward but Gail however, and just now proved it, quite liked to make Holly squirm. In a room full of people no less.

Holly sighed and she sat forward in an attempt to keep their conversation private. "I was wondering how you were feeling, about all this, with me here, I mean." Holly was looking right into Gail's eyes and Gail didn't drop it for a moment, or flinch, or seem in anyway uncomfortable which Holly immediately attributed to the amount of liquor she had consumed. Gail just continued to gaze at her fondly and Holly reluctantly succumbed. She could get lost in those blue eyes. "Okay, I was also thinking about kissing you, and taking you to bed."

An eyebrow went up at that. Holly couldn't take it and she looked away, laughing a little at why she was feeling uncomfortable when she was the one with the suggestive answer. Gail's stare was making her feel warm, all of a sudden.

Gail knew she was a bit drunk, and she knew she was teasing Holly unfairly here, but she didn't care. She liked it when Holly fell apart a little, as Gail felt like that all the time, even though she could hide it quite well. "Holly," Gail began, her words looser because of all the Jack. "I am fine here with you. I thought I wouldn't be, but I am."

Holly was once more struck by Gail's honesty and she chose to take that in the nice way she hoped Gail intended. _Definitely all those Jack and cokes_, Holly thought.

"I love that my friends like you," Gail continued, making doubly sure her voice was just above a whisper. "and I love that you are here, with me."

Holly's heart was pounding with Gail throwing the l-word around like that. She wondered if it was intentional or if Gail was just playing with her in her drunken state. Her thoughts were interrupted though before she could ponder any longer.

Gail leaned in as close as she could without actually touching her. "I would also love for you to kiss me right now," she said huskily before she pulled back. "But I don't think they're quite ready for that."

Holly just stared at her slack-jawed as Gail grinned, a look of immense self-satisfaction on her face before she got up and turned back toward the table. She stood out of and to the side of Holly's legs.

"Anyone want another drink?" she asked, looking first of all at Traci and her brother before she scanned everyone else.

Gail came eye to eye with Nick as he approached the table from the other side and she stopped, her face dropping drastically as her mood drained from her. His smile was so tight it was practically a grimace, almost as if he was preparing himself for whatever she was going to sling his way. Gail's face was impassive, reticent. Her walls instantly going right back up.

Everyone's gaze followed Gail's and a silence descended, awkwardness settling in immediately and no one had a clue what to say, or if anyone should even try and preempt what was about to happen.

"Hey," Nick said, glancing briefly at everyone before looking back to Gail. He fidgeted as he felt the heat of her daggers and then to make matters worse, Andy appeared, standing just behind him.

Gail didn't move an inch; she just stared. Her expression stoic and not even Holly knew in which direction this was going to go. She wanted to reach out to Gail, touch her leg, take her hand in her own, anything, but she didn't. All attention was firmly on the three standing up and Holly assumed an affectionate gesture on her part would only antagonize things.

"Hey guys," Andy said, her head dipping and her shoulders slumped.

Andy looked worn out and even though Gail was standing a distance away she could see the darkness around her eyes. She was a shadow of her former self and Nick seemed burned-out, too, but Gail told herself she didn't care. Why should she? She didn't owe either of them anything.

Traci was the first to speak, her concern for her friend overwhelming. "Andy how are you?" she asked, completely worried by her demeanor.

"I'm fine," Andy replied, her eyes totally betraying her. There was no way she was fine.

Gail battled with herself internally. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Chloe sitting rather uneasily in her chair, Dov's hand covering hers on the table in a comforting gesture, obviously concerned things were going to kick off. Steve looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there and Oliver was poised and ready to intervene at any moment. Traci's concern in that moment was for Andy and Gail immediately hated it, but then Traci was nice like that and Andy did look awful. She was pitiful, obviously guilt ridden and it having everything to do with her feelings for both Sam and Nick, but Gail didn't care about that, either. She told herself she didn't care about any of it, that she didn't care a dime about how Andy was feeling.

"Andy how's Sam?" Chloe asked in a tiny voice. Her fingers rubbing the back of her neck gently.

Andy's eyes glassed over, her face taking on an inescapable expression of pain. "No change," she replied, her voice breaking.

Gail heard Holly clear her throat to the other side of her and she dropped her attention to her. Gail looked down at her, ran her eyes over the softness of Holly's frame, the undeniable sort of elegance in her mere presence and Gail thought, right then, how horrible it must be to have someone you love in hospital, in critical condition. Gail's face changed and she felt something, like an overwhelming ache that struck her deep.

"We'll sit somewhere else," Nick suddenly said, having had enough of the stand-off and wanting to take Andy out of it.

"No." Gail said quickly, and everyone looked at her. She shifted uncomfortably where she stood and she didn't look at either Nick or Andy. Her expression seemed softer, somehow. "You can sit here. They're you friends too and I won't make them choose."

They all looked incredibly at her, not quite believing it. All except for Holly who just smiled, knowing how much this was taking for Gail to say even though she wasn't too fond of the depth of emotion Nick was able to command from her.

Both Nick and Andy looked surprised, but neither were going to fight it.

"Thanks, Gail," Nick said, immediately looking around for two more chairs.

His voice grated on her and for some reason she let it get to her. She let him aggravate her more than he should. "But I still hate you," she fired out, her eyes emotional and her frame rigid. Nick and Andy stopped moving and silence descended once more. "Both of you," Gail clarified, her bitterness tingling inside of her and she was unable to stop it from bubbling over. She turned getting ready to head to the bar, "And I don't think that'll ever change."

Gail turned on her heel and walked away, Holly turning in her chair to watch her go.

There was a moment before anyone dared speak and Nick just stared after her, not really expecting anything less from Gail. He grabbed a chair from a nearby table and offered it to Andy. She took it and pretty much slumped herself down, Traci immediately sliding over to her to make sure she was okay.

Nick leaned toward Andy, "I'll get us some drinks."

Holly was immediately out of her chair. "I don't think that's a good idea," she said before she really had a chance to think about it. She looked toward the bar where Gail was already downing a shot of what she could only assume was tequila. She turned back to Nick, "I mean with Gail," Holly tried to explain, gesturing over her shoulder, and then she smiled. "Why don't I get them? What do you drink? Andy?"

Nick was surprised, not really knowing who this woman was or why she was intervening in the whole thing but he really didn't care. He was fine with not going anywhere near Gail right then. Andy recognized her from when she picked Gail up after the chemical burn fiasco but chose not to comment on it.

"Sure. Beer, thanks." He replied, before going to find another seat.

"The same, please." Andy said, "Anything."

Holly smiled and turned ready to go and calm Gail down before Oliver got up behind her. "Holly," he started, placing a hand on her arm. She looked at him quizzically, he had a strange look of something resembling pride on his face. "I don't know what you're doing but please, carry on."

"Excuse me?" She had no idea what he was talking about.

"That back there. Old Gail would've kicked off, shouted, screamed. There would've been blood, or at least some very hurtful and inappropriate comments."

Holly just shook her head a little, completely sure he was over-exaggerating.

Oliver smiled, his eyes taking on a genuine warmth. "I mean she still got one in there at the end but really, believe me when I say this," he squeezed her shoulder before he let it go, "you can definitely, definitely stay." He nodded and then went back to Celery.

Holly didn't know what she felt. Flattered, maybe? But she didn't have time to think about it, she turned and went over to Gail.

* * *

"You okay?" Holly asked as she leaned on the bar next to her.

Gail threw her a look that said she was anything but.

Holly just smiled and ordered two beers.

"Who are they for?" Gail asked, her eyes back to their frostiness.

Holly grimaced.

Gail faced her. "Are they for them?!"

Holly paid for the drinks. "I thought it was better than Nick coming over here and doing it himself."

Gail just looked at her. She might've had a point but she still didn't want Holly buying drinks for her ex and his new, _play thing_.

"I thought you were great, back there." Holly said, nudging their shoulders together.

Gail just sighed and rested her elbows on the bar. "Talk about ruining the mood," she sighed, frowning and it made Holly smirk. "I think I might need to get out of here."

"You don't think you can sit with them, for a few minutes?"

Gail looked at her and she saw something in Holly's eyes. Like doubt, or something. "It's not like I couldn't, I just don't particularly want to."

Holly just nodded, not sure if she should be thinking about Gail still being hung up on him.

Gail sighed, and really tried to blow all of the frustration out of her. "Can we just go home, please?" She ran her fingers discreetly down the side of Holly's forearm and gathered them in Holly's hand.

Gail's eyes seemed to plead with her and Holly didn't have the heart to argue with her, or to question her on what was going on. She knew Gail didn't want him anymore, Gail had pretty much told her so but for some reason the strength of her emotion back there made her worry, even though she knew she shouldn't.

"Of course," Holly smiled, knowing instinctively by 'home' Gail meant her place. The very sentiment was almost enough to disperse Holly's fears.

But only almost.

* * *

_Thanks for reading :) and I'm hoping the next one will come quicker..._


	7. Chapter 7: the l word

_Well heeelllooooo! Hope y'all had a great Christmas :)_

_Dirty Dancing has just come on so I'll keep this brief! Baby is carrying a watermelon..._

_I'm not sure if I've told you I like getting reviews, so please keep them coming ;) your feedback is always awesome. honestly, it really is._

_And yes I am English with a distinct lack of knowing many Canadians at all so please feel free to msg me on twitter! :) the fate of my story could depend on it!  
_

_So this carries on right from the end of the last. Well, sort of and if you're not already sitting down then maybe you should, and if you're in a public place or even worse, with family maybe you should excuse yourself pretty much now..._

_I must issue a SEVERE SMUT warning! If you **do not** like reading about two women getting it on, then **read no more!** But it still remains in context with the rest of the story (I hope). So it's not just gratuitous sex for the sake of gratuitous sex. Even though everyone loves a bit of that, right ?_

_So enjoy!_

* * *

Gail couldn't sleep.

She was lying flat on her stomach with her arms wrapped around her pillow. Her eyes refused to stay closed for more than a few minutes before they snapped back open, and rested on the curve of Holly's shoulder lying about an arms-length away from her.

Holly was lying with her back to her. She was lying on her side, facing away from her and she had fallen asleep pretty much as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Gail, however, had too much on her mind.

They had left the Penny as soon as Holly gave Andy and Nick their drinks, and then it took practically fifteen minutes to say goodbye to everyone, Traci especially taking at least ten minutes to thank Holly for coming.

Gail sighed and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling as the lamplight from outside cast a series of shadows across it. Holly was off with her, and Gail knew the exact reason why. Holly hadn't really said anything on the drive back to her apartment, just commented on how nice everyone was, and how nice it was to get to talk to them properly, outside of work.

Gail had been pissed off, of course. Pissed of that Nick had showed up and gate-crashed the party. Pissed off that Andy showed up and suddenly it was all about her, and her feelings, and what she was doing and what she was going through. Poor little Andy. Nick trailing after her like some love-sick puppy.

Gail cringed, and mentally slapped herself right across her face. She sat up in bed and again looked across to Holly, slumbering peacefully, as far as Gail could tell. A thin grey t-shirt covered her torso and the rest of her disappeared beneath the sheet that was gathered at her hips. Gail knew more than anything that she needed to stop getting so angry; she needed to leave it in the past where it belonged.

She knew what had been bothering Holly, that much was obvious. It had been playing on Holly's mind the entire journey home and when they had arrived back at the apartment. It was hard to imagine Holly could be insecure about anything, but it was clear she was worried about how upset Gail got whenever Nick was around, and Gail was sure the fact they worked together didn't help either but she just couldn't help it; he wound her up so much, and so did Andy...

Gail thought over their conversation of about three hours ago and a million things went through her head about how she could've dealt with it differently. Better. But it was Gail, after all. She felt that way about a lot of things, like she could deal with them a whole lot better, once it was too late.

"_You're mad, about something," Gail stated, rather than asked._

_They had only just walked through the front door and Holly stopped behind her sofa, half way through shrugging out of her jacket. She turned and smiled, the concerned look on Gail's face quite endearing._

"_I'm not mad," Holly said lightly, smiling as she deposited her jacket on the sofa._

_Gail stood just inside the doorway, not at all interested in taking her jacket off but wanting to get to the bottom of what was going on. "Yes, you are."_

_Holly started chuckling. "Really, I'm not."_

_Holly started pottering around, hanging her coat up and putting her keys on the coffee table. Gail just watched, not moving from where she was stood. Her hands out a little at her sides. Her face was frowning. She didn't know why Holly wasn't talking to her. "Well something's wrong," Gail eventually said, her eyes digging into Holly as she moved around._

_Holly sighed. She didn't really want to say. She knew she was being stupid and she didn't think there was anything more Gail could say than she had already that would put her mind at ease. Holly knew that she just had to work through it herself._

_Holly approached Gail and reached out for her arms, running her hands down their length till they were hand in hand. "Gail, really, I'm okay."_

_Gail's eyes told Holly she didn't believe her, and what's more they were peering at Holly with distress, like they were trying to figure out a puzzle and had no idea where to begin. They were cloudy, and Gail was clearly overwrought at the way Holly was being and so she relented._

_Holly sighed and took a moment to decide how she was going to put it. "It's no big deal, and I know there's nothing to it, but I," she sighed, again, getting agitated with herself. She felt a little, pathetic. She shrugged. "I just," and she couldn't look Gail in the eye. She felt awkward, and Gail was looking at her like she still didn't understand. "You seem so bothered, about him. Still."_

_Gail just raised her eyebrows. Of course she was bothered about him. But not in a way that should threaten Holly. "I'm bothered by both of them," she started, "but, Holly, I thought we already spoke about this-" her brow crinkled, a little._

_"-I know," Holly said, and a small slow smile touched her lips, "I know we have, and its fine." She wiggled Gail's hands, trying to wriggle the irrational thought out of her mind. "Really."_

_Gail took half a step forward, making Holly's gaze drift up to her. "I want to be with you," Gail said firmly, "no one else." She searched Holly's eyes, trying to find understanding there; an affirmation that she actually believed her but Gail couldn't tell what she saw._

_She wanted to say more. Explain again about the level of betrayal, how he had hurt her time after time, but she wasn't sure if that would help. Whether Holly would want to hear what he had once meant to her and therefore the reason it hurt so much, and that was without even starting on Andy..._

_She could see how awkward Holly looked, standing in front of her, shifting uneasily and Gail wanted to prove to her that she had absolutely nothing to worry about. She went to speak but she paused, a stammer poised right on the tip of her tongue. It was like she had too many things she wanted to say and she didn't know which to address first. Gail hated that even now, she still sucked at this._

_"But, Holly. I work with him," she started in a strained voice, knowing immediately it was probably the wrong thing to say. She shook her head, "He just makes me so mad..." _

_"I know," Holly said, filling the gap as Gail trailed off. She was still playing with Gail's fingers. "I know he does." Holly had to stop herself from fretting and letting this become an issue because it wasn't one, really. It was kind of absurd and she knew it. She made herself laugh, however inappropriate it was._

_Gail frowned even harder. "I don't really think it's funny."_

_"That's not why I'm laughing-"_

_"-So why are you?" Gail felt a little put out._

_Holly smiled at her. "Because I know you don't love him anymore."_

_Gail just shrugged, as if Holly Had finally found a clue._

_They just stood there, like that, both expecting the other to speak first but neither did._

_"Let's just go to bed, okay?" Holly suddenly said, her forehead scrunched up a little. "I'm tired."_

_Gail caught Holly's eye and the monologue she had been preparing in her head fell away from her. Holly just smiled, honestly weary from the evening at the Penny & ready to draw a line under the whole thing. She dropped Gail's hands, cupped the sides of her face and pulled Gail close for a fleeting kiss before she headed to the bathroom._

_Gail kicked herself. Why was it so damn hard to just tell Holly exactly how she felt? She wanted to; had ran it over in her mind at least five times before she was about to speak, but now the moment was gone. She felt deflated, like she was never going to get the hang of this. Gail sighed, loudly, took her jacket off and went into the bedroom._

Gail continued to stare at the ceiling. She cared more for Holly then she ever did for Nick, so even if he did piss her off it didn't matter, because Holly was the only thing that mattered, now. Gail looked at Holly, still slumbering peacefully.

_Why can't you just tell her? _she thought.

Tell her how she thought about her all the time, how she was always thinking about how she could make her happy. How she thought about her eyes, and her beautiful smile, and the way she tilted her head when she laughed. How, when Holly looked at her, for a moment Gail could forget everything horrible that had ever happened to her, and Gail felt like she had finally found the person for her. The one who just, got her. Through and through, no matter what.

_Because you're a fool_, her mind told her,_ that's why_.

Gail sighed heavily. She still didn't know how to articulate it. She didn't know how to phrase it so she wouldn't sound like an idiot, like some kind of love sick fool.

_But you are, aren't you?_

It didn't matter how hard she tried, or how desperately she wanted to be different this time, Gail just couldn't make herself do it. She couldn't talk about her feelings the way Holly could. She knew she felt them, but she just didn't know how to do this properly, at all, and she hated it, and she hated that Holly was suffering because the right words always seemed to escape her.

Gail sighed, frustrated, and ran her hands through her hair.

Holly murmured and Gail looked at her, her head still resting in her hands. Holly rolled on to her back and her arm automatically reached out, her fingers lazily searching for Gail's arm or side, or whatever it was they normally went for while they were both sleeping. Gail couldn't stop herself from smiling and a feeling warmed her chest; that kind of familiar feeling that always happened when Holly did something sweet, or said something nice, and it seemed to almost eradicate Gail's self pity in one foul swoop. Gail chuckled, amazed that Holly could still do it even in her sleep.

The back of Holly's hand searched the sheets, coming into contact with nothing but air instead of Gail's body and her fingers twitched, a throatier murmur emanating from Holly's throat. Her body inching a little further into the bed.

It only took a second, and Gail knew exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to show Holly how much she meant to her. She wanted to make her feel amazing, like Holly made Gail feel amazing every time she felt a little insecure since over the past month or so. Gail wanted to be the one to take the lead, she wanted to blow Holly's mind and give her an experience that she wouldn't forget in a hurry, just like the ones Holly had given her and just as she did, just as Gail imagined Holly would crumble under her touch, Gail wanted to look into her eyes and make her understand, with one devastating look that Holly was everything to her.

Gail leaned down next to her, pushing her body up against Holly's side. She wondered briefly, as Holly's outstretched arm automatically wrapped around her, if Holly would appreciate this at 1am. She did say at the Penny she wanted to take Gail to bed and they actually hadn't done anything earlier, Holly just getting into bed and turning the light out with the briefest of kisses before she turned over and went to sleep. Which only added to Gail's self-berating all the more, of course.

Gail leaned into Holly's neck and kissed her gently, her hand running over Holly's stomach and resting on the material of her tee. She felt Holly respond immediately, her head first of all rolling toward Gail before moving away to expose more skin as Gail's lips moved against her, her back arching as if to press herself more into Gail's touch. A moan escaped Holly's lips and her entire being gravitated toward Gail as if on instinct, like it was the very thing resting on Holly's subconscious and the only thing she wanted to do.

Gail really didn't need any further encouragement. She leaned up on her arms and rested her weight on her hands at either side of Holly's head, lowering herself down quickly, her leg eagerly falling between Holly's as her lips kissed along Holly's neck, Gail's tongue tasting her skin delicately. Fervently. Like they couldn't taste enough of her.

Holly gasped, her eyes still closed and as Gail lowered her body down completely, covering Holly's length with her own Holly automatically parted her legs, bending them at the knee and letting them rest against the mattress. Holly's breaths became labored and her tongue peeked out to moisten her lips. She felt the sensations penetrate her slowly, as if through a layer of fog that dampened her reactions but as Gail kissed her harder, and as she felt Gail's hand slip beneath her tee and trace the contours of her ribs her mind was roused to the present and her eyelids fluttered, the sound leaving her mouth in nothing but a stunted whisper. "Gail…"

Gail lifted her head and looked into Holly's face. Her eyes were barely open and her cheeks were flushed. Gail found Holly's lips and kissed her, slowly at first but then more urgently as Holly's moans became more incessant, her mouth sucking Gail's tongue in and refusing to let it go. Holly felt the desire like a deep burning in her chest, the sparks firing everywhere within her that helped to propel her mind back to wakefulness, and she was getting there quickly.

Holly's hands went to Gail's waist and she trailed them along her back so she could wrap her arms around Gail's shoulders. She dug her fingertips into Gail's skin as she felt Gail's thigh push harder against her, and as Holly pushed herself further into the contact, grinding herself down as much as she could her head tilted back and her eyes shot open, her lips forcibly ripping away from the kiss. She moaned heavily and bit down hard on her bottom lip.

Gail recognized the look in Holly's eyes and even though they were still heavy with sleep they were completely deep with desire. Gail dropped her head to the other side of Holly's neck and started kissing her way down, her hands finding the hem of Holly's tee and pushing it up, Holly helping her the rest of the way when it reached her chest. Gail raised up on her knees so Holly could take it off, and Gail stripped out of her own tee at the same time. Gail took a moment to look at Holly's upper body, her eyes roaming over Holly's breasts as the dim light from outside seemed to dance over her, illuminating her so beautifully it almost made her glow.

Holly leaned forwards, her hands immediately on Gail's waist and she pushed her lips against Gail's neck, her tongue impetuously licking and sucking at her skin. She felt her heart beating erratically, being roused from sleep so amazingly there was only one thought going through her mind; just how much she wanted her mouth against Gail and how quickly she could actually do it.

Gail's head tilted back, her lungs expelling every morsel of air. Holly had moved too fast for her to stop her and it was almost too easy to let her carry on, but she needed to remember her plan. Gail let Holly kiss her for a moment longer before she grabbed her hands and pulled them from her waist. "No," Gail whispered, and Holly pulled her head back a little.

"What?" Holly asked, her breathing now quite ragged.

Gail looked into her eyes before she lowered Holly back to the bed, pulling Holly's hands up and placing them above her head on the pillows. "Don't move," Gail breathed, before her lips went back to Holly's neck.

Holly felt the sensation flood her, from when the words entered through her ears and it travelled right down to her toes. She shuddered, breathing out hotly and even though she wanted nothing more than to touch Gail, to feel her come around her hand, she also wanted Gail to dominate her. It had been one of her fantasies since they first got together and so she let her, her mind practically reeling from the very idea of it.

Gail's hand found Holly's breast and she squeezed it, teasing the nipple with her fingers as she left several open mouthed kisses in a hot path from Holly's ear to her other breast. Her tongue immediately teased the pert nipple, paying it due attention as her fingers continued to play with the other, running it between her thumb and forefinger.

Holly moaned loudly and her body moved against the sheets, her hips once again grinding down against Gail as she too, pushed against her eagerly.

Gail was breathing hard, and she was bombarded by thoughts of what she wanted to do. She wanted to do this right, she wanted to make Holly forget everything and just scream out her name as loudly as she possibly could and if Holly would let her, she wanted to do it over and over again. Her heart was pounding and there was a dull ache between her legs that she knew wasn't going to be satisfied anytime soon and all it was doing was distracting her. Every time Holly writhed beneath her, their skin rubbed against each other and especially when Holly moaned so breathlessly as she was doing, Gail felt a little bit of her fall apart even more.

"Fuck!" Gail heard Holly say, and Gail realized her teeth were around Holly's nipple. She quickly let it go and then licked over it, making Holly groan all the more.

Gail trailed her lips lower, exploring the skin of Holly's abdomen, Holly's muscles contracting as she got more and more worked up. Gail settled between Holly's legs and she dragged her hands down Holly's sides, her thumbs and fingers tracing Holly's protruding hip bones before they rested at the top of her shorts.

Gail's fingertips inched the material down and Gail pressed a chaste kiss to the very top of Holly's leg. It made Holly flinch and then Gail ran her other hand over Holly's shorts and rested it between her legs, applying pressure with her palm to feel the hotness that lay beneath.

Holly moaned and pushed herself against Gail's hand. "Gail," she whispered again, her breaths heavy and her eyes lidded. "Please." Her hands were no longer over her head but at her sides, grabbing at the sheets. She was aware of Gail's game but she wasn't sure if she would be able to cooperate. She wanted to lose her hands in Gail's hair and if Gail didn't touch her soon, Holly thought she might go mad.

Gail shifted her weight and pulled Holly's shorts down, throwing them somewhere behind her and away from the bed. She leaned back between Holly's legs and kissed the side of her knee, then half way along her inner thigh and then finally right near the top. Holly's legs instinctively fell apart as she did so and although Gail was trying to be patient, trying to tease Holly as much as she could she had an overwhelming desire to taste her, to breathe her in and make Holly come undone. The moisture gathering between Holly's legs was evident and Gail swallowed involuntarily; the scent of her was intoxicating.

Gail's weight was on her one elbow, her free hand warming the skin of Holly's thigh. She kissed Holly again at her mid-thigh and then trailed the tip of her tongue toward the juncture of Holly's legs. Holly gasped as Gail got ever closer and she held her breath, hoping that Gail was now going to grant her some kind of release. Any kind. She was getting more and more desperate by the second.

Gail licked her lips seeing Holly laid out before her, completely naked and ready and waiting for her. Gail couldn't resist any longer. She leaned forward and captured Holly's clit between her lips, sucking it into her mouth and Holly's hips rose off the bed. Her back arching as a moan left her mouth that was so guttural, so incessant that it just made Gail just suck harder, a sound coming from her own throat that was pure, uninhibited lust.

Gail wrapped her arm around the back of Holly's leg, her fingers gripping at Holly's hip as her tongue found a steady rhythm, flicking slowly at first but then quicker, causing a deep throbbing to resonate through Holly's gut. Gail dipped her tongue lower, tasting Holly as deep as she could as Gail's tongue penetrated her, Holly breathing her name aloud as her knuckles went white gripping the sheets at her sides.

Gail couldn't believe how wet Holly was, it was doing things to her mind and only making the moisture between her own legs become more incessant. Gail felt the sensations in her own gut, the deep and pounding ache that intensified every time Gail swirled her tongue around Holly's clit, and every time she felt it pulsate in her mouth. Gail's heartbeat trebled and she couldn't wait any longer, Gail needed to send Holly tipping over the edge so she entered her with two fingers, curling them inside and Holly's head jolted off the pillows, her mouth mumbling a multitude of incoherent words before it slammed back down again.

All Gail could hear was the heavy thumping of her own heartbeat in her ears, her whole body tingling so much she felt numb. She had never done this before without Holly touching her in return, without the presence of Holly's hands somewhere on her, with their comforting and encouraging touches, or even without Holly's legs wrapped around her. This time she didn't need it, Gail was getting carried away with herself and was absolutely loving the effect she was having on Holly, and even on herself. It was like her mind was floating somewhere above them, like she was experiencing every sensation both in and out of her body and it was electrifying, as if a million tiny sparks were igniting between them making her sizzle absolutely everywhere, especially between her legs.

Gail matched the rhythm of her tongue with her fingers, thrusting in and out of Holly as Holly bucked her hips down onto her hand. Gail sucked Holly's clit into her mouth one last time and then soothed it over with her tongue. She kissed her way back up Holly's abdomen, sensing that Holly was on the verge of crashing down around her and Gail had to finish off her plan.

Gail felt Holly clenching around her fingers and it was all she could do to concentrate. She kissed her just above her belly button, the side of her breast, the middle of her chest that was rising and falling erratically as Holly panted for air. Gail found the sensitive spot on Holly's neck and she sucked on it, teasing it with her tongue as she flicked her thumb against Holly's clit, her fingers thrusting in and out of her, over and over, harder and harder, and Holly just couldn't take it.

She screamed out, her hands finally breaking their promise, one of them gripping on Gail's forearm and the other finding the side of Gail's neck. Holly was dramatically close, she felt herself burning up on the inside, her heart pounding furiously and her hips forcibly bearing down on Gail's hand. Holly was feeling herself go, her mind was sky rocketing. "Gail!" she moaned wildly, pulling at Gail's neck and crashing their lips together. Gail's tongue was quickly in her mouth and Holly tasted herself on her and it was ten times more than what she needed.

Gail felt Holly hold her deep inside and so she curled her fingers, applying just the right amount of pressure to tip her right over the edge. Holly's mouth dropped open and Gail pulled away slightly to look into her eyes but they were closed. In a split second she rested her forehead against Holly's to stop it from tipping back. "Holly," she breathed, her voice shaking.

It was said with such devotion and intensity Holly's eyes opened, and just as she felt her world collapse, just as the layers peeled back and her body crumpled into a thousand pieces, she saw the look in Gail's eye and it told her everything. In the space of what must have been only a few seconds, she saw something she had never seen from Gail before and it made her heart absolutely melt. Holly screamed out, Gail's name echoing into the darkness and the ceiling of Holly's world caved in. She felt her chest explode and the fire between her legs magnified until it engulfed her body whole, that familiar white-heat spasming through her time after time, over and over, a tingling sensation reaching every part of her and then everything just went black.

Holly's hand still clamped tightly on Gail's forearm and it was a good few minutes before she relaxed it, but Gail didn't care. She also felt the wetness all over her hand as well but nor did she care about that (well she did and she loved it). Gail just looked at Holly with such compassion she thought she might pass out from the level of affection but she didn't, and she just smiled to herself, happy that she had got across what she wanted to and absolutely incredulous that she was letting herself feel such things. Even six months ago she would've thought it possible yet here she was, with this beautiful person in her arms with whom she absolutely knew, she was completely in love with.

Gail just couldn't believe it. If she didn't know it before she certainly did now; her plan clearly having as much of an effect on her as it did on Holly.

Holly shuddered, her shoulders falling forwards as her head fell to Gail's shoulder. Her body was numb but she had never felt more loved and she couldn't believe Gail was able to convey it to her, like that, and all in that moment. Holly clung to her, and Gail wrapped her in her arms, holding her as protectively as she could. Holly felt spent and she just couldn't contain the emotion any longer, a few tears sliding down her cheeks as she felt completely drained and totally overwhelmed. She was certain she had never felt anything so intensely as that before in her entire life. She wiped the moisture from her face and felt the weariness creep upon her.

Gail settled them both down back against the pillows with little disturbance to Holly who was still wrapped up against her chest. Gail pulled the sheets up around them and then she took in a deep breath, letting Holly get comfortable in the crook of her neck and envelope herself around Gail's side.

Gail wrapped her one arm around Holly, pulling her closer and she felt her own eyes close, a satisfied smile tugging on her lips. She felt Holly's grip tighten on her hip and although she was exceptionally worked up, she tried to breath it all out as tonight was all about Holly. Gail would just have to wait.

Gail heard Holly murmur something and she opened her eyes to look down at her. Holly's neck tilted up a little but her eyes were still closed.

"I love you," Holly said. As simple and as honest as that, the words a little slurred with sleep.

Gail paused, her tongue immediately running across her bottom lip. There was silence, and Gail felt herself stop breathing. Her mind went completely blank, and eventually a thought went to consider whether or not Holly had just said that in her sleep. Surely she hadn't. Surely, she must be awake, to say something like that… Gail breathed and then scanned the room, not really certain why, and she had never felt so completely awake in all her life. She went to say something, but she couldn't find her voice. She felt tense, and then annoyed that she felt tense.

"Holly," Gail whispered, knowing she needed to say something and actually, honestly, ready to say the same words back. It was like some kind of epiphany, the emotion of the past hour or so serving to crack her heart wide open. Somehow, Holly had inspired her.

But there was nothing.

"Holly… ?" Gail whispered, again.

Still nothing. Gail tried to look at Holly's face but her head had shifted down again. Gail couldn't remember feeling Holly shift again, and she wondered how long she had been panicking in her head. She felt Holly take even breaths and she knew she was asleep so Gail rested her head back against the pillows. She was asleep, but Holly did just tell her she loved her and whether she was asleep while she said it or not, Gail couldn't help the incredibly huge grin from spreading across her face.

_She loves me_, Gail thought, and it was the last thing on her mind before she surrendered into sleep.

* * *

Holly awoke to a noise coming from her kitchen. Her eyes opened slowly, her body lethargic and mind tired. She stretched, breathing in as she yawned a little drowsily and then it all came back to her. Gail, last night, had been amazing. She smiled, a big, satisfied and content smile, drowning again in how Gail had made her feel. She remembered Gail's lips on her, what her tongue had done to her, and how she had given herself wholly, completely under the control of someone else. To Gail, and it was fantastic.

She reached over to the other side of the bed which was now empty, and Holly grabbed the pillow and held it to her chest, breathing in the scent of her girlfriend who she hoped wouldn't be gone too long. She was probably making coffee.

Holly thought about Gail's eyes, the way she pretty much peered into her soul as the bottom dropped out of Holly's world, and honestly she had never felt more under the spell of anyone in her life. God she was in love.

So in love.

Then she remembered.

Holly shot up in bed, the sheet falling away from her and gathering at her hips. _You told her you love her_, and now Gail wasn't there.

Holly jumped out of bed as a serious sinking feeling attacked her stomach. She grabbed the first item of clothing she passed; Gail's sweater she had on last night and threw it on over her head.

She walked into the living room probably a little too hastily and saw Gail standing with her back to her in the kitchen, hovering around the coffee maker. Holly instantly felt relieved and she blew out an edgy breath, but she noticed Gail was fully clothed. "You're dressed," Holly said, a little accusingly.

Gail turned around with the pot in her hand and placed it on the kitchen island. Her face lit up in a smile when she saw Holly standing there, wearing her sweater. "Hey," she said. "I'm glad you're up. I made you coffee."

"You made me coffee?" Holly asked, her voice slightly too high in pitch. "Not us?" Even though she didn't want to think it, her mind was still stuck on the fact Gail might be doing a runner.

Gail walked over to her. "I have to go. I really have to get to parade. I had five missed calls from Traci this morning and three messages from my brother. Something's up, so." She let a grin cover her lips as she pulled Holly closer to her by her jumper. "I thought you said you'd never share my things."

Holly didn't know what to think. Gail was leaving, without saying anything about last night, but she was being all nice and flirty with her. Holly shook the concerned expression off her face and tried for her more familiar trademark smirk and spoke out of the side of her mouth. "Well, it's not like I'd go outside in it or anything…" she trailed off, hoping that was playful enough. "Just not my style."

Gail grinned and wrapped her hands around Holly's waist. "Hmm," she hummed, bringing their lips together. "Whatever, nerd," she finished, and then kissed her softly before pulling her into a hug.

Holly's hands tightened on Gail's back and Gail thought she should say something about last night before she had to go. "Holly, I…" she started, wondering if this really was the best time. She wanted to, she really did, but that was what last night was about after all. Showing her, so surely Holly knew? "…I have to go," she said, over Holly's shoulder, deciding it was probably best kept for later. When there was more time.

Gail pulled away, but this time Holly kissed her before she could move away from her completely. "I'll see you tonight?" Gail asked.

Holly nodded before she remembered she couldn't. She shook her head. "Oh I can't. I'm meeting my sister, remember?"

Gail did remember. "Okay." She backed away and grabbed her keys and her bag from the sofa. "Then call me?"

Holly just nodded, and Gail turned to open the door.

"Gail," Holly said, taking a step forward, a little bit closer to her. Holly felt like she was tethered, somehow, an invisible pull between them. She really didn't want Gail to go. She felt like she should say something, explain about last night. How Gail had made her feel and that was what prompted her admission. Gail's eyes were on her, expectant. They were warm though, her expression soft and almost, _loving_. Her hair was sculpted back over head as it usually was for work and she looked absolutely perfect. Holly sighed, and shook her head. "Be safe."

Gail smiled. "I will," and then she was gone.

* * *

_**Happy New Year! :)**_


End file.
